To want to not exist

[Rurarura]

My puppy just bit me, my DH has let the kitchen pile up again, I'm behind with work and feel like I don't want to be here anymore. How pathetic am I .

You're not pathetic, OP

You just have a bad day. We all do.

How old is puppy? are you working on biting inhibition? They do that when they're small but need to be trained.

Does your DH help you, normally?

You’re not pathetic

Sounds like everythings hit you at once. Can you break it down into little more manageable chunks?

Is the puppy in training? Is there somewhere you can take it for proper socialising/training?
Can your dh help/sort the kitchen? How would he react if you told him how you felt?

Take a breath. I’m sorry it feels so much right now. Do you have anyone around who can come over for a tea or something?

Puppy had stopped biting, but has now started again due to teething. I know it's not his fault. DH didn't originally want the puppy but constantly fusses over him and gets up when he whines, undermining me, even though I'm familiar with training dogs. DH can be lovely, but I'm not feeling the love right now. I feel alone and hopeless. He's always saying things will change and then they don't. I don't want to get up anymore.

DH is calling me and I'm ignoring him. I struggle with anxiety and ADHD, he knows I've felt suicidal and shit recently. I guess last year now.

I wish I had something comforting to say. I really feel for you, though. Hope things get better.

They are not. Called crisis line, but get sent back to 'wellbeing' service in my area. Then call them and get sent back to crisis line. Maybe when I stick a knife through my eyeball they'll send a practice nurse. Probably not though