Husband asleep at midnight and myself in tears

[Thankfuckitsfriday1]

I am fully prepared and okay with being told IABU because tbh I can’t tell right now as my emotions are clouding my judgment.

I have been looking foward to NYE with the husband and we normally stay in and watch the fireworks on TV with food and drink and board games. We always chat about the last year and all that happened and this year was a biggie (we realised our son had SEN and was diagnosed).

He fell asleep at 10 and I tried waking him up 5 times including 11.30, 11.40. 11.55. And he kept saying he’s too tired...

So I went into the new year sat alone crying with no one this wish happy new year too/at. I couldn’t even fucking load up the fireworks on my phone quick enough (we don’t have normal TV) as I was so pre occupied trying to wake him up so I missed those too.

I’m just so so so upset he couldn’t wake himself up enough to come and sit with me or even wake up in bed to wish me happy new year.. he even woke up to undress but didn’t get up. It feels worse then it is I’m sure and writing it has made me realise it’s likely stupid but I felt so alone.

(Background he works 9-5 and I’m the tired one as baby doesn’t sleep). I also have no friends at all so have no one else to wish it too.

I know what you mean - dh went to bed at half eleven - I was pissed off that he could wait the extra half an hour (now though am enjoying playing “my” music on the Alexa and faffing about on mumsnet

Rhubarbtea - you are very right. With my sons SEN play groups are a no go and I’ve never been good at making friends so don’t have any.
I want a best friend and a group of mums I can meet up with but I’ve tried many times and it just doesn’t happen for me. And I’ve been thinking about that lately so all bottled up and came out tonight most likely.

Thank you

It’s cathartic to cry. I always have a good weep at Christmas. No one can meet the impossible standards!

Coffee and croissants and a chat tomorrow after a good sleep, maybe.

Happy New Year ,

I'm crying too. I'm in bed. DH is downstairs playing cards with the dc. My Dad died in March and I feel as if I've left him behind somehow

You're not over reacting, I'm in the same boat and have also been upset, I understand how you feel, hope you are ok x

Sorry for your loss Edam.

In the nicest possible way, YABU. He was clearly too tired to stay awake and as you have a baby, you probably know just how difficult it is to force yourself not to sleep even though you desperately need to.

I do understand though. My husband isn't even at home tonight even though I wish he was, he's working, so it's just me and the dog (plus kids asleep in their beds). We live on top of a hill and can see for miles out of our bedroom window, so I sat in my bed with the curtains open and watched the fireworks all over town and beyond. It was great to watch but it would have been nicer if DH was here.

It is completely wrong that the worst bit in your OP for me is that you don’t have normal tv !! No wonder you are feeling down! Get a telly in the sales and you can watch trash tv with the rest of us when you’re fed up.

Sorry for loss edam, I’ve also lost my father and know how awful it is x

sorry you're feeling so lonely. But maybe think of times when you've been that tired and just wanted to sleep. New years eve is over rated. Dh and I are about to go to bed and I think we both actually wanted to go to sleep ages ago!

Hohocobbage - we have Netflix, 4OD, amazon prime etc just not actual TV 😂 will take it under advisement though!

Maybe you'll meet other Mums through your DS now, OP. Have you joined any FB groups or anything like that?

Apile

• I have met a few but none that click or offer meet ups? I’ve arrange some but they never do back..

What a lovely bunch of people here. Thought I would be reading a load of horrid snarky messages but everyone is being kind and reflecting that we all get a bit tired and we all hope it will be a bit like the perfect movie but in reality its all a bit rubbish and we all do the best we can. Happy New Year to everyone reading this. x

that’s ok then

It can take ages and ages to find people you want to be friends with or click with at all! I hope 2019 will be the year of friendship. Are you in touch with any friends from school or work pre DC?

I think there's so much pressure to be at a party, be sociable that if we're not, we feel that we're missing out. Sounds like you need some sleep, don't let it get to you

This is the heart and soul of MN, the very best of it thing kind of thing. Long mayvit continue through 2019/and long beyond

Have a look for groups which support SEN families. The sense of relief you get when you get to spend time with people who understand is priceless.

I have bawled for most of the evening. Some songs from a very happy period of my childhood were on the radio earlier. I lost my mum very suddenly 3 months ago- all the memories came flooding back. I just couldn’t stop once I’d started.

Then the fireworks started at midnight and set one of the dogs off. Half an hour it lasted.

I’m glad tonight is over.

Edam so sorry I think I understand what you mean starting a whole new year that someone you love won't be in.
Op you will probably see this differently after a good night's sleep and
Aintnobodyhere I'm in the same boat tonight Dh away for work Kids asleep dog sniffy about the fireworks.
X

I get it, this year is the first time in 9 years that my partner stayed up. He is usually asleep by 10pm and I always watch tv by myself.
Happy new year & I hope 2019 is a good one for you x

My dp working tonight. I hate it.
Thought make most of it. Put baby to bed and teen would be up with me. Nice food amovie then fireworks..
Baby had other ideas.. Aftwr being ill with virus since boxing night she's spent tree with night crying constantly.. Went to bed at 6.45..uo at 7.25 and only just gone back.. Think may be earache. Dosed her up.. Will ring 111 if still bad tomorrow as she was inconsolable which isn't like her.

Ivw just been in my room with her in tears as feel bad for teen as his night was a flop, me as I've not even had chance to put her down to even sterilise bottles or have a shower. I feel manky and exhausted. Dp should get in about 4am and will prob find me a blubbering wreck lol.
In all fairness I'm not normally like this but I too have the virus. Dp has worked loads and it's been down to me for most of it all. And nye often makes me sad as I've never had a good one ever..

Sorry for typos that's exhaustion for you..

I agree, you put too much pressure on yourself to conform to some stereotypical image of what you should do at New Years. Life doesn’t fit this most of the time.

I fell asleep on the lounge around 9pm. If my DH or kids tried to wake me I would have felt like punching them in the face (kids are older teens/adults for anyone with a mental image of me wanting to punch a 3yo in the face). I was tired.

I woke up around 2am and put myself to bed. Kids had obviously put themselves to bed at some point, no idea whether they made midnight or not. DH had amused himself with a bottle of wine and movie I am told this morning. No angst. Not every family has to be The Brady Bunch.