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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think he's being ridiculous?

81 replies

LittleAlbatross · 31/12/2018 21:38

DH is very, very fussy. Honestly it's like having a third child and annoying that he won't eat so many things.

We ran out of bread yesterday and I popped to the garage in the evening on the way home from a day out (only place open on a Sunday evening) and all they had left was brown bread. DH views brown bread as an implement of torture.

Tomorrow we are planning a family fell walk. I asked him to make some sandwiches this evening whilst I dealt with the kids. He's made everyone a sandwich except himself.

I asked him why and he said he didn't want one and would just eat "the other bits." The other bits being a packet of crisps.

I think he's hoping I'll dip into the party food I'm keeping for DDs birthday party in a few days time. Think sausage rolls etc. This is not happening.

I know I should just leave him to it but it just means that tomorrow he'll be grumpy when he gets hungry and he'll put a dampener on the day, like he so often does. AIBU to think he's being ridiculous and that brown bread is perfectly edible?

This probably seems petty but I have many issues with this relationship and just need to vent!

OP posts:
Santaisfastasleepatlast · 31/12/2018 21:39

Have the dc copied his attitude?
Personally fussy eaters drive me nuts!!

R3b3kah · 31/12/2018 21:40

I personally wouldn’t mind brown bread, but not everyone is the same.

If it was me I would say take a bit of the party food and replace it when shops open on 2nd January

Original poster
LittleAlbatross · 31/12/2018 21:41

One DC is fussy but has suspected sensory issues, the other eats everything. However the brown bread thing is particularly annoying because when we're out and ordering sandwiches for the DC he will automatically order white bread for them if left to it, even though they both happily eat brown!

OP posts:
2019rubberband · 31/12/2018 21:44

I think if he doesn't like brown bread that's ok and why the need to be annoyed at him for not making a sandwich he doesn't want? He is an adult and can choose whatever he wants to eat.

azulmariposa · 31/12/2018 21:44

I hate brown bread, and I wouldn't eat it.
You know that he doesn't like it, yet won't make any other food for him? That's a bit mean.

ChristineBaskets · 31/12/2018 21:48

I wouldn't want a brown bread sandwich either.

Original poster
LittleAlbatross · 31/12/2018 21:48

You know that he doesn't like it, yet won't make any other food for him? That's a bit mean.

I don't have anything else for him to take. The party is on Thursday. I have friends coming over on Wednesday so no chance to pop to the shops which are 11 miles away (rural area) to replace any party items.

Plus, why should I be responsible for making him something else? He's the one that made the sandwiches whilst I dealt with the kids. He's the one that is choosing to go hungry, and knowing him, this will result in grumpiness.

OP posts:
Houseonahill · 31/12/2018 21:51

I see this from both sides, I'm really fussy but if there is no food I like I just don't eat, I don't then get angry and whinge because it's my problem BUT if he doesn't like brown bread why do insist on everyone eating it Confused

jomaIone · 31/12/2018 22:08

Why should he eat a sandwich he doesn't like? I wouldn't! Fussy eating is fine if it doesn't affect anyone else. He'll be the hungry one or he could just grab a sandwich on the way.

MIdgebabe · 31/12/2018 22:15

Hungry or hungry, grumpy and spending extra cash on takeaway food?

Could he not make a cold potatoe or pasta salad ?

Aquamarine1029 · 31/12/2018 22:17

I couldn't live with a man child like this, and I don't think you can, either. The frustration and resentment will start to eat you alive.

StoppinBy · 31/12/2018 22:18

I hate white bread, it's claggy and horrible BUT when ordering a sandwich if you forget to ask for grain you get white. I just eat it anyway even though I don't like it.

I would just pack an extra brown bread sandwich and take it.... as the saying goes, if he's hungry, he will eat it.

On the other hand, don't you have some sort of fruit/vegetables/cheese/sandwich meat etc that he could pack himself instead of the sandwich?

category12 · 31/12/2018 22:19

if it doesn't affect anyone else are the operative words - OP has said a couple of times her DH gets grumpy when he's hungry, so it does affect everyone else.

It'd be worth stopping into a garage tomorrow and him picking up a sandwich for himself if he's going to be a dick about it.

Gigglebrain · 31/12/2018 22:19

He’s an adult, if he doesn’t want brown bread, he doesn’t have to have brown bread. However, he should go and get some white bread in the morning before to go. Co-ops are open at 8a, so no excuse. If that’s not possible then yes, let him have some sausage rolls, as long as he replaces them before the party. Most shops will be open tomorrow, albeit with reduced hours. I wouldn’t eat brown bread either, it’s horrible.

StoppinBy · 31/12/2018 22:22

@Azul .... why should she make extra food for her DH?

He packed the lunches, he is an adult and could (oh, the horror!) make himself something else you know, with his own hands if he doesn't want the same as he made everyone else to eat for lunch.

2019rubberband · 31/12/2018 22:23

He packed the lunches, he is an adult and could (oh, the horror!) make himself something else you know, with his own hands

He isn't allowed to touch the other food. It's for a party.

mum11970 · 31/12/2018 22:23

Gees, just stop at a shop on your way out tomorrow and pick up a ruddy sausage roll.

mumsastudent · 31/12/2018 22:24

hard boil eggs if you have some & do you have any savoury biscuits in the cupboard? (I always keep oat cakes but if you have those white ones he might put up with them) &some small toms too & take some black pepper & salt

Oldbutstillgotit · 31/12/2018 22:27

I know it isn’t the point of the thread but am I the only one who is amazed at the number of MNs who live in the middle of nowhere ?

Bluntness100 · 31/12/2018 22:27

I don't particularly like brown bread. It's unreasonable to expect him to eat something he dislikes. However if he is grumpy then that's unreasonable. Explain to him he can eat what rhe hell he wants but if he is shitty to everyone because he's hungry then it's not acceptable, make him promise to behave and then remind him if he plays up, if he doesn't wind it in, then end the walk and leave him to it,

He's a big boy, he can eat as he pleases but he has to not punish others for his choices.

Sweetieepea · 31/12/2018 22:28

Op, you say you ”have many issues with this relationship.” Could it be that you are looking for reasons to complain about dh? Is this another way to make him out to be unreasonable, then you can justify how awful you are being to him? Give him some of the party food on condition HE replaces it by Thursday. Either that, or just give up on your relationship, only you know which way you wish to go?

sweeneytoddsrazor · 31/12/2018 22:31

He made the sandwiches. He isnt allowed to touch the other food.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 31/12/2018 22:34

And if you knew you only had brown bread which you know he doesn't like why didnt you tell him earlier to give him chance to get some today.

Yabbers · 31/12/2018 22:36

The kids will not miss a couple of sausage rolls. I guarantee you will have leftover food. That’s not why you aren’t allowing him to use it, you are being petty and spiteful because you think he should eat brown bread. Why wouldn’t you have picked something else up at the shop, that he could have instead of a sandwich? That seems short sighted.

TallulahBetty · 31/12/2018 22:41

Can't stand adult fussy eaters. Living with one would do my patch in. LTB