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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that children shouldnt be allowed to run riot in restaurants/pubs/cafes?

74 replies

ManicUnicorn · 30/12/2018 15:42

Ive just come back from Sunday lunch, which was spoiled by a family allowing their three kids, including a young toddler, to run riot in the restaurant. I dont mind kids being in restaurants at all, in fact I think its good for them to get used to eating out as a family from a young age. What I dont like is parents letting them spoil everyone elses experience, which is what was going on here.

When we got there they were all sat at the table watching their own indvidual ipads. No headphones and full volume, so everyone could hear it all word for word. They quickly got bored with that though and were basically allowed to do what they wanted to for the next hour. The toddler was lifted out of the high chair and ran riot around the whole place, at one point she had to be stopped from entering the kitchen, and another diner had to stop her from walking into a table corner. Waiting staff alsohad to step over them whilst carrying hot food.

Parents did fuck all and just sat there guzzling wine. Then they told them all to go outside and they were running around in the car park unsupervised before coming back in and all dancing around in the main bar area. The toddler then darted back outside and the parents shouted at the eldest for not keeping an eye on her.For perspective eldest must have only been about eight.

Ive never seen anything like it and I think everyone finally breathed a sigh of relief when they all left. If we'd have behaved like this in a restaurant when were kids my parents would have kicked our backsides into next week. I get thats not acceptable anymore, but there are plenty of child friendly places where you can take them and then let them out to play safely when they are bored.

AIBU to think they should stick to McDonalds in future?

OP posts:
RavenWings · 30/12/2018 16:15

Really I'm just waiting for someone will turn up and say you're unreasonable because they're just being kids, maybe they had special needs, your children should be perfect before you dare have an opinion on obviously rude behaviour and if you wanted silence then you should go to a library.

Me too! Grin

OP, yanbu of course. Parents should keep their kids under control and not let them endanger or annoy people around them. Someone will appear soon and accuse you of every -ism under the sun for thinking that, though.

BillyAndTheSillies · 30/12/2018 16:16

This drives me mad! And I always feel so bad for serving staff who have to navigate their way around the children making forts under the table etc.
On a selfish level, it also pisses me off when I manage to keep my DS(2) at the table and there are kids running around and all he wants to do is get down and join in.

Jazzhan · 30/12/2018 16:18

I used to go away on holidays with my childminder and my dd. DD wouldn't move a muscle with Mary in charge. They all behaved. Then she'd bring them all to the beach to burn off energy.
It's not controlling a child to teach them manners.

fullforce · 30/12/2018 16:28

I refuse to eat out with my DD for this exact reason. I hate it myself so why should I inflict it on anyone else? Children are not socially adjusted like adults. They don’t understand etiquette and that people need to relax and we can’t expect them to. It’s the parents fault. My DM is obsessed with taking my DD out for meals to ‘socialise’. She’s a toddler she should be socialising with other toddlers in a child-friendly environment not drunk adults! It won’t end until there are child-free pubs etc. Family friendly pubs are out there and I actively avoid them. I hate it when people bring children into a pub that doesn’t serve food! So irresponsible and there’s not much worse than watching parents glug back pint after pint whilst rocking a pram or their child is running about

OutPinked · 30/12/2018 17:09

YANBU. I have 4 DC and have never allowed them to run around in restaurants or shops. It’s rude and selfish.

WhoTookTheChristmasCookie · 30/12/2018 17:13

@Jazzhan kids don't need controlling. They need teaching.
Very odd choice of words; I'm guessing you don't have kids.

WhoTookTheChristmasCookie · 30/12/2018 17:17

@Jazzhan oh, you do have a child - you just don't 'control' her yourself.

AmyDowdensLeftLeftShoe · 30/12/2018 17:22

@fullforce not all kids run riot as toddlers so can eat out.

SneakyGremlins · 30/12/2018 17:24

YANBU OP.

