Okay, so - my DP and I got back together about 6 months ago. We have one DC who is 2.
I wasn't sure about getting back together at the time, he slightly pushed me into a corner with it because he really wanted to get back together, but I still had love for him and he's an excellent father, I just wasn't sure if I was in love with him.
We've had ups and downs over the past 6 months. Sometimes we bicker a lot and get each other down and sometimes (most of the time really, now) we get on really well. He is like my best friend, he is so amazing with our son, and there's just not many ways I can fault him... but I just don't feel how I felt before we split the first time.
I like being with him, and cuddling him, and having fun with him etc, but sometimes I feel like I'm missing out on dating other people, or like I can't see myself with him forever because I'd feel like I've missed out on other experiences/opportunities. We currently don't really have sex, which is something he's unhappy with, but I've been convinced that it's hormonal/physical problems with me, but now I wonder if the attraction just isn't there with him.
I love him and love our little family but sometimes I feel like I'm just putting on a show for the world that I'm really happy because I'm supposed to be. Sometimes I feel like I am only sticking with him because 1) I'd like more children to the same father (and my plans were fairly soon), 2) because I don't want to hurt him and 3) because I feel so bad for DS every time I think of him as a toddler not understanding why his dad isn't really there anymore and not being able to communicate this with him.
AIBU and throwing away a good thing? Is it grass is always greener syndrome? Will this feeling pass?