DS is 3 next month. Myself, DS and DP stayed the night last night at a family friends of DP’s. Another one of DP’s friends, his DW and their 4 year old DS were also there.
DS is a very ‘spirited’ child and always has been. He is very strong willed and doesn’t like to be made to do anything he doesn’t want to do. I feel we usually discipline and deal with this accordingly as best as we can, whilst also realising that he’s only 2 and is still figuring everything out. He is also bright, funny and very loving- I feel like he has a split personality lately.
So yesterday he was very well behaved, no meltdowns or kick offs, played lovely with other child there. He went to bed later than usual (wouldn’t settle in unusual room) and woke earlier than usual this morning- so was tired today. He all of a sudden started tantrumming badly over me trying to get him dressed and screaming very very loudly. I took him upstairs to calm down. This continued for a while and he was even hitting me and kicking me as I was trying to get him dressed. (No one else saw that though thank God). He has not been that badly behaved for around 6 months now. And I was mortified.
The main reason being is that DP’s friends DW is the most judgmental person I have ever met. I have never encountered a mother who makes another mother feel worse when they are already struggling. Only sympathising and empathetic fellow mums. When we speak and I tell of DS’s tantrums, she replies “my DS has NEVER had tantrums like that”. When DS struggled to settle last night and was messing about “we’ve never had that with DS, it’s one story and then we go- and he knows not to get out of bed”. (Her DP then entered the room and told me of how they used to have to take their DS out in the car to get him to sleep and how he used to shout for them when they did controlled crying- so it wasnt even completely true 
). She has this time and on previous visits told me of her friends children and their behaviour (which sounds very similar to DS’s at times!) and refers to them as ‘turds’. She tells me how her DS’s private school is so much better than state schools and how much more advanced her child is than other kids his age because of it. She is very strict with her own DS and often scolds him for simply being a child (laughing loudly, being moderately hyperactive etc). He’s very well behaved all of the time I have seen him- and looks visibly shocked when my DS tantrums.
I would have been embarrassed anyway but felt all the more for her being there to the point I was in tears in the toilet. DP tells me I’m over sensitive and it has nothing to do with her. I know I shouldn’t care what she thinks, but I can just imagine her calling DS a ‘turd’ and judging my parenting because of how she is. AIBU? Is she?! I don’t think i’ll be going back there whilst they are staying again.