Charity shop Christmas presents

[homegrownmumma]

Am I unreasonable to be annoyed that my mother in law brought a sack full of presents for my son all from the charity shop and not even in brilliant condition .
It's her first grandchild and his first Christmas , she's not short on money either .

I have no issue with second hand toys/ clothes for babies , I regularly use eBay and go to nearly new sales but for some reason I feel different about them being given as present .

How much stuff was there? I'd hate a whole sackful of crap. I'd much rather one well chosen, thoughtful new present than a huge bag of stuff from a charity shop.

My ex mil used to do this. Once for ds a money box, I took it out the box and it was thick with grease and dust.
It had a coin so I thought she must of seen the condition. Turns out it was one of the old 50ps. So it had been out in but too but to get out the bottom. Also got me a laptop bag and didn't own a laptop which she knew.

@IceRebel I actually thought about sending them back to the charity shop after I'd posted it. Then someone who is willing to give it to their children can buy it and the charity shops have had payment twice for it. Win win

I was given some Duplo second hand. Lots of bricks and zoo animals. I just put in through the dishwasher and bought a nice container to keep it in. Toddler loved it. Children do still enjoy toys that are second hand. A baby is too young to understand if a gift is new or not YABVU.

Op if there's anything you like take batteries out. Give it a scrub let dry before you put batteries back in. If it works great if it doesn't ditch

I would never buy a second hand gift for anyone and wouldn't appreciate getting one either. It's different if a person chooses to buy their own kids second hand items.

I'd rather family members got nice things from charity shops for DS than bought new, personally. For environmental reasons, mainly, but others too. Most of his clothes and toys are second hand, and most of his Christmas presents from us were, too - but I know family presents won't be (we haven't seen any family yet). I'm grateful for what we get, don't get me wrong, I'd just rather not new if people could get behind it. Or experiences/days out, they're great.

But it doesn't sound like these have been carefully chosen, just "ooh, bargain", which is a shame.

@QueenieIsLost no problem at all with getting bargains but she does have a habit of buying crap when she's bargain hunting , when I pregnant she handed me a gigantic binbag full of clothes stating that they were all
Such a bargain , the issue was that 90% of the clothing had stains on / were out of shape .

Firstly there is nothing wrong with being thrifty; secondly there is nothing wrong with buying second-hand items rather than new as a way of preventing waste and saving the planet. Unless there is a lot of back story about her expecting/demanding expensive gifts for herself and/or treating you/your DC worse than other family members then YABU and a bit spoilt to whine about this.
I got given an item from a charity shop which really pleased me (an old book that caters to my tastes, by someone who knows me well) and I give gifts from charity shops when I see something that someone will like...

Just give them back to a charity shop. If she wad short on money I would think it thoughtful but she could have got a boom or something rather than loads of tat.

I think more of this is needed, but I would clean up the presents thoroughly before wrapping. DH and I will buy second-hand gifts for each other and a few friends/family who feel the same way as us about consumption.

Everyone I know with kids seems to be constantly combing through toys and taking them to the charity shop. Or they complain about the volumes of cheap plastic gifts their kids receive. It seems an utter waste to purchase new unless it's something that will last years.

My DM buys my kids secondhand stuff as presents all the time. I'm grateful from an eco point of view - when my kids grow up I'd like them to live in a world that's not overrun with plastic- based rubbish.

She does choose carefully - stuff that's in good condition and clean. When you say there's ground up dirt in the corners of things, that does sound a bit grim to be fair.

I'd never bleach kid's toys - whether they're at the age of putting stuff in their mouths or not. Bleach is a horrible thing!

First Grandchild, first Christmas and very well used charity shop toys as his gifts? No, that's not thoughtful. I wouldn't like it.

There's nothing wrong with buying from a charity shop but I agree with an earlier poster who said they wouldn't buy from there for someone's present and wouldn't want to receive from there either.

I would not like this at all, in fact I would take it back to the charity shop!

I’d be pleased.

My DPs and ILs are all comfortably off, their Christmas presents for DS (first grandchild on both sides) included charity shop second hand items, and also a few (definitely slightly worn!) bits from when DH and I - or the GPs themselves - were small.

They grow out of toys so quickly at this age I’d rather save the planet a bit.

What I’d be less impressed with is lots of things being electronic and therefore making a racket!

If the planet was her concern she could have chosen a nice wooden toy. Quality over quantity.

You say yourself you have no issue with second hand items but because it was given to you as a Christmas gift you feel like you deserve a full price brand new one?

Yabu

My SIL bought my DS books from a charity shop for Christmas last year, after we had bought her children toys, sweets and money, she didn’t even bother to clean them, they were grubby with pages missing and torn, one was a 2015 paw patrol annual with the previous owners name in it with all the puzzles and pictures coloured in! I was really cross, I’ve bought many a toy from charity shops for him, but always make sure they are working and clean them first, she was just being spiteful. Her wedding was in Oct gone, she asked for cash, DH suggested he sort her gift, he opted to give her charity shop picture frame instead!

I think combing charity shops is way more thoughtful than just buying any old tat from a shop. It’s better for the environment and your child will not care. I am sure it’s not a level of how much she loves him and as long as the gifts have been given with love I think it’s extremely good of her not to be perpetuating this cycle of new crap no one really wants either. Give them a wipe, keep the ones he’ll use and get over it.

I would hate it. I would rather one nice toy than a bag of crap ones!

An acquaintance brought us toys from charity shops. We very politely thanked her, but binned them as soon as she left. My kids have inherited loads of toys from cousins and friends, I don't demand everything new, but not stuff coming from god knows where.

Everything has scuffs on and has some ground in dirt in the corners of the toys ,they are all in perfectly working condition but they have all been clearly well loved by the previous owners

Every single item my kids own is like this 47 seconds after the bloody wrapping is off. It's a gift they have.

Personally I would be pleased with the reduction in waste. I hate the amount of toys we get given. I am aware that by many parent's standard this is odd, but I certainly don't think it means your MiL thinks less of your DCs.

From what the OP has posted, none of the toys were ‘a pile of crap’ though.
They are all electronic type of toys that are in working condition.

Unless the Op is going to do a massive drip feed and tells us that the toys themselves are crap/unsuitable for her child/just bought for the sake of it, then they are just that. Second hand toys that are totally ok as toys as far as I can see. Regardless of whether they have been found in the family loft or in a charity shop.

Very interesting to see that some people things that toys from a charity shop are not acceptable as you dint know where they are coming from. I’m wondering what People are worried about tbh.

Get some hot soapy water and cotton buds and invite her over for an afternoon to help you clean them. She won’t do it again.

It's mean. Unless she's a committed ecowarrior, she clearly cares more about her wallet than your DC. Or the planet.

From what the OP has posted, none of the toys were ‘a pile of crap’ though.
They are all electronic type of toys that are in working condition.

Exactly. It's clear the OP has no issues with second hand items, and since these sound like age appropriate gifts, albeit not in pristine condition I can't see that the MIL has done anything wrong.