I won't get any New Year good wishes or texts. Anyone the same?

[GonetoseedoverXmas]

Me and DP will go for dinner and have a lovely time together, I am lucky. My best mate is great too, we hardly see each other as live faraway but were close in that I could always call her if I needed to, as she could me, and we have a lot of laughs and fun when we catch up.

But the silence over the holidays is deafening in terms of others I thought were friends but really are acquaintances I think. I had one text off my mum on Christmas Day, and she couldn't answer the phone when I called. One friend sent a Xmas gif. I sent a few merry Christmases myself and those friend did reply - but nobody thinks of me first. They're nice people it's just I'm not important to anyone.

I just feel quite low when I think how I'm not important to anyone. I don't know what it is.

Anyone in the same boat?

I am OP. It is crappy. The worst times we’re before DP and I literally wouldn’t hear off a soul.

We’re watching films with a few drinks. DP has spoken to his parents.

I’m sorry for you.

Eh? There's at least 4 people you mention in your post as having exchanged good wishes with not including the ones who replied after you messaged them first. Is there any particular reason why you're feeling hard done by that you're deflecting onto this?

I hate all that texting and Wattsapping etc at Xmas and new year. I've already had two new year messages and it's not until tomorrow!

So sorry you're feeling like this OP. but I'll be honest, I'm quite bad at texting people at New Year. I very rarely go out and do anything, just spend the night in with my husband, so unless I come across anyone I wouldn't really go out of my way to contact friends. I might just put a status on social media or something.

Also, if someone text me I would reply, but I wouldn't go out of my way to celebrate NYE. It's a bit of a non-event to me x

I think my mum not being bothered if she hears from me or not hurts most tbh.

Makes me more sensitive to slightly shit bits of other friendships, where i feel it's left to me to do the running and if I don't - I hear nothing from them.

I don't text anyone but my parents at Christmas or New Years... maybe my sister. I don't have time to text all my friends good wishes, I'll tell them if I see them.

Me too probably. I am finding life quite hard at the mo and have cut myself off a bit to try and cope, so it is partly my fault. My family is technically big but we don't really get together as an extended family and my immediate family is small and not close. DH's brother is pretty much AWOL and his parents are the only other family he has. They keep themselves to themselves and don't have many friends either. Christmas and NY definitely emphasises the feelings if you are a bit lonely. I have found it exceptionally hard, I normally adore it all but I think that has changed. I might get one text off my Mum but that will be it I think.

Take care to anyone feeling a bit lonely

No, I wouldn't text anyone again tonight anyway because I've done my Christmas one, getting in touch with good wishes at this time of year. It just is clear when nobody is getting in touch with you.

Sending un mumsnetty hugs to anyone else feeling a bit lonely or otherwise unhappy. It can be rough.

I think most people we call friends are really acquaintances or relationships of convenience. Don't worry about it. Just enjoy your time with DP.

I have no DP and the only people who will wish me happy new year is my children who live in the house with me. If they remember

I am the same op - lucky to have gorgeous kids and a fab DH who is my best friend but no actual friends which has become really apparent this year. 2019 I am going to try and change this - happy new year to you

Yes, happy new year to you too! And all posters who are a little down.

I think friendships as an adult can be quite complex.

Happy new year from me!

Me too, I won't receive any texts etc (but at the same time I won't send any). I understand what you mean - I too feel the lonelyness of nobody messaging to say happy new year. I've had the flu since boxing day, my poor husband has been fab and looked after me and our children, but other than him it feels like nobody else genuinely cares. Happy new year to anyone feeling lonely tonight

Honestly, I’m sorry you’re feeling lonely, but I wouldn’t use Christmas/NYE texts as a measure of friendship. I never send any.

I'm the opposite of you OP. Getting lots of messages from friends but would prefer to spend this time of year with loved ones; it sucks being by yourself at Christmas/New Year.

It's not using the texts as a measure of friendship. That's what I was trying to get at by describing my friendship with best mate - because the friendship is good and maintained by us both, it doesn't matter about any texts or messages.

It's just that it can highlight a noticeable lack of quality friendships or relationships. Like with my mum, I think she prob does love me but the relationship is strained and has problems. I'm hurt by her not caring that she hasn't spoken to me over Christmas or new year - I just am. It will be the same on my birthday and it hurts then too.

The rest of the time, it stings less.

With regards to friendships, not family, a lack of messages can make you realise how you're not somebody others are thinking of in general - you're not the one being invited for coffees or drinks. Etc. Despite people seeking to enjoy spending time with you sometimes when you ask them. It's confusing.

@gonetoseedoverXmas sending you a huge unmumsnet hug and hope 2019 will be a excellent year for you.

Most people dont text anyway, just standard post on social media! I had 2 christmas texts this year!

I am the same OP. I have a wonderful DP but only one friend and I wouldn't class her as someone I could turn to in a crisis.

I won't get any happy new year messages off anyone except my mum, I imagine.

Happy New Year btw

I hear you. I don’t bother sending texts out now as few people return the favour. Friendship is a two way street and sometimes it’s just not worth the effort. I’m happy with my little clan. Not worth getting upset over though. Everyone is an arse. Including me.
Happy new year. I hate New Year’s Eve.

Thanks all for the kind thoughts

I’ve got a few acquaintances I’ve made through baby groups and I see how they all have really good friendships with people they were at school with and I feel a bit sad that I don’t have that. It’s hard to make friends as an adult.