Charity shop Christmas presents

[homegrownmumma]

Am I unreasonable to be annoyed that my mother in law brought a sack full of presents for my son all from the charity shop and not even in brilliant condition .
It's her first grandchild and his first Christmas , she's not short on money either .

I have no issue with second hand toys/ clothes for babies , I regularly use eBay and go to nearly new sales but for some reason I feel different about them being given as present .

How many adults can honestly tell me they'd be happy with grubby second hand gifts ?

Why would you give a child grubby second hand gifts?

Lots of the Christmas toy charities are looking for new toys rather than second hand. Some people are so obsessed with the idea of avoiding landfill they will pass all sorts of rubbish to charities that it costs the charities to get rid of stuff.

MIL does this but always seems to pick something that has bits missing. I wish she'd check for that but the kids don't care, they care more if they think the toy is too young for them.

Are you sure your MIL is comfortable though, MIL lives in an enormous house but since she was widowed she does not have much spare every month at all. I only know this because DH got me to look over her bills. They should have downsized years ago.

@Edthebear my best ever Christmas gift was a second hand Kindle Paperwhite! It has a few scuffs on the corner but it really doesn't bother me.

I think it’s thoughtless. We have a one present only rule per person in our family for all the little ones. No one should be giving sacks full of anything. One nice toy in good condition and nicely wrapped is all that should be given.

My family brought Christmas presents for my 1year old from the charity shop and I'm afraid I encourage it.

The money that gets wasted on toys that he won't look at for more than a nanosecond makes me feel a little sick, and if he expresses no interest in the toys then I have no qualms about taking it straight back again.

My parents however do love a clean toy and it transpires that my dad indiviually steam cleaned a big box of lego 😬

YABU

Be thankful for the gifts, move on and find something else to worry about in your life.

Categoric - that’s a great idea I think I’ll try and do that with my family next year. My 9 month old got boxes and boxes of plastic toys, it seemed so wasteful as she preferred the actual boxes and I have a tiny house.

Op - I can see why you’re upset, could you mention things to her that your DS would actually benefit from next year? Less presents but something specific.

I wouldn’t be impressed at all with a charity shop gift for myself or my kids, I’d rather have nothing. Some plastic toys like Lego and Duplo aren’t safe if they were made pre 90s especially if they’re going to be put in the babies mouth.

I have bought toys/clothes/books from charity shops and car boot sales for my DC that I think they will enjoy and are in good clean condition and have given them to them as and when I have bought them. I also have a friend who has an older DD and she will often give us her DD’s hand me down clothes when she has grown out of them.
I don’t have a problem with the above, but I would find it strange and to be honest a bit stingy if someone were to wrap up a hand me down or a second hand item from a charity shop and gift it as a birthday or Christmas present. I wouldn’t dream of doing that myself. If someone is short of money I would rather have 1 small new gift (or a fiver in a card) than lots of second hand stuff in used condition.
My Aunt and uncle over the past few years have ‘gifted’ my DC what are blatantly my cousins old hand me downs. Both cousins are now in their 20’s and most likely the items are things that have been in their attic for at least 15 years and/or they have not managed to sell at car boot. DS unwrapped a pair of jogging bottoms that were bobbled and slightly faded and DD unwrapped some books which looked used aswell. As above I would rather they gifted one new item or to be honest nothing at all.

The money that gets wasted on toys that he won't look at for more than a nanosecond makes me feel a little sick, and if he expresses no interest in the toys then I have no qualms about taking it straight back again.

That's a very sensible approach. I also find that older toys are more durable and usually better made. Some of the tat that is sold these days just falls apart if you so much as look at it.

I'm with @QueenieIsLost on this one.
Reuse reuse reuse! I can't bear the thought of someone else's poor child having to work in abhorrent conditions so we can throw what ever it is after a few months.

Re the original post, it is however a shame that the items were in such poor condition. I don't imagine your mil would have done this purposely - you probably just have different standards.

I'm a big fan of second hand, I can afford to buy new. Would I gift it? Absolutely!

I think every toy that my 2 and 4 year olds got for Christmas came from charity shops or ebay.

They don’t care.

And it saves perfectly usable toys from going to landfill, saves buying new stuff and wasting more resources.

Second hand is fine.

For what it’s worth, we are financially comfortable so it’s not a cost issue, it just makes sense from an environmental point of view.

I've bought fantastic presents from charity shops. Last year I bought my mum a Per Una mohair wrap, brand new with tags in for £8. This year I've bought my dad a hardback top gear book about classic 70s cars for £1.50. Retail price £12.99. If you're good at charity shopping, why not?