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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think he's being ridiculous?

81 replies

LittleAlbatross · 31/12/2018 21:38

DH is very, very fussy. Honestly it's like having a third child and annoying that he won't eat so many things.

We ran out of bread yesterday and I popped to the garage in the evening on the way home from a day out (only place open on a Sunday evening) and all they had left was brown bread. DH views brown bread as an implement of torture.

Tomorrow we are planning a family fell walk. I asked him to make some sandwiches this evening whilst I dealt with the kids. He's made everyone a sandwich except himself.

I asked him why and he said he didn't want one and would just eat "the other bits." The other bits being a packet of crisps.

I think he's hoping I'll dip into the party food I'm keeping for DDs birthday party in a few days time. Think sausage rolls etc. This is not happening.

I know I should just leave him to it but it just means that tomorrow he'll be grumpy when he gets hungry and he'll put a dampener on the day, like he so often does. AIBU to think he's being ridiculous and that brown bread is perfectly edible?

This probably seems petty but I have many issues with this relationship and just need to vent!

OP posts:
Bringbackthestrioes · 31/12/2018 22:41

He's the one that is choosing to go hungry
No, he is simply not wanting to force down something he doesn’t like.
If I had a choice between going hungry and eating steak tartare I would go hungry -but I wouldn’t be happy.
Do you have any cheese & crackers? Nuts/seeds? tuna &salad that could be made up? If not you need to stop on the way so he can get something he can eat.

arranbubonicplague · 31/12/2018 22:42

If you've got some flour in, can he not make himself a cheese scone to use as a sandwich tomorrow? Or even a very plain scone works as a bun substitute.

Or can he knock up a soda bread tomorrow to make sandwiches?

Hippywannabe · 31/12/2018 22:42

DH is high functioning but has ASD and will eat well but only food he likes. Brown bread is not on the list, he would go hungry rather than eat it. Yes, he probably would get a cob onnif I boughtbbrown bread knowing he doesn't like it.
Can't you stop on the way in the morning and grab a loaf or rolls and either you make something for him or he can make something himself in the car?

WhyDontYouComeOnOver · 31/12/2018 22:43

Why is he a man child for not liking something?

I'm not a fussy ester and will eat most things, but I can't stand brown bread.

YABU and very childish. Poor bloke.

Alpacanorange · 31/12/2018 22:43

You are bu. You know he is fussing, stop telling him what to eat and what he can’t eat.

Purpleartichoke · 31/12/2018 22:46

Sounds like my DH. I expect him to find his own solution in these situations. He often doesn’t and goes hungry. Your H could make himself some sandwich roll ups without bread. He could boil some eggs. He could grab a tin of tuna and some crackers. Basically, he could figure it out.

I do buy the things my H likes when I shop, just like he buys my preferred items as well. But sometimes things are sold out and with fussy eaters there can be few to no easy alternatives.

Augusta2012 · 31/12/2018 22:47

Would it seriously ruin DD’s party if he had a couple of sausage rolls?

LemonTT · 31/12/2018 22:47

Isn’t the food, family food. Surely he is entitled to eat it. Or 50% of it at least.

2019rubberband · 31/12/2018 22:48

If you've got some flour in, can he not make himself a cheese scone to use as a sandwich tomorrow? Or even a very plain scone works as a bun substitute.

Sounds a bit desperate Shock

Maybe OP should just 'let' him eat the other food.

Augusta2012 · 31/12/2018 22:52

Isn’t the food, family food. Surely he is entitled to eat it. Or 50% of it at least.

No, no, no. Don’t you know the Mumsnet rules?

Everything a man earns or owns belongs 50/50 to his wife and he should ask her permission for spending/using it.

Everything a women earns or owns is 100% hers, nobody else is entitled to an opinion on what she uses it for and it never goes into the family pot.

HTH.

Hazlenutpie · 31/12/2018 22:54

If brown bread was the only bread available, I would eat it even though I’m not keen. Your DH is an idiot.

BumbleBeee69 · 31/12/2018 23:01

Is he not able to go to a Shop himself ?

ShannonRockallMalin · 31/12/2018 23:06

OP, have you really not got any other food you can take apart from crisps? Any Christmas week leftovers? Even just cook some pasta and take it cold. Or soup in a flask?

TAMumof3 · 31/12/2018 23:06

One sandwich and a packet of crisps isn't enough for anyone going fell walking.
Would only take the weather to come in a bit sharp and you'd all be hungry and stranded.
Maybe ditch the walk and pop out somewhere else if you've no other food you will take.

VioletCharlotte · 31/12/2018 23:08

If he doesn't like brown bread then why should he eat it? I don't like white bread so I wouldn't eat that. Obviously, if money was really tight and there was nothing else to eat then I would, but doesn't sound like this is the case here. Surely if he eats the sausage rolls he can pop to the shop and buy some more?!

easyandy101 · 31/12/2018 23:09

I'd rather be hungry than eat brown bread

recklessruby · 31/12/2018 23:09

There will be a shop on the way somewhere. They all sell those nasty pre packed white bread sandwiches (I like Brown so never buy them).
No need for dh to sulk! Or starve.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 31/12/2018 23:09

The sausage rolls would be in the picnic basket here along with some fruit some eggs and a few other bits and pieces.

Original poster
LittleAlbatross · 31/12/2018 23:10

Ok I accept that I am being unreasonable and will open up the party food for him if he agrees to replace it on his way home from work on Wednesday. I'm just frustrated because I've had fifteen years of catering to his long list of dislikes that include, off the top of my head:

Rice
ANY vegetable that isn't carrots, peas, and cauliflower.
ANY fruit that isn't grapes or strawberries, unless it comes from a tin.
Yogurt
All breakfast cereal of any kind.
All fish unless battered / breaded
Anything with nuts in (no allergy, he just doesn't like them).
The aforementioned brown bread, or indeed any bread at all that isn't white sliced.

No SEN issues or anything like that. He was just raised on a very bland diet of processed food and refuses to eat things out of his comfort zone.

OP posts:
DarkDarkNight · 31/12/2018 23:11

How far are you walking? I couldn’t get up a fell and back on a sandwich and packet of crisps.

There are garages and convenience places open most places. He can buy a white bread sandwich. He’s allowed not to like something.

onemorego2019 · 31/12/2018 23:14

My husband has a saying 'brown bread makes you dead' 😂😂 he will not eat at all costs 😂

TacoLover · 31/12/2018 23:15

He's an adult, he should be able to not eat brown bread if he doesn't want to. Why would he force himself?

Gitfeatures · 31/12/2018 23:16

You're all happy to go fell walking, but can't manage a trip to Tesco?

He doesn't want bloody brown bread but the sausage rolls are sacrasant because they'll be needed for 2 days time. He says he's fine without, but you've decided he won't be. Are you planning to survive on brown bread until Thursday given that purchasing other food seems to be an impossibility?

That's going to be an enjoyable New Years day.

MissionItsPossible · 31/12/2018 23:18

This probably seems petty but I have many issues with this relationship and just need to vent!

I think this is the most important part of your post, not that he doesn't like brown bread. Baked beans are perfectly edible but they make me feel sick and even the smell of them repulse me and I try not to sit next to anyone if they are eating them. If he refused to touch the bread or make any of you any sandwiches then I'd say he was acting like a spoiled child but he did and if he wants to only eat crisps then let him eat crisps. If he gets hungry he can buy himself something if he finds anywhere open. As long as you and your children can eat then that's all that matters.

saoirse31 · 31/12/2018 23:20

Do you actually like him op? Doesn't sound like you do.