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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Health anxiety and my aunties cruel comment.

125 replies

APositiveMind · 01/01/2019 12:48

I was over my mum's yesterday evening for a NYE party with some drinks and games.
I have health anxiety and my family are long term aware of this and often make comments about being a hypochondriac.

I had a beer last night and my younger cousin asked to try it with my aunties permission I let her take a sip. I carried on drinking my beer and then my aunty pointed out to me that my cousin had been up all the night before being sick and on the toilet.

I immediately thought of all the norovirus going around and I am now absolutely convinced I'm going to get poorly.

I have a horrible fear of being sick and having a upset tummy.

On a humorous note my aunties a veggie and I had a dream last night that I rubbed one of my pigs in blankets on all her veggie options because I was annoyed. If only!

OP posts:
PleaseLetMummySleep · 01/01/2019 12:52

I'm confused, what cruel comment did she make?

Do you mean when she said your cousin had been sick? That was a factual comment to convey information to you. I would assume she meant don't share any more food/drinks with the cousin due to them having been ill.

Butchyrestingface · 01/01/2019 12:53

She’d have been better telling you before your cousin sipped from your drink.

But then, I’m surprised someone with health anxiety would allow others to drink from their glass in the first place.

Oldraver · 01/01/2019 12:53

Was your Aunt being cruel on purpose ie made the comment knowing it would upset you ? or just a heads up over the D+V ?

Bad form your cousin being out anyway, though it I would imagine it's hard for you to voice any genuine health concerns with your family knowing of your anxiety

starcrossedseahorse · 01/01/2019 12:55

Yes I am very surprised at the sharing (as a hugely anxious person myself). I would absolutely not have done this.

Hope that you are ok though OP. Anxiety is horrible.

Mischiefinthewind · 01/01/2019 12:55

Her comment would only be cruel if it was untrue. Otherwise it’s just a statement of fact. I’m surprised you shared a drink, my DD would have poured some into a glass rather than share.
I hope you are working towards managing your anxieties, it is a relentless state and exhausting state to exist in.

daisypond · 01/01/2019 12:56

But what was the cruel comment?

WorraLiberty · 01/01/2019 12:56

Have you left out the cruel comment? Confused

FissionChips · 01/01/2019 12:57

Why didn’t you pour some into a glass? I don’t even allow my child to sip from the same drinking vessel as me.

starcrossedseahorse · 01/01/2019 12:57

I think the OP is perceiving the comment re the cousin's illness as 'cruel' as it came after the drink so would cause the OP to worry that she will now get ill. I think...?

elvis86 · 01/01/2019 12:57

I'd go NC after cruelty like that...

Isadora2007 · 01/01/2019 12:57

Your aunt was “cruel” in bringing a child who had been up sick and with the runs anywhere less than 24 hours later. Mentioning it after she shared your glass wasn’t cruel.

Original poster
APositiveMind · 01/01/2019 12:58

I had asked her if it was ok for my cousin to have a sip and she said yes.. Then waited for me to drink it again, and watched me and said it with raised eyebrows. You know when someone just makes a comment and it comes across as smug. It was one of those moment I thought 'why did you wait for me to drink it before telling me'

OP posts:
SoyDora · 01/01/2019 12:59

Do you mean it was cruel that she waited until after your cousin had drank from your glass to tell you?

SoyDora · 01/01/2019 12:59

Sorry x post

WorraLiberty · 01/01/2019 13:00

You need to take responsibility though OP

If your health anxiety is that bad, you can't expect everyone else to take responsibility for it. As others have said, you shouldn't let people drink from your glass if this is how it affects you.

Anyway, it's Christmas and she's a kid. It's very possible she just over-indulged.

Littleraindrop15 · 01/01/2019 13:00

Perhaps she thought you were going to give it in a glass? Either way you will live lol 😂

Original poster
APositiveMind · 01/01/2019 13:03

Health anxiety aside then - A: why didn't she tell me to separate the drink? B: Why didn't she mention she was poorly before I then deanknout of it again after her. C: Even someone without worrying about being ill would be a bit concerned if they had let someone do that who may or may not have a stomach bug?

I just wish I'd been let know, I could have poured a bit in a glass Sad

OP posts:
Mischiefinthewind · 01/01/2019 13:04

It does sound as if your family regard you as part of the entertainment, which is unkind. My friend is arachnophobic, which her teenagers find hysterical and use to upset her on a regular basis.
Next time, use a different glass and think about ways you can be more proactive about avoiding your family’s antics.

WhyDontYouComeOnOver · 01/01/2019 13:05

Have you been diagnosed with health anxiety?

WorraLiberty · 01/01/2019 13:05

Because she probably forgot Confused

It was NYE, you were all having a party with drinks and games.

What happened last night was probably not foremost in her thoughts.

Butchyrestingface · 01/01/2019 13:05

I just wish I'd been let know, I could have poured a bit in a glass sad

But why is someone with HA allowing another person to drink from the same glass to begin with? That’s the bit that doesn’t make sense to me.

MrsXx4 · 01/01/2019 13:07

I don’t have health anxiety.... at least I’ve never thought I have?!? ....but I won’t drink from a bottle or share a spoon with my DH let alone a cousin!! I also can’t bite where he has bitten, like if he offers me a taste of his burger or sandwich etc! Grin

UhOh4321 · 01/01/2019 13:07

I totally understand. I have health anxiety too and would never share a drink with someone who had been sick/on the toilet loads the night before. Think even without the health anxiety I'd be the same; who wants to get d+v! They should have told you before, or just not at all to save you worrying.

madmum5811 · 01/01/2019 13:08

Well school advises isolating kids with norovirus 48 hours post vom/squits. Aunt was being thoughtless.

starcrossedseahorse · 01/01/2019 13:08

No that does seem very strange.

OP are you on medication? It can be very helpful but you do need to help yourself by not putting yourself in anxiety provoking situations (like letting someone share a glass with you...yuck).