To feel really upset by this Facebook comment

[Kourt14]

I'm 24 and currently 11 weeks pregnant with my first. Haven't announced yet as it's still early.

My sister in law (DH unmarried sister, so shares same surname as me) is pregnant and has announced on Facebook last week at 20 weeks. I put a little status up this morning just to say so excited they'll be another little baby surname to love in 2019, and how happy I was to have a little niece or nephew on the way.

One of my old college friends commented saying "Jesus fucking Christ I thought you were going to say you are pregnant. Don't do that to me!" It got 23 likes which seemed bizarre, lots of other old college friends (who I don't spend time with anymore and aren't as settled as me) all started commenting. There's now 15 comments from people saying "Oh thank god, I thought you were saying you were pregnant!" "You gave me a heart attack" "Another one who had a panic attack then, thank god you said niece!"

I'm really upset. I'm not far off it announcing it to my friends and family and this is the reaction? What's wrong with me being pregnant? Yes all my old friends are in a very different place, single, going out all the time.. but I'm married? We own a house? I have all but lost touch with them all, haven't spoken directly or hung out in years just wish happy birthday on Facebook etc, I just find it really odd and hurtful.

It might be hormones and fully ok with being told I'm over reacting but I've had a right cry over it

They first read it thinking it was you then realised it was a niece then they made the comments.
As in oh we made a mistake we thought it was you.
This is a prime example of why fb is a bad idea it just gets people unnecessarily upset. Just delete fb then tell people face to face when your ready

Congratulations OP!

People can be right tits on Facebook I would ignore it. When I told people I was pregnant I had similar but it was more of "oh God were old enough to have babies" sort of thing? If that makes any sense, they werent ready to "give up" their social lives and couldn't imagine me doing it either.

Also, will be a little bit funny when you do announce it and they are squirming

Congratulations! I'm 11 weeks too. Don't have Facebook though.

DH is your age and I think he'll be announcing on his FB. We got married in August though and I already have children, so anyone who is shocked to hear that I'm pregnant is probably a little thick...

Congratulations. Announcing your first pregnancy is big news so I think they just mean that they were about to be really surprised and hopefully happy for you but then realised their error.
Think of something smart to post when you do announce.

personally I hate people posting things like that when it's not about them.

There's a thread atm about 'grief thieves' and I think you could come under the opposite 'celebration thief'

So I think that's why they are commenting as they are. Your status was wierd.

Agree- delete FB, best thing I ever did. Set up Whatsapp groups with people you are actually in the lives of.

Is a bit weird to put it on your status though, wouldn't you just comment on your sister's post announcing her pregnancy?

Congratulations on your pregnancy and best of luck with it.

If these people are from your past they likely know a different side of you than current friends. For example, recently a college friend we knew 5 years ago announced her pregnancy. My initial reaction was horror and surprise. This woman used to outright say awful things about children generally, act horrified that we had 3, and once suggested we could leave our baby in her bathroom and her pet python could look after it. Unsurprisingly, i don't associate her with any maternal instincts whatsoever. I managed to avoid commenting like this on her posts though. She seems to be perfectly content in mother mode now, albeit a little shocked at the lack of sleep and loss of personal time. She is clearly very different than the person we knew 5 years ago.

I still feel the hot blush of shame when I remember blurting out to a work colleague in their 20s "OMG was it an accident?" when she announced she was pregnant.

I was just so surprised she was having a baby so young and right in the middle of her career rise (she was an absolute star at work), but the look on her face made me a lot more careful about my personal judgements from then on when people announced their special news.

Going bright red thinking about it. I bet your friends will feel the same when they find out.

And to add this was 20 years ago and it's still burned into my memory!

Your friends sound like a bunch of immature twits! Why do they all need to jump on the bandwagon like that?

It’s because of your age. Don’t take it personally. Also you were maybe inviting comment by making it into a thing instead of just clicking “like”.
When my dh and I were expecting our first, he was the first among his friends to have a child - the next to have a baby had one five years later —and they all made a similar big deal out of it, some of them were bordering on nasty but they were the ones who had issues with having children full stop

Just have fun watching them backtrack when you do announce it

Firstly congratulations

Secondly take smug satisfaction in how shit they’ll all feel when you do announce it.

Karma

Has no one noticed what the OP actually posted on Facebook?

So excited for another baby Surname to love next year, Congratulations name and name. So happy for another niece or nephew to be on the way
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Surprise! Not mine!

They’re all jumping on your own joke ... 👆

Hormones! They’ll be delighted, if cringing a bit at what they posted, when you announce!

Congratulations x :)

I agree with PP that they are just joining in with your status. You kind of set it up? But I sympathise about people being funny about others taking what they consider to be ‘grown up’ steps ahead of their peer group.

Once in my 20s some friends of friends were having a conversation about ‘anicent’ It made them feel that someone they knew had actually gotten pregnant ‘on purpose!’ They were incredulous. I had a 3 year old and baby at the time!

@FineIsAChanceThing That's not what I posted on Facebook at all? I posted the first part of what you said and then later in my comment wrote "it's all one sentence. It's hardly like I've skipped 8 lines and then added surprise! Not mine!" You literally edited my comment completely out of context to try and make me look bad. You realise people can see that right? Get a life

Again don't see anything wrong with sharing a very happy status and adding a little comment saying how happy and excited I am. It was her scan picture, and her post. I literally shared it. If people can share funny photos and meaningless things then you cannot judge somebody for sharing a post of some very happy news. God what's wrong with this website!

Thanks to those who actually gave helpful answers.

If you shared the scan picture then even more reason people would think it was your announcement at first glance.
Either people are going along with your ‘joke’ or they are genuinely aghast at the possibility you might have a child. Not sure why you’re so keen to believe it’s the latter unless there’s some reason you’re not telling us that your friends would think you’d be an unfit mother?

It's because you put it on your status. Usually, your status is literally that-yours, not someone else's. If you'd just commented on your sister's post, this wouldn't have happened but it has, people misunderstood, that's all.

@FuckingYuleLog I shared her post. It had her picture. Her status announcing her pregnancy. I shared it. Honestly can people read before criticising. It's very obviously not my pregnancy when its a SHARE of someone else's statuses clearly stating their name and that it's their status that they have written. Honestly!!!

Also the problem isn't that the status was misleading, it wasn't if anyone actually saw it and understands how sharing something works my issue was the negative reaction to people thinking I'm pregnant when I am secretly pregnant.

OP: AIBU?

Replies: YABU

OP: how dare you?