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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that children shouldnt be allowed to run riot in restaurants/pubs/cafes?

74 replies

ManicUnicorn · 30/12/2018 15:42

Ive just come back from Sunday lunch, which was spoiled by a family allowing their three kids, including a young toddler, to run riot in the restaurant. I dont mind kids being in restaurants at all, in fact I think its good for them to get used to eating out as a family from a young age. What I dont like is parents letting them spoil everyone elses experience, which is what was going on here.

When we got there they were all sat at the table watching their own indvidual ipads. No headphones and full volume, so everyone could hear it all word for word. They quickly got bored with that though and were basically allowed to do what they wanted to for the next hour. The toddler was lifted out of the high chair and ran riot around the whole place, at one point she had to be stopped from entering the kitchen, and another diner had to stop her from walking into a table corner. Waiting staff alsohad to step over them whilst carrying hot food.

Parents did fuck all and just sat there guzzling wine. Then they told them all to go outside and they were running around in the car park unsupervised before coming back in and all dancing around in the main bar area. The toddler then darted back outside and the parents shouted at the eldest for not keeping an eye on her.For perspective eldest must have only been about eight.

Ive never seen anything like it and I think everyone finally breathed a sigh of relief when they all left. If we'd have behaved like this in a restaurant when were kids my parents would have kicked our backsides into next week. I get thats not acceptable anymore, but there are plenty of child friendly places where you can take them and then let them out to play safely when they are bored.

AIBU to think they should stick to McDonalds in future?

OP posts:

JustABetterPlayer · 30/12/2018 19:51

To the op I agree. A lot of restaurants will have a ‘well behaved children welcome’ sign unfortunately the ‘kids will be kids’ twa.... parents don’t seem to understand the concept.

2019yet · 30/12/2018 20:03

OP you are so not BU. Mine are no angels and yes I've had to take them out before, but diner is diner and it is for eating, not running around into danger... the bloody entitled brigade who let their kids run riot are a nightmare for everyone in a restaurant.

The playing in the car park wtf is wrong with some people, seriously some parents see nothing wrong with kids playing a carpark- head in hands, there are some right plonkers about.

londonmummy1966 · 30/12/2018 20:25

It really annoys me too OP. Were out at a celebration lunch at a West End members club and a family there allowed their 3 children to run riot around the dining room. It is so unfair on the poor waiting staff who have to try and dodge them when serving and you can bet the parents would have blamed them for not taking care if their little darling got hurt. My teenagers were almost open mouthed - having never been able to misbehave like this and the four impeccably behaved (and dressed) children of the French family at the table next to us were equally amazed.

There are ages when it is difficult to take children out - that is what the children's activity sheets in Pizza Express etc are for. Otherwise, if the weather is nice find a family pub and sit in the pub garden where your children can walk around/ use the play equipment until their food arrives. (And no pudding for children who can't behave..)

Badadadum · 30/12/2018 20:32

@KimchiLaLa You can let her know what you expect of her - if she fails to comply let her know that you will all leave and that will probably before the pudding arrives. If you can't do this wait a while before you take her out to a communal eating environment - it's not compulsory to eat out.

Badadadum · 30/12/2018 20:33

@KimchiLaLa - I started this message of behave or we go home with coffee shops and they got it very quickly.

Original poster

ManicUnicorn · 30/12/2018 20:42

There are so many places that are child friendly these days, that have safe and secure play areas and wacky warehouse etc for them to let off steam if they do struggle to sit still or get bored. Some of them even provide crayons and colouring in stuff.

That's why I don't understand why you'd take your child to somewhere so child unfriendly if they can't behave themselves?

OP posts:

Handprints2018 · 30/12/2018 20:57

Most peoples kids (however well behaved normally) will have turn moments which is when parents have to bloody parent. These parents clearly didn't give a care about their children (letting them, including a toddler, play in a car park). So they weren't likely to care about anyone else.

You should have complained though. At least then staff can say truthfully 'we've had complaints you need to leave'. Plus if they were in a big group witb well behaved families then one or more may have had a word. That applies to any disruptive bad behaved person. My inexperienced waiter brother (teen) will never forget when he was left to tell a table of drunks (2 couples) they needed to keep it down or leave. They were being abusive to staff and derogatory to other customers. A good few people complained and it gave him the confidence.

I've picked up my boy and left, carrying him catawhaling down the road home. He's normally great. When he tried to throw food and kick off, we left. You don't inflict bad behaviour like that on other people, customers and staff. It's dangerous and really rude.

TheWeatherGirl1 · 30/12/2018 20:57

This is the sort of thread that makes me terrified to have kids.

Handprints2018 · 30/12/2018 21:00

Just dont be a shit parent and drink and ignore while your kids and toddler play dodge the 4x4.

Caxx · 30/12/2018 21:07

I was out for a meal in a family restaurant recently with my 4 all sitting down colouring chatting etc the one year old in the high chair was making usual baby noises happy clapping etc but we were constantly getting death glares every time he opened his mouth any ideas? Do i gag him?

