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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think he's being ridiculous?

81 replies

LittleAlbatross · 31/12/2018 21:38

DH is very, very fussy. Honestly it's like having a third child and annoying that he won't eat so many things.

We ran out of bread yesterday and I popped to the garage in the evening on the way home from a day out (only place open on a Sunday evening) and all they had left was brown bread. DH views brown bread as an implement of torture.

Tomorrow we are planning a family fell walk. I asked him to make some sandwiches this evening whilst I dealt with the kids. He's made everyone a sandwich except himself.

I asked him why and he said he didn't want one and would just eat "the other bits." The other bits being a packet of crisps.

I think he's hoping I'll dip into the party food I'm keeping for DDs birthday party in a few days time. Think sausage rolls etc. This is not happening.

I know I should just leave him to it but it just means that tomorrow he'll be grumpy when he gets hungry and he'll put a dampener on the day, like he so often does. AIBU to think he's being ridiculous and that brown bread is perfectly edible?

This probably seems petty but I have many issues with this relationship and just need to vent!

OP posts:
Justaboy · 31/12/2018 23:22

LIke most faddy children he'll eat when he's really hungry;!

Why do women put up with man children like this?..

StoppinBy · 31/12/2018 23:35

@rubberband - No, actually he isn't allowed to touch the party food, surely there is other food in the house apart from brown bread, chips and party food, don't you think?

PerverseConverse · 31/12/2018 23:36

OP this is not your problem to resolve, it's his. He doesn't like what's available then he needs to get a grip and go and buy himself something he does like. Don't pander to him. And shame on those telling OP to essentially be a good little wife and cater to his fussiness. He's an adult ffs, not her child. She's not responsible for him, he's responsible for himself. This is why we have so many manchilds!

thebaronetofcockburn · 31/12/2018 23:37

Sounds like my DH. I expect him to find his own solution in these situations. He often doesn’t and goes hungry. Your H could make himself some sandwich roll ups without bread. He could boil some eggs. He could grab a tin of tuna and some crackers. Basically, he could figure it out.

This.

I wouldn't have given this a second thought. 'There was only brown bread in there. You'll need to find something else to eat that isn't the party food' and leave him to it.

OyOy · 31/12/2018 23:38

In some respects, I'm a "fussy" eater.

I'd love not to be, really would.

But there are some foods I can't eat - even if I am really really hungry.

It genuinely upsets me.

Purplecatshopaholic · 31/12/2018 23:43

Surely the party food is family food - a couple of sausage rolls wont go amiss! If I was him I would dip into that stash and think no more about it!

2019rubberband · 31/12/2018 23:45

No, actually he isn't allowed to touch the party food, surely there is other food in the house apart from brown bread, chips and party food, don't you think?

You would assume so, yes. However OP made it sound as if it was a choice between brown bread or nothing.

Troels · 31/12/2018 23:51

I'm amazed all you have in is a loaf of brown bread and some party food.
Can't he hard boil some eggs and pack some cheese and crackers, or ham. I'd just use some sausage rolls and have him get more on the 2nd.
Dd has her birthday on thursday I haven't even shopped for it yet. Asda and Tesco are pretty much 24 hours once the 1st is over and done with.
Stop trying to make him like what you like. Just accept him for whho he is, he doesn't like brown bread, big whoop!

sobeyondthehills · 31/12/2018 23:52

Can't stand adult fussy eaters. Living with one would do my patch in. LTB

I fucking hate brown bread with a passion, yet have eaten a few "unusual" foods to say LTB is fucking stupid without the rest of the back story

Fairylea · 31/12/2018 23:57

I wouldn’t want to eat a brown bread sandwich out on a cold walk either. But i would just literally eat the crisps and have something bigger when I got home later, I wouldn’t expect anything else just for me because I was being funny about it.

ILoveChristmasLights · 31/12/2018 23:58

Have you counted out all the food each child is allowed at the party?

