To feel really upset by this Facebook comment

[Kourt14]

I'm 24 and currently 11 weeks pregnant with my first. Haven't announced yet as it's still early.

My sister in law (DH unmarried sister, so shares same surname as me) is pregnant and has announced on Facebook last week at 20 weeks. I put a little status up this morning just to say so excited they'll be another little baby surname to love in 2019, and how happy I was to have a little niece or nephew on the way.

One of my old college friends commented saying "Jesus fucking Christ I thought you were going to say you are pregnant. Don't do that to me!" It got 23 likes which seemed bizarre, lots of other old college friends (who I don't spend time with anymore and aren't as settled as me) all started commenting. There's now 15 comments from people saying "Oh thank god, I thought you were saying you were pregnant!" "You gave me a heart attack" "Another one who had a panic attack then, thank god you said niece!"

I'm really upset. I'm not far off it announcing it to my friends and family and this is the reaction? What's wrong with me being pregnant? Yes all my old friends are in a very different place, single, going out all the time.. but I'm married? We own a house? I have all but lost touch with them all, haven't spoken directly or hung out in years just wish happy birthday on Facebook etc, I just find it really odd and hurtful.

It might be hormones and fully ok with being told I'm over reacting but I've had a right cry over it

Again don't see anything wrong with sharing a very happy status and adding a little comment saying how happy and excited I am

You're right, there's nothing wrong with it. You asked if you were wrong to be "really upset" by it, and most people are telling you that yes, you are wrong to feel that way.

The lesson to be learned is that if you share information with people you don't know very well, you may receive some unexpected responses. Either accept that, or don't share so much with so many people.

Only on Mumsnet will people shit on you for celebrating your families good news. Must lead miserable lives if it bothers you so much for a family to share lovely news and express happiness over it, as every close family member shared the status saying good news.

But they don't know OP. I don't think the reactions sound negative. It's always a big surprise when a pregnancy is announced. They basically went "What? Wow" then "Oh thought that was you for a minute." You are over thinking. Hormones?

Congrats! I was five weeks shy of 25 when I gave birth to my first. My mum was married and was 28 when I was born, it's only a few years difference. You're married AND own a house. I'm 36 now and only bought a flat two weeks ago. You're doing great. They're arseholes to be so judgemental and rude. I'm so sorry. X

@IAmAlwaysLikeThis People are criticising me and saying I'm unreasonable for sharing the post. What I asked was am I being unreasonable for getting upset about people reacting negatively to the idea of me being pregnant when I am secretly pregnant. For people to start going on and on about the fact I shared a post being happy for my family member and ignoring the point of my post is infuriating. Pregnancy hormones are high and it's not nice to get piled on for something that has no relevance to why I am actually upset

It might be hormones and fully ok with being told I'm over reacting

You were right the first time OP.

People - youngish people - often say things like that. It is of course totally insensitive but meant to be taken lightly. In time they will cringe to remember they ever made such comments.

I'm sure you have other people in your life who are or will be delighted for you.

Congratulations by the way, Kourt14, let us know how things progress.

@greenpop21 Pretty sure saying oh thank god it's not yours is negative. Saying I gave them a heart attack and 'what a relief' it isn't me is negative.

The thing with AIBU OP is people are trying to point out why the misunderstanding happened. You are refusing to listen. Never a good idea to start an AIBU if A/ you are feeling fragile and B/not open to accepting you might be wrong.

In your position OP, I would really be looking forward to making my announcement and see how many of those people squirm!
Some will contradict themselves....and I would happily delete them from my friends list.

Also, texts and comment always sound harsh and blunt and even rude because you can't detect the tone.

AIBU is not a place for upset/hormonal OPs.

Anyway this thread is just upsetting me now SIL has had a rough time and this is really great news for her and we were all celebrating it and having so many people tell me how weird I am and how I'm trying to steal her attention is just making an already pissed off pregnant lady even more pissed off. Not commenting anymore. Thanks to those who gave genuine advice about what actually upset me and what the thread was actually about.

@IAmAlwaysLikeThis If you have nothing nice to say please fuck off

I agree and I know this from experience. Don't let barely considered comments on social media spoil your baby joy and excitement and seriously consider deleting FB.

I'd read it as those in their mid 20s wanting to cling to their youth status as long as possible too.

I don't think I'd take it personally, but I'd definitely say "please make sure you have the defibrillators ready" and then tag them in on your own announcement, but then again I think I'm funny like that.

Wow uh...speak for yourself OP, no?

Ah sorry, totally misread your post on what you’d put on Facebook. Like others, I still think they’re just making a point of you all clinging to your youth for as long as possible. But I’ll slink off to get my life now 🤷‍♀️

OP you should have said at the begining you only wanted people to post who agreed with you!

Your posts are ruder than those criticising you.

I mean this as nicely as possible. But is it possible they remember you for having childish strops?

Because that's how you are coming across.

Look people make daft jokes or say things they shouldn't. I don't think this is that upsetting. Loads of people were shocked when I got pregnant to my husband at 21. And what? I totally got it. They are entitled to their own reactions and I am entitled to ignore them.

So sorry you are getting as hard time op. I’m not surprised you were upset. I would probably try to ignore it. They will all feel terrible when they find out you are expecting too

It is simply a misunderstanding.
think about it, if you werent pregnant would you find it upsetting?
there is actually nothing to be upset about - see it from their point of view, your sharing of the scan picture would at first glance look very much like sharing of the scan picture of your Own Baby. and the joke was, no, it isnt your own!

If you have nothing nice to say please fuck off

Oh the irony.

And you can bet when you do announce it, they will ALL be happy for you, panic attack statuses or not!

Charmer. FWIW I would be horrified if one of my same aged friends announced they were pregnant on fb, and would definately be glad it wasn't me, and i'm 44.as an aside, sharing your own scan picture on fb is imo cringeworthy, sharing someone else's scan is bloody weird, and i imagine the person whose scan it was would be right to be pissed off.