Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I'm pissed off at my neighbours life.........................

85 replies

toomuchtodo · 27/06/2007 12:42

and yes I know I am being unreasonable cos I wouldn't change with her, but Jesus, she's got it so easy

gets up at 10.30, bf takes kids to school
seems to do nowt with baby, only goes out if she wants maybe once a week

doesn't cook, gets takeaways most nights

has loads of family round to babysit every weekend so she can go out

doesn't want a job as she says her benefits pay for everything (doesn't tell ss she has a partner who works....)

never feeds her kids anything decent, they wander around these streets with crisps/coke/cake and come in to my house while I'm trying to get mine to eat something decent for once

is always relaxed, cos she gets plenty sleep/rest/time away from her kids and I BLOODY DON'T

am jealous I know, just pisses me off when we're struggling on £16k a year and she gets by and doesn't try just has a nice easy life

God I'm really tired today and a moany bitch, but where else can I moan?!

OP posts:
flibbertyjibbet · 27/06/2007 16:23

Oh, I just noticed the bit about the partner that works. The DSS have a special number you can ring to grass people up completely anonymously. I know cos I once did it to someone who well overcharged dp for plastering subcontract work then we found out he didn't even declare it for tax as he was claiming invalidity, housing, council tax etc etc etc. I wouldn't mind but what a plonker to be working as a plasterer and claim invalidity! I hear they caught him on video walking up his path with all his tools and covered in plaster dust

whomovedmychocolate · 27/06/2007 16:26

How about I CAT you, you tell me her address and I'll shop her for you?

obimomkanobi · 27/06/2007 16:28

Obly, we have different mindsets.

The mum I know was left by her husband and is doing her level best to bring up her kids in very difficult circumstances. It would be a very mean spirited individual who dobbed her in, just because she earns a few extra quid babysitting.

contentiouscat · 27/06/2007 16:40

Oh I know someone like this too, the benefit system is their own little top up piggybank and the taxman is conveniently overlooked. They just ignore the fact that other people have to work to supply the benefits for them 'a little help from the benefits' is how she phrases it. Problem is she is a really nice person if you overlook that attittude so I just avoid the subject and rant to DH about it.

One of the housing authority homes near us they own a brand new merc & A BMW but I guess it comes down to your prorities do you live in a rented home and spend your dosh on two high range fast depreciating cars or own a crap car AND your home.

I guess you cant do anything about other people priorties just get it off your chest and get on with it.

We should all report these people though shouldnt we - hard when you can put a face to them though.

contentiouscat · 27/06/2007 16:43

Same as oblomov...benefits are rightly there for those who genuinely need it not to be fraudulently sucked up by the greedy and lazy.

Peachy · 27/06/2007 16:48

Goodness she must have low aspirations if her benefits pay for everything! (not doubting you btw, in shock at how low she sets her aims)

Course you're right to be annoyed. Actual I suspect there's more to her life than you can see (most poeple would want to go out more often with their baby or give their kids decent meals) but from your perspctive I'd be narked too.

Peachy · 27/06/2007 16:52

And I agre she should be reported- my dad is on benefits now after a lifetime of ahrdwork and saving (had two pensions palns and both collapsed- not as part of the big problem but because were sold abroad to countries with different alws that allowed the money to be well, stolen)

Yet they wouldn't dream of claiming what wasn't theirs, and in fact works a bit to make it up to what he want- and decalres it. In fact it was over declared LOL so he just got a nice pre-holiday surprise, but all his own money.

Benefits fraud is Not OK.

lizziemun · 27/06/2007 16:58

obimomkanobi,

Surely you can see the difference from someone doing the odd bit of babysitting, then someone who is working full time as per opening post.

I would report someone who is defaulding the benifits if i knew that they were working fulltime and getting benifits. I would not report someone who is doing the odd bit of babysitting (unless she was doing everyday and earning lots).

wombat2 · 27/06/2007 17:00

Do you know for certain she is committing benefit fraud? Her dp might have low income eg. £10k, and then they might be legitimately getting a fair bit in child tax credits and working tax credits. Plus child benefit. It all adds up and isn't benefit fraud. Or perhaps I am being too generous to her?!

Peachy · 27/06/2007 17:01

Don't you get £15 leeway on benefits or something? oculd be wrong

noddyholder · 27/06/2007 17:02

get on with your own life and let her get on with hers.Things may be different on the inside No one really knows what someone else is doing/feeling just from looking in.We are obsessed with snooping in this country

wombat2 · 27/06/2007 17:02

Have to agree her life doesn't sound brilliant for her kids if nothing else...

Oblomov · 27/06/2007 17:25

Actually wombat, is is still fraud. If you have some living with you - dp, for example, then their income has to be taken into account.
There is an advert on tv, for someone claiming that they are single, with a bf, partner dh, whatever, actually living in the house. It is fraud, no matter how much he earns.

Oblomov · 27/06/2007 17:27

And yes, I too, like lizziemum says, am not so unsympathetic to realisee that the occassional babysit, is different to full on fraud.

juuule · 27/06/2007 17:34

I agree with Noddyholder. You get on with your life and let her get on with hers. Not everything is always as it seems. She might have her own troubles. And ask yourself whether you really prefer her life over yours?

handlemecarefully · 27/06/2007 17:39

She doesn't sound like great mother material. I expect her children will sadly never make their potential

wombat2 · 27/06/2007 17:42

But if her dp only earns say £10k and that was declared then it is still likely that they would get a lot of tax credits. Or are tax credits not classified as benefits??

Peachy · 27/06/2007 18:17

If that someone lives with you 4 or more nights out of 7 isn't it? taht's the difference between living with and not.

ebenezer · 27/06/2007 18:22

Report her for benefit fraud. Then sit down with a nice glass of wine and congratulate yourself on having better parenting skills. She sounds like a useless role model for her kids.

Original poster
toomuchtodo · 27/06/2007 21:05

she seems to be

and I'm at the wine now!

OP posts:
j20baby · 27/06/2007 21:27

peachy- its £20, i work 2 mornings a week, and i get my wages and then the benefits make it up to the amount of income support plus £20.

j20baby · 27/06/2007 21:27

oops, btw toomuch, do you live down my old street? she sounds like my ex neighbour and yanbu

Elasticwoman · 27/06/2007 21:52

If she stays in bed till 10.30 and then gets dressed up to the 9s it does imply a certain profession.

Is she on the game do you think?

agnesnitt · 27/06/2007 22:37

Benefit fraud should be reported, whatever the circumstances.

Agnes

bookwormmum · 27/06/2007 22:49

Write an anonymous letter to the DSS and leave it at that. If there's anything to investigate, they'll find it but consider how much the cost of an investigation might be as well first. I was hauled in by the DSS years ago to explain why I'd continued to claim benefits when I'd gone back to un (I hadn't and had written to advise them of this!) and had to prove I'd a) written to them which they'd ignored and b) has the intact benefit book as I was waiting instructins what to do with it, which I was able to do - it gave me great satisfaction to brandish it in their faces!! Probably cost them a couple of hundred quid in staff time sorting it all out though.

Swipe left for the next trending thread