If you can’t spare your DH a lunch out of the party food, you haven’t got enough party food.

The simplest option would have been to buy something your would eat when you bought the bread, but you chose not to. I really can’t fathom that.

I’d say it’s really clear you’re done with your marriage

LagunaBubbles · 31/12/2018 23:59

Can't stand adult fussy eaters

So it's "fussy" according to some people to have likes and dislikes with food then eh. Hmm

HeebieJeebies456 · 01/01/2019 00:01

No SEN issues or anything like that. He was just raised on a very bland diet of processed food and refuses to eat things out of his comfort zone

So you tolerate your ds being fussy due to suspected sensory issues?
Well you do know that if he does have sensory issues then he's inherited that from one of his parents - most likely his dad?

Anyway, he's old enough to sort out his own food and do his share regards ordering groceries etc so i don't get why you've been mothering him all these years.

Inertia · 01/01/2019 00:03

He needs to find something else to eat that isn’t the party food.

PeapodBurgundy · 01/01/2019 00:20

I see where you're coming from OP. He could have made himself something different to take, even if it's something a bit unusual. For those saying 'but he's not allowed to touch the party food', I highly doubt the OP only had party food and a loaf of brown bread on her house. Hmm No issues with him not eating the brown bread, but many with him refusing anything else, then sulking about it.
The OP has got organised in advance for the party, why should she have to coordinate replacements for food she's already purchased at the last minute when she'll be pushed for time on account of the visit?

RebelWitchFace · 01/01/2019 00:32

I'm really fussy, I cater for myself and I do most of the cooking so it's not an issue for anyone else.

But it's not the bread or the fussiness that is the issue is it? It's the fact that you're fed up with it all, and if it's all left to you to sort out I don't blame you.

I hate brown bread.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 01/01/2019 00:42

How is it all left up to the OP . She clearly days her DH made the sandwiches

MysweetAudrina · 01/01/2019 00:54

I can't believe the number of posters who hate brown bread. I can't think of any bread that I wouldn't eat.

masterandmargarita · 01/01/2019 00:55

Brown bread, white bread, it's all bread. The guy is being a bit of a cock.

Bababoo13 · 01/01/2019 01:08

Dh calls me fussy - I’m not someone who eats anything but in not fussy by some people’s standards But I’m not great with cold food - Punic food is my idea of hell. Dh in the other hand says he’s not fussy is mega fussy and it’s a pain in the arse - he will literally shake up jars of sauce to check there are no onions in them and he’s rubbish eating fruit because he doesn’t like the texture

azulmariposa · 01/01/2019 23:14

@StoppinBy I meant the fact that the OP wouldn't let him have a sausage roll (or whatever it was) that is meant to be party food for a few days later. It seems as if the poor bloke can't have food unless the OP will allow him to have it! Confused

RebelWitchFace · 02/01/2019 00:31

@azulmariposa he's a grown man. He can make something else, order some kind of takeaway, take his grown man ass to the shops either then and there or the next morning,promise to do a food shop or order one in to replace things in time for the party. He's not a poor starving child with mum keeping the keys of the fridge lock just out of his reach.

mrsm43s · 03/01/2019 11:54

I have little tolerance for fussy eaters.

However, when going shopping to buy provisions for a meal to take on a day out, it is pretty spiteful to buy only something that you know one member of the family doesn't like and won't eat. I understand that they didn't have white bread, but surely you could have picked up a sausage roll or some crackers or some wraps or buns or something, so that he could also have a main part to his meal. Instead, you have decided to give him only the option of eating something you know he doesn't like.

I think you have big problems in your marriage. However much my DH's annoying habits piss me off, I never feel the urge to deliberately make things difficult for him.

hellhavenofury · 03/01/2019 12:02

Everyone to their own but I love some of the replies like 'your marriage is over' - Come on MN - Its a loaf of bread!!

baddayattheoffice · 03/01/2019 12:03

Fussy eaters are a pain in the arse.

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