ChelseaBabbage · 30/12/2018 17:25

Even worse when it's 9pm at night. We went to a pub quiz at a big chain pub. Party of 10 at the next table complete with rampaging toddlers at 9pm. Could barely hear the questions over the racket.

Jazzhan · 30/12/2018 18:09

Yes, they do need controlling. I didn't have to open my mouth.

Badadadum · 30/12/2018 18:13

@WhoTookTheChristmasCookie - sometimes they need controlling, sometimes they need teaching and sometimes you can combine the two but you should not torment other people in your struggle with your kids - a few minutes is fine but after that you need to get a grip of the situation or leave.

hazeyjane · 30/12/2018 18:27

Yes, they do need controlling. I didn't have to open my mouth.

Did you bang a big ol' gnarly stick like Nanny McPhee?

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 30/12/2018 18:47

YANBU. I feel sorry for the staff as well. If they wanted to be entertaining kids they'd have gone to childcare work not waitressing/hospitality.
Letting their kids run around car parks and in and out of bloody hot kitchens. How can people be so careless with the safety of their children or worse their lives.
Also can you imagine the fuck this fuck that fuck the other had one of those waiters accidentally spilled a hot substance on one of those children

ALongHardWinter · 30/12/2018 18:52

Well,judging by the way a lot of parents let their kids behave in the coffee shops/cafés/pubs/restaurants that I frequent,all I can say is that these parents are obviously not MNers! Grin

HammerHorror · 30/12/2018 18:57

We often get compliments about our 1 year old and 3 year old's behaviour and I actually enjoy eating out with them because they're so well behaved and good company.

I'll just give myself a couple of minutes of smugface!

About a week before Christmas they turned feral. They were horrific little beasts. We had to cancel our food and march them out of a pub one afternoon because they were out of control. I was mortified.

Anyway, they're back to being their angelic selves now so I'll just sit here and preen.

tillytoodles1 · 30/12/2018 18:57

My daughter was a waitress in a Mexican restaurant, and she said the number of kids that were allowed to run round was a nuisance. Trying to dodge a kid running wild, while carry a tray of smoking hot, cast iron dishes of fajitas was a nightmare.

thesnapandfartisinfallible · 30/12/2018 19:01

It's just pure and utter lazy parenting. 'Ah, look at my precious, isn't she spirited'. No, she's a kid without boundaries madam. And I'll show you spirited if you don't shut them up and sit them the fuck down.

Grin Ah I have found my people.

Travisandthemonkey · 30/12/2018 19:19

What’s with iPads and no headphones. I don’t get it.
If they don’t want headphones they don’t get iPad surely. It’s quid pro quo

Badadadum · 30/12/2018 19:26

I object to the ipads - we go out with extended family for lunch and the 13 year old pulls out his ipad and headphones and ignores everyone else including the kids he gets on with around the table.

Subtlecheese · 30/12/2018 19:28

So what did you say?

Badadadum · 30/12/2018 19:37

@Subtlecheese - if you are talking to me? I could not intervene because I am an in-law, Mil was sitting beside me and she tried but failed, his Mum laughed awkwardly, dh was at the bar or he would have strongly objected, so funnily enough it was my kids who objected and told their cousin not to be so rude and anti-social and that was that, ipad and headphones were put away and we all had a nice chatty lunch.

LagunaBubbles · 30/12/2018 19:38

Shalom why should I have to ask the managers to have a word? The managers shouldnt even have to have word, its down the parents to control their kids

Well because the parents weren't controlling their kids obviously!

KimchiLaLa · 30/12/2018 19:44

My DD is only one so I don't have this problem yet but I'm worried as she likes to move around a lot that she will want to be one of those restaurant runners. How can I stop this (aside from imposing discipline?!). I don't want to be that parent!

Vanillamanilla1 · 30/12/2018 19:45

I literally sat there watching a woman dunk her toddlers dummy into a pint of strongbow dark fruits and suck on it no lie
There were no words