Charity shop Christmas presents

[homegrownmumma]

Am I unreasonable to be annoyed that my mother in law brought a sack full of presents for my son all from the charity shop and not even in brilliant condition .
It's her first grandchild and his first Christmas , she's not short on money either .

I have no issue with second hand toys/ clothes for babies , I regularly use eBay and go to nearly new sales but for some reason I feel different about them being given as present .

Depends what was in the sack. Toys that have scuff marks but are still perfectly usable is fine. Toys with bits missing, chewed or not appropriate for his age not so much.

If they are safe to use and with all pieces there then that is fine. He is a baby, he won’t care!

I’m a bit torn with this one! If they were crap quality/broken then that’s a bit shit.

But equally you can get some fab toys from CS’s. But I’m not sure I’d buy all the gifts from a charity shop......

Playable but not great condition toys that she genuinely thought he’d enjoy should be fine really. Environmentally it’s great for toys that aren’t destined to be much more than a passing phase.

Any old shit slung in wrapping paper - not so much.

If it’s the first I’d choke down my feelings on getting new stuff.

If she has no money problems, then I think that's a bit shit.

Agree. If she's not hard up, thats bad.

I’m also a bit torn. We can afford brand new but I must admit I bought a fair few toys for my daughter off eBay second hand this year. I felt bad doing it but I just couldn’t justify the cost of brand new vs second hand good quality 🤷‍♀️ Just such a waste. I wouldn’t give other friends or family such gifts though because I know it might offend.

I’d find that a bit crap too. If she can afford not to then it’s like she cares more about “getting a bargain” than about actually choosing something appropriate and thoughtful

Eugh no I wouldn't be very happy about that. I could bleach and dettol til the cows come home but still wouldn't give my child (especially at an age where everything goes in the mouth) any of it. Bin it

Are they definitely from a charity shop?

Not that it makes much difference but could they have been gifted to her from a friend, passed on from a grandchild perhaps?

Personally, if it's age appropriate, clean and all intact then I wouldn't be bothered although I would ask before gifting a second hand item incase it caused offence.

@currentcake I wouldn't advise bleaching anything before putting it in your child's mouth any way!

They pick up all sorts at that age, shared toys at nursery, toddler groups and even the library.

Unless there in disgusting conditional then yabu. Yes she is your child grandmother but you should be gratefully and not expect stuff unless there's a massive drip coming like Dg bought all new stuff except my child ?

They*

I could bleach and dettol til the cows come home but still wouldn't give my child (especially at an age where everything goes in the mouth) any of it. Bin it

But every nursery, baby group, Drs reception, library, etc will have toys that have been used by others. Binning it is extreme, at the very least re-donate it.

You can tell I've had a few gins

To be honest if it was me I'd redonate it.

My youngest received charity shop gifts from my dgm for Xmas. I couldn't care less. They weren't all from the charity shop but a couple were.
Doesn't even bother me that it was only him out of the 4 dc.

Its shit. Whats DH saying about it?

I'd pick your way though it, clean and keep what you want, ditch anything that's broken, and return rest to charity shop.

A little baby won't care - I think second hand is fine. It's not unhygienic (I assume baby will go to soft play, playgroup, nursery, local park at some point). I wouldn't be thrilled with a huge bundle of stuff I have to find a place for (I'd rather one quality item) but I'd accept it as a nice gesture and regift anything I don't want to use.

I’m all for a bargain, but i’d be livid, to be quite honest.

It’s the thoughtlessness that jars me the most, I think; and the blatant penny pinching.

Can you leave it at hers to play with when he’s there.

Thank you for the replies , I would
Normally shove everything in a bath of hot soapy water and give it all a good scrub but every item is electrical so can't really do that

Everything has scuffs on and has some ground in dirt in the corners of the toys ,they are all in perfectly working condition but they have all been clearly well loved by the previous owners .

I know a baby couldn't care less if things are second hand or not but I do think she likes to just find a bargain for the sake of it !

Can’t see the issue as I have done the same thing myself.
I dint think there is any difference between a toy you buy during the year and Christmas. And nor the fact she has money to spend.

Even now they are teens, I still go for second hand/charity stuff sometimes.
The dcs have had an Xbox for Christmas. I could have bought a brand new one. Instead they have a second hand one with some scratches in the front.
So why second hand in that case? Because knowing the cost on the environment and child labour/slavery involved in building those Xbox (or any electronic devices), I’d rather buy a second hand one than a new one.
When they were little, it didn’t make sense to buy something new when they wouod only be playing with said toys for a few months (when they were 1~3yo). They change just too fast to be able to use those for very long.

I do think she likes to just find a bargain for the sake of it

And? What is the issue with looking for a ‘bargain’/been careful with money/reusing things as much as possible?

That's shit. I'd bin them.