Do (upper) middle class people brag more?

[MuseumofInnocence]

I've spent some time with extended family (I'm from a fairly ordinary background - upper working / lower middle). Anyway, much of the extended family is quite posh (doctors, lawyers, etc), and I noticed a few times that there was what I thought what I thought a bit of "signalling going on".

I was chatting to one chap, (doctor), who told me about his sister-in-law, whom I've never met, and he managed to slip in that his sister was a solicitor, and one of their daughters was studying medicine at Oxford and the other daughter was studying Law in London.

My next friend sidles up, and tells me about his promotion, and his new house, and literally manages to squeeze in (indirectly) the size, by telling me what the area of the ceiling he has to decorate!

It just seems to me with my friends from a similar background, we talk less about our work (and whatever successes we had) and more about general life.

AIBU to think it's a middle class thing to signal and brag like this? I don't think it's malicious and I know I can be a bit sensitive, coming from a less posh background.

We know a rich, professional and UMC (titled) family that do this all the time. It has almost become a game like Bingo where we count how many times they will drop in ‘the house in Tuscany’ or ‘Gavin’s new wine cellar’ or ‘poor DD, working so, so hard at Oxford, they really do push the medical students too hard’ etc. Also, they speak so loudly that I once heard the wife telling a flight attendant about the house in Tuscany from the other side of a large plane in flight.

Lol at Clarissa and Antonia - and as for their parents bless for their agonies !

I have some extended family like this. I did think it was linked to social class but after meeting more and more of them, it's one particular couple who do it and trigger it in others - possibly more linked to age (war babies).

They are not the most successful in their immediate family but probably think they are as most keep things quiet.

At the start of your post you say they are extended family. Isn’t discussing what people in the family are up to just part of normal family life and conversations? What would you prefer them to talk about, the weather?

Are doctors and lawyers posh? Educated, yes. But the second guy - if he was really bragging he wouldn't be talking about painting his own ceiling!

I had a complete stranger start bragging at me at a childrens' event not long ago, effectively about how much money he had (actually about how wonderfully talented his daughter was at various extraordinarily expensive pursuits). It must have been family money since his job was nothing special.

I think it's the perennial problem of people who've always had money not comprehending that other people don't have it, and that without the money they're nothing special, rather than class per se. I've had any number of similarly insensitive comments from rich people (landlords typically) about how rich they're getting off exploiting me.

I think maybe it's middle children thing?!

All the massive braggers I know are "WC dun good" I have to say. Didnt have much growing up and now have Range Robers with personal plates. Fair enough I guess. Though tedious to listen to. I just mute them.on facebook and that solved 98% of the tedium.

The few truly rich people I know dont really brag and drive normal cars, but have fuck off houses, which they dont talk about like they are mansions like the others.

Nope. Those who have plenty of money don't feel the need to brag. It's the aspirational "middle class" who feel the need to judge everyone by how much money they have (or more accurately, don't have), manifested in particular by the car you drive. If you drive a non-expensive car, you don't deserve to be on the road. They also stop their kids coming to play with yours if you don't conform to their social climbing aspirations.

I don't think talking about a new job or a new house is bragging, as someone said above; it's crawling to people with money, or only wanting to be friends with people with more money because you aspire to be like them, everything is to with money.

And everyone brags about their kids. Well, a majority of people do.

I know it's a bit of a cliche (couldn't get the aigu ) but from my (actual RL experience) the upper and lower couldn't give less of a shit but the middles really really care about everything class-related, it's off-putting. So if I ever date again I've decided I want a proper geezer or a proper knob.

Tatiana... that's why I put IME. The ones I know, don't.
And Guacatrole- it's the OP who started a thread about class so don't see why you need to warn her that MN is obsessed by it.

And I speak as a miner's daughter (which reminds me of arguably something MN has always been far more obsessed by- the chip on shoulder competitive poverty thing)

So if I ever date again I've decided I want a proper geezer or a proper knob
Nob, surely.:o

OP, are you saying that you never talk about new purchases, new jobs or promotions?

I actually don’t. I bought a new car a couple of years back - not brand new but by a long chalk the nicest car I’ve ever had. I didn’t mention it on Facebook or to work colleagues. I was born in the early 60s and my parents were down on me like a ton of bricks if I ever said anything that sounded remotely like bragging about myself or possessions. We’re going away somewhere nice for new year but I have only mentioned to close friends and I won’t put any photos on FB. I’m far from upper middle class!

These people are middle middle and trying to signal that they are not lower middle like you. Upper middle take things like going to oxford and large houses for granted. They also don’t feel the need to put the lower middle in their place.

If you have money you don’t brag. Or a good job. I’m a Solicitor and my children go to private school. No one in my office knows that. I don’t have a lot of money, I’ve just always spent wisely and not wasting it and invested in Property young.

The worst are the “ten bob millionaires” who try to brag. Or the ones that were brought up in not ideal circumstances or were poor when they were children and they’ve done reasonably well for themselves. I find those the worst at trying to brag or stealth brag.

Sometimes I find it quite sweet when people boast, especially about their kids or grandkids. I suppose I have to like the person first though!

Yes they do. People who think the upper classes don’t boast aren’t listening.
They boast, all the time.

Of course you boast if you have money whether it’s old or new.

People who think the upper classes don’t boast aren’t listening.
They boast, all the time. Agree they are just signalling in a different way...like the whole beat up Volvo/Land Rover.

I'd say more "new".

I think they're just living their lives, not signalling.

Exactly smoke
how hard Miffy found the black run this year etc etc

Haha! I always responded with my sons had never had a filling! Excellent teeth which was what I was most proud of because of my poor, working class background. Plus they are as handsome as fuck

And Guacatrole- it's the OP who started a thread about class so don't see why you need to warn her that MN is obsessed by it

I wasn't warning her. I responded to her OP which is that people are cunts regardless of their class and stated that it's cringy that we have these threads pop up regularly..

I have carpet but I let people wear their shoes on it! Am I upper middle class or just middle class because of the carpets? My children's photos are all tastefully arranged on the piano and not on the wall, if that makes any difference?