GassyAss · 30/12/2018 21:10

This thread reminds me of a holiday we spent with friends a few years back. All 4 of their kids behaved atrociously every time we ate out. I was so embarrassed at each restaurant. Even my kids were agog at the antics. No-one sat on their bum, there were kids running about, kids under the table, kids standing in chairs, food everywhere, no please and thank yous to waiting staff and every interaction just ended in an argument.

[shudders at memory]

Handprints2018 · 30/12/2018 21:10

Ignore the glares. Babies are babies, cooings pretty normal. Some people hate any noise regardless. Unless the baby was screaming its head off and you were ignoring it while your 4 year old played dodge the glassware then they were unreasonable.

I once got moaned at for being on my own in a restaurant and reading too obviously. Apparently antisocial though i am still confused who i was supposed to social with besides from the waiter?

Seniorcitizen1 · 30/12/2018 21:14

We eat out a lot and it is the behaviour of adults that I find most irksome rather than children who on the whole are well behaved

Nanny0gg · 30/12/2018 21:25

If it happens I do think it's the manager's job to intervene and make the parents deal with them or leave.

And if the manager hasn't then I would be asking them why not. And possible for a refund of my meal

secretfreckle · 30/12/2018 21:28

Just before Christmas, my daughter (15) and I went to Costa. There were two small children running laps around the centre tables whilst their mothers chatted. One child then got her scooter and started scooting around the tables. My daughter and I could not believe it. We were still queuing for our drinks and the lady in front of us was moaning to the staff serving, who were also looking very unimpressed, but for some reason would not go and speak to the mothers. I can just imagine what the mothers would have done/said if their children had got boiling hot coffees spilt over them.

LadyOfTheFlowers · 30/12/2018 21:38

I haven't read the whole thread but it's like this : if your kids can't sit decently for the duration of a meal, do us all a favour and don't take them out to eat. It's not much to ask. It's none of this 'kids will be kids bollocks' bs.

Littlecaf · 30/12/2018 22:11

I have two DS, 3 & 1 and the 1yo is vocal. When we go into a “family friendly” (think Zizzis etc) place I can see the looks the next table throw each other when we sit down........but we are strict & try to entertain them......if one kicks off we get the bill and go. I’m not letting my kids ruin other people’s meals.

However pre children I don’t think I ever had a meal or a flight ruined by children, either I didn’t notice the children or children’s behaviour has got worse! (Or we never went to Zizzis!)

hazeyjane · 31/12/2018 00:11

if your kids can't sit decently for the duration of a meal, do us all a favour and don't take them out to eat.

Fair enough, but I would add...if my child struggles to sit for a meal in a restaurant when we are out as a family, and I give him his iPad (with headphones or on silent), please don't roll your eyes and start a thread on mumsnet about it. ...

(I think 'screens at the table' is about the only mumsnet classic whinge we are missing atm.)

user1473878824 · 31/12/2018 00:17

When it comes to iPads etc with no headphones I’ve started very obviously walking over to them, smiling and saying “so sorry but can you turn the sound off? It’s very irritating.” And so far no one has been unembarrassed enough not to. It’s the most grown up I’ve ever felt.

evenbetter · 31/12/2018 00:24

It’s not up to the staff to ask people to not put their kid and customers at risk, or get the parents to stop inflicting their feral darlings on everyone else. That’s the parents job. If staff do say anything they’ll get in trouble, or even a SadFace article about how the restaurant is ‘NoT FamiLY FriENdlY!! !’ and their mates will leave negative reviews.

posthistoricmonsters · 31/12/2018 00:24

It's twatty parents like that who make it so much harder for parents like me to take their kids out.

My kids are sen but don't look it. They expect to do whatever they see others doing.

Youngest gets very aggressive and can need removing from a place when she's upset.

So it makes me cross when other parents let their precious brood run riot.

KimchiLaLa · 31/12/2018 14:31

Thanks Badadum I think she will respect that but right now no need to eat out! She needs to be in bed by anyway.

bourbonbiccy · 31/12/2018 16:09

It is really sad when you see children running riot and the Parents doing absolutely nothing to try and control them.
I am by no means a believer of children should be seen and not heard, and there are obviously circumstances where it can't be helped but on the whole decent manners and behaviour should be taught. I just wonder how these parents are setting their children up for the future.

I have seen parents simply just ignore children when they are disruptive to the whole restaurant and the staff having to speak to the parents. Even then, they didn't seem to do anything at all. Some people are just selfish.

ForalltheSaints · 31/12/2018 16:15

Parents who do not set boundaries at a young age are not only being unkind to others, they are being unkind to their children, and in later years may reap what they sow. Perhaps a comment along the lines of 'don't come crying to me if your child ends up in years to come being in borstal or prison' might have some effect.

Unfortunately we do not have enough police for any restaurant to get tough and have them removed.

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