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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Health anxiety and my aunties cruel comment.

125 replies

APositiveMind · 01/01/2019 12:48

I was over my mum's yesterday evening for a NYE party with some drinks and games.
I have health anxiety and my family are long term aware of this and often make comments about being a hypochondriac.

I had a beer last night and my younger cousin asked to try it with my aunties permission I let her take a sip. I carried on drinking my beer and then my aunty pointed out to me that my cousin had been up all the night before being sick and on the toilet.

I immediately thought of all the norovirus going around and I am now absolutely convinced I'm going to get poorly.

I have a horrible fear of being sick and having a upset tummy.

On a humorous note my aunties a veggie and I had a dream last night that I rubbed one of my pigs in blankets on all her veggie options because I was annoyed. If only!

OP posts:
Original poster
APositiveMind · 01/01/2019 13:08

@WhyDontYouComeOnOver

I have been diagnosed with generalised anxiety, social phobia disorder/agoraphobia and depression.

Admittedly I've thrown health anxiety in as any ache pain or twinge I'm convinced I might die. My family have always made comments about me being a hypochondriac. I was much worse when i was younger, I try and just ignore my own thoughts now!

OP posts:
Mischiefinthewind · 01/01/2019 13:09

DD has elements of OCD in her behaviour, which means that she has developed a range of strategies to help her cope with life in the wider world. You need to take more responsibility for managing your anxieties, how do you cope at work or college?

starcrossedseahorse · 01/01/2019 13:11

Yes coping strategies are invaluable.

Original poster
APositiveMind · 01/01/2019 13:11

@starcrossedseahorse.
I was prescribed setraline(antidepressant) but one read of the pamphlet and I couldn't touch them from fear I might have an allergic reaction. I have had CBT until recently, which did really help so might be a car of taking a trip back to the therapist.

OP posts:
Birdie6 · 01/01/2019 13:11

A: why didn't she tell me to separate the drink? B: Why didn't she mention she was poorly before I then drank out of it again after her

Sorry but you know that you have health anxiety . It's unfair of you to expect other people to safeguard you against every possible anxiety-inducing situation. Why didn't YOU separate the drink ? You need to look after yourself and not expect others to be constantly protecting you.

maddiemookins16mum · 01/01/2019 13:11

There really are some drama Llamas out there. What on earth is a health anxiety?
Was did your Dr say at diagnosis?

UhOh4321 · 01/01/2019 13:12

Butchyrestingface I have health anxiety and will share drinks with my adult family members if I know they are in good health. And as the OP family knew about her anxiety she probably assumed they would have told her before drinking the drink that they were not in good heath.

Original poster
APositiveMind · 01/01/2019 13:13

@mischiefinthewind.
Funnily enough I work in dentistry. But with PPE I feel more sound at work than anywhere else.

OP posts:
starcrossedseahorse · 01/01/2019 13:14

OP I was the same about Sertraline but got over my fear and it worked for me when I was really very, very ill. It is very good at calming anxiety. If your GP thinks you should try it then maybe you should give it a go?

Thatsalovelycuppatea · 01/01/2019 13:14

I think it's better to educate friends and family about your fear of being sick. I totally understand where you are coming from as I have low immunity and my therapist is encouraging me more to tell people how I'm feeling and explain about the low immunity and pain. If people don't know, they can't help.
But if they know and choose to still invite you that is wrong and arrogant.

Butchyrestingface · 01/01/2019 13:15

Butchyrestingface I have health anxiety and will share drinks with my adult family members if I know they are in good health.

Dif'rent strokes. I don't have HA and I wouldn't share a glass with anyone else in a million years.

Irrespective of her family's attitude, I do agree with others that OP needs to take some responsibility for her own well-being. A good start, imo, would be to not share drinking/eating utensils with others.

FissionChips · 01/01/2019 13:16

I have health anxiety and will share drinks with my adult family members if I know they are in good health

But they could be harbouring all types of germs and disease but just not show it yet.

Why would you take that risk? Especially if you have HA?

daisypond · 01/01/2019 13:16

By not taking the medication you've been prescribed, you're deliberately making your condition much worse and people will lose sympathy with you. You need to take some responsibility for your mental health and want to make it better, especially when help has been provided for you. If you start taking your medication, your mind set will start to shift.

ragged · 01/01/2019 13:16

alcohol kills germs (not every germ, but many)

The booze will probably give you cancer before that sip gives you noro, btw. I don't know how someone with HA can drink alcohol at all, tbh.

thebaronetofcockburn · 01/01/2019 13:16

I thought 'health anxiety' was the more PC term for a hypochondriac.

Original poster
APositiveMind · 01/01/2019 13:17

I'm not a germaphobe?
I worry about getting ill. Not about family members germs if they are in full health.

Wouldn't you naturally let people know if you or your kids have a stomach bug so they can make a decision as to whether they want to be around you in the risk of catching it. Nobody in the house was told which I find a little disrespectful I suppose?

OP posts:
Fontofnoknowledge · 01/01/2019 13:17

I have health anxiety and my family are long term aware of this and often make comments about being a hypochondriac.

Are you saying that your family believe that your health anxiety is a bit 'put on' ? Because they call you a hypochondriac?

I am confused as Hypochondria IS excessive worry about health. Just it's medical name.

WorraLiberty · 01/01/2019 13:17

Butchyrestingface I have health anxiety and will share drinks with my adult family members if I know they are in good health.

That's a really silly thing to do though

You can't possibly know someone isn't about to come down with a cold or a stomach bug.

Many things are contagious before symptoms show.

I'd be really surprised if people with diagnosed health anxiety didn't realise that.

MereDintofPandiculation · 01/01/2019 13:17

I presume your cousin is under 18. Your aunt probably answered the question that most people would have meant: "Are you OK about your underage daughter having a sip of beer" and not the question you meant "Is your daughter free enough of germs for me to allow her to share my glass". It was only afterwards she remembered the d&V so she warned you. So, no, not deliberate cruelty.

Butchyrestingface · 01/01/2019 13:19

I'm not a germaphobe?
I worry about getting ill. Not about family members germs if they are in full health.

But you can't possibly know whether someone is in "full health". They may have something working on them/still in their system, etc.

Your cousin, for instance, appeared healthy but probably wasn't.

Original poster
APositiveMind · 01/01/2019 13:19

I told my doctor I didn't feel comfortable taking the meds. That's when they referred me to CBT. I don't even like to take paracetamol unless I really have to.
I know the anti depressants would help, I just can't bring myself to take them.

OP posts:
Bringbackthestrioes · 01/01/2019 13:20

I think anyone who had shared a glass with someone & then discovered the other person had been ill would be concerned. Your aunt-knowing you worry about your health, was cruel not informing you until after she had had a drink.

I had a dream last night that I rubbed one of my pigs in blankets on all her veggie options because I was annoyed.
^good for you Grin

User758172 · 01/01/2019 13:20

You need to take some responsibility for yourself here OP. No, your aunt’s comment wasn’t ‘cruel’.

WorraLiberty · 01/01/2019 13:21

Why did the CBT stop?

FissionChips · 01/01/2019 13:21

But germs can make you ill Confused