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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that children shouldnt be allowed to run riot in restaurants/pubs/cafes?

74 replies

ManicUnicorn · 30/12/2018 15:42

Ive just come back from Sunday lunch, which was spoiled by a family allowing their three kids, including a young toddler, to run riot in the restaurant. I dont mind kids being in restaurants at all, in fact I think its good for them to get used to eating out as a family from a young age. What I dont like is parents letting them spoil everyone elses experience, which is what was going on here.

When we got there they were all sat at the table watching their own indvidual ipads. No headphones and full volume, so everyone could hear it all word for word. They quickly got bored with that though and were basically allowed to do what they wanted to for the next hour. The toddler was lifted out of the high chair and ran riot around the whole place, at one point she had to be stopped from entering the kitchen, and another diner had to stop her from walking into a table corner. Waiting staff alsohad to step over them whilst carrying hot food.

Parents did fuck all and just sat there guzzling wine. Then they told them all to go outside and they were running around in the car park unsupervised before coming back in and all dancing around in the main bar area. The toddler then darted back outside and the parents shouted at the eldest for not keeping an eye on her.For perspective eldest must have only been about eight.

Ive never seen anything like it and I think everyone finally breathed a sigh of relief when they all left. If we'd have behaved like this in a restaurant when were kids my parents would have kicked our backsides into next week. I get thats not acceptable anymore, but there are plenty of child friendly places where you can take them and then let them out to play safely when they are bored.

AIBU to think they should stick to McDonalds in future?

OP posts:
LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 30/12/2018 15:44

We went out for lunch and were sat next to a table with a family of 2 adults and their nine kids (oldest about 13). They were absolutely amazing and the kids were a delight.

Can’t stand it when parents allow their kids to run or expect staff to nanny them.

Andro · 30/12/2018 15:45

I'm not sure I'd even wish them on McDonald's!

YANBU and the parents of those children are not only letting their children behave inappropriately, they're also allowing them to behave dangerously.

LostInShoebiz · 30/12/2018 15:46

No, because that would spoil McDonald’s for those of us nursing hangovers there.

If they want to play they should go to a play centre or stay at home.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 30/12/2018 15:47

It’s like mumsnet bingo on here today

sheepwithoneear · 30/12/2018 15:49

Couldn’t agree more you are very definitely NBU - I have 5 children we eat out quite a bit never would I allow this behaviour.
We bring tablets and headphones for when there is a long wait when it’s busy but mostly we talk with them - have a conversation.
I feel so sorry for the wait staff who have to manoeuvre around them, usually while the selfish parents either ignore their children or sit smugly delighted as their angels dance around , shriek etc. And think we are all as enchanted.

ShalomJackie · 30/12/2018 15:49

And what did the manager do when you asked them to have a word?

MaisyPops · 30/12/2018 15:51

It's fairly obvious that people should behave with consideration to others. Sadly, some people show zero consideration to others.
Really I'm just waiting for someone will turn up and say you're unreasonable because they're just being kids, maybe they had special needs, your children should be perfect before you dare have an opinion on obviously rude behaviour and if you wanted silence then you should go to a library.

ChocOrCheese · 30/12/2018 15:51

Hateful. If the parents are making an effort to keep things under control then I can just about cope. When they are doing sod all it winds me up massively. And then there are the groups where the adults are making massive amounts of noise to "entertain" the children, prompting the children to scream and shout (apart from finding that infuriating I also feel sorry for the children who are constantly told "shh" when they are only emulating the adults).

Badadadum · 30/12/2018 15:51

No don't want to be anywhere near a family like this but unfortunately quite a few years ago we went out with friends to Carluccio's - her 4 kids ran around like this while I gave mine the hard stare to let them know that normal rules still applied and they were to remain on their seats at the table....never again, I was really embarrassed - but I had no idea her kids were so feral!

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 30/12/2018 15:52

Try being on a 11 hour flight with 2 sets of parents with several kids. Especially when the parents knock back a few drinks, slap on the eyemasks and ignore their very lively offspring who run around and around the plane yelling their heads off.

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 30/12/2018 15:53

We weren’t with the other parents just sat across the aisle.

