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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Husband asleep at midnight and myself in tears

74 replies

Thankfuckitsfriday1 · 01/01/2019 00:48

I am fully prepared and okay with being told IABU because tbh I can’t tell right now as my emotions are clouding my judgment.

I have been looking foward to NYE with the husband and we normally stay in and watch the fireworks on TV with food and drink and board games. We always chat about the last year and all that happened and this year was a biggie (we realised our son had SEN and was diagnosed).

He fell asleep at 10 and I tried waking him up 5 times including 11.30, 11.40. 11.55. And he kept saying he’s too tired...

So I went into the new year sat alone crying with no one this wish happy new year too/at. I couldn’t even fucking load up the fireworks on my phone quick enough (we don’t have normal TV) as I was so pre occupied trying to wake him up so I missed those too.

I’m just so so so upset he couldn’t wake himself up enough to come and sit with me or even wake up in bed to wish me happy new year.. he even woke up to undress but didn’t get up. It feels worse then it is I’m sure and writing it has made me realise it’s likely stupid but I felt so alone.

(Background he works 9-5 and I’m the tired one as baby doesn’t sleep). I also have no friends at all so have no one else to wish it too.

OP posts:

Original poster

Thankfuckitsfriday1 · 01/01/2019 00:49

I know it’s stupid reading it back

OP posts:

continuallychargingmyphone · 01/01/2019 00:49

Sorry you feel alone but gently yes, I think you’re overreacting. Try and sleep.

ssd · 01/01/2019 00:50

happy new year to you, get a sleep and I hope you feel better in the morning

Highginx · 01/01/2019 00:51

I hate NY for making people feel like this. It’s far too much pressure.

Have a good sleep OP and I’m sure tomorrow will be better. You can do the whole analysis of the year on a walk or something when he’s awake. He might be coming down with something.

I don’t think YABU - I just think NY makes everything BU.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 01/01/2019 00:52

You’re getting it out of all proportions. If I was asleep and someone tried 5 times to wake me up I wouldn’t be very happy.

Hormones/tiredness can make you like that though. Don’t worry about it, wish him happy new year when he’s properly awake.

user1473878824 · 01/01/2019 00:52

I get it OP. It will all feel okay in a bit. You just wanted a nice night and it felt like he couldn’t be arsed. See if you can do your new year over again on Friday and make it fun xxx

SpinneyHill · 01/01/2019 00:52

Im having a weep as well. By myself with kids asleep and feeling more alone than usual. So we've been stupid together xx

AnneLovesGilbert · 01/01/2019 00:52

Happy new year OP. What were your highlights of 2018? I’d like to know!

It’s one night. This time next year you can chuckle about how he got old and couldn’t even see midnight as 2019 came in and have a better one to see in the new decade! Don’t go into tomorrow feeling grumpy and sad. There are 365 days to look forward to ahead of us all

Darkautumn · 01/01/2019 00:53

I think you'll feel brighter in the morning OP. My husband fell asleep early too!

IAmAlwaysLikeThis · 01/01/2019 00:53

Sometimes people just get tired.

Sorry your night wasn’t what you expected/planned.

Wowimfinallyhere · 01/01/2019 00:53

First time poster here but you are not alone. I'm feeling exactly the same . I want it to be exciting but it's just not . Sat watching jools holland while dh is in bed. Super sad x

ClemDanFango · 01/01/2019 00:53

In the grand scheme of things it’s not the end of the world, disappointing maybe but nothing to get so upset about.
Give yourself a shake, wipe your tears and get thee to bed. You’ll feel better in the morning.

bridgetreilly · 01/01/2019 00:53

I think it sounds as though you need more sleep too. I hope you went to bed after posting this and that he gets up early tomorrow to give you a lie in.

Heartofglass12345 · 01/01/2019 00:54

I got food for me and my husband to have together after I finished work... he wasn't hungry so I ate my share. He said to me at about 11, is it New Year's Eve? Lol. Then he ate his share 😂 I just realised we forgot to say happy new year to each other too lol. It doesn't mean much in the grander scheme of things really. Wish him happy new year in the morning and let it go. Happy new year!

mystar · 01/01/2019 00:55

you are both. I would be well pissed If i was awake and alone however, your partner is just tired. He’s not not done it to piss you off. Get to sleep and think you can snuggle up for the next few nights watching Luther x

Apileofballyhoo · 01/01/2019 00:56

My DH fell asleep too. Why don't you have any friends? Do you have family? Happy New Year from me to you and best wishes for 2019, by the way!

LEMtheoriginal · 01/01/2019 00:56

Yababitu in all honesty. There is nothing like imposing having to stay awake to send me off to sleep. Managed to stay awake just but i swear its like a narcotic. Just like watching a pre planned films. I cant stay awake past the intro.

Go and get into bed with your dh. Wake up together in the morning. Its just another day, really.

ChristmasSprite · 01/01/2019 00:57

It is a big night and only once a year and holds so much significance.

It's an opportunity for you to celebrate part of something so massive.

So, yes, I do get where you are coming from and wish you a very Happy New Year!!!

May it be good one!

MissConductUS · 01/01/2019 00:57

I'm going to sleep before midnight as I'm feeling poorly but I'm sure DH will be fine with it.

It's really just another day iyswim.

Whisky2014 · 01/01/2019 00:58

Yes YABU. But go to bed have a cuddle and dont stew on it. Have a nice catch up tomorrow.

Original poster

Thankfuckitsfriday1 · 01/01/2019 00:59

You’ve all made me feel SO much better and had a bit of a cry reason some of your comments. It’s nice to know I’m not alone in feeling this way. He’s just rolled over and we’ve had a kiss and said it.

I do need sleep and I think it’s the pressure. High gin I think you have it spot on.

Thanks all

OP posts:

AtrociousCircumstance · 01/01/2019 00:59

Happy New Year OP

May 2019 be full of joy and positivity Your DH was probably just very knackered and sleep overtook him. I know you are exhausted too but it affects different people in different ways - for instance I get tired and wired but can stay awake, whereas some people just crash.

AtrociousCircumstance · 01/01/2019 01:00

Cross post! Glad you’re feeling better

RhubarbTea · 01/01/2019 01:00

You're tired and this is just a symbol of how lonely you feel at the moment in your life. Sure it's annoying but not the end of the world.
Maybe use this as a wake up call to change the things about your life you aren't happy with so that 2019 can be a good year for you.
Hugs to you, OP. It'll seem better in the morning.

Whatsforu · 01/01/2019 01:01

As a pp said there is so much pressure and hype with NYE however normal life goes on and not always to plan. I fell asleep earlier and desperately wanted to go to bed. You will feel better in the morning, you can have a chat then when you are both rested. Happy New Year.

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