Jazzhan · 30/12/2018 15:55

Oh God, I had similar delinquents in a GP surgery a couple of weeks ago. I was in excruciating pain and YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH from two kids was more than I could tolerate.
Mercifully, the receptionist came out and asked the parents to get the children to sit down 'There are doctors trying to conduct surgery here'.

Unbelievably, they managed to sit their arses down and keep their mouths shut.

Chuffingchuff · 30/12/2018 15:56

This is why we dont eat out at the moment. Our 2 year old DD just will not stay sat at the table and isn't interested in any sort of entertainment. So we stay home.

Aridane · 30/12/2018 15:59

Tempted to say YABU for the sheer hell of it... Grin

Jazzhan · 30/12/2018 15:59

ChuffingChuff. Thank you.

Nobody wants to have kids running riot. So until you've learned to control her, I thank you for keeping her at home.

DinoGreen · 30/12/2018 16:00

Ugh, this was me out yesterday. I have one DC aged 2 nearly 3 who sits happily in a high chair doing whatever quiet activities I have brought to keep him occupied - books, colouring, stickers etc. At the table next to us was two sets of parents who only had one child each, both toddlers, and they ran riot the whole time we were there, the younger one literally screaming/screeching constantly. The parents either ignored them or just smiled fondly at their devil children. It was appalling and I don’t understand why so many parents seem to think it’s ok.

AlwaysDancing1234 · 30/12/2018 16:01

I think that family might have been my BIL and SIL!!!
We won’t for a meal with then at their favourite restaurant last summer - kids behaved appallingly and parents did nothing.
A few stern words from me and DH and oh look the kids can sit nicely and eat without running about and fighting! SIL didn’t speak to us for a month but restaurant staff actually discreetly thanked me and DH on our way out as they said the kids always behave badly!

Original poster
ManicUnicorn · 30/12/2018 16:02

Shalom why should I have to ask the managers to have a word? The managers shouldnt even have to have word, its down the parents to control their kids.

And what the hell is 'mumsnet bingo'?

OP posts:
WhoTookTheChristmasCookie · 30/12/2018 16:04

@Jazzhan 'control her' is a bit of an odd phrase. She's 2.

ShalomJackie · 30/12/2018 16:06

Well the parents clearly weren't dealing with it. In such circumstamces I, as a paying customer, would have asked the manager what they intended to do about the disruptive behaviour of other customers that was affecting my experience as their customer.

As the manager they could ask them to behave or leave! As another customer I would not be in that position.

Jazzhan · 30/12/2018 16:06

It's just pure and utter lazy parenting. 'Ah, look at my precious, isn't she spirited'. No, she's a kid without boundaries madam. And I'll show you spirited if you don't shut them up and sit them the fuck down.

Jazzhan · 30/12/2018 16:07

If you can't control a 2 year old, please, continue not to subject the general public to her and you.

TheBigBangRocks · 30/12/2018 16:08

I don't think children should be allowed in pubs at all. It's not a place they should be.

I've had many meals out spoilt by parents not controlling their children. They don't seem to care as long as they themselves are enjoying their own meal/drinks.

It's not hard, if children can't behave in place she like this don't take them.

Original poster
ManicUnicorn · 30/12/2018 16:11

It was the running around the car park I couldnt get my head around! The parents were sitting on the opposite side of the restaurant and couldnt see them, car park is small and cars usually have to manouver to get in and out. One of them could so easily have been knocked over. They didnt even get up to see where they were.

They were part of a large group out for a celebration, and there were other children sat with them who behaved impeciably.

OP posts:
Jazzhan · 30/12/2018 16:14

Ah but you see, getting them to sit on their arses is 'controlling their spirited nature'. Bollocks to that.
My old childminder had 6 very wild children. They had a large back garden and were involved in all sorts of sports. However, when out, it was 'BUMS ON SEATS'. And 'INDOOR VOICES'. 'NOT EVERYBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOU ALL, SO EAT YOUR DINNER AND MIND YOUR MANNERS'.

She had SIX CHILDREN. And she managed to 'control' them so that they were not annoying the general populace.