To not speak to the journalist

[justwantanopinion]

My son died due to cot death at 8 weeks old. The charity who has helped us featured our son as part of their Christmas campaign.
A journalist from The Sun messaged me very quickly asking if I wanted to 'do a story'. I don't think I do. AIBU to think the journalist is a CF?!

Don't ever have anything to do with The Sun. Especially if you don't want your entire story changing or having you turned into Britain's most hated for something.

Seriously. Tell them no

I also meant to say how sorry for your loss I am. I cannot imagine xxx

I am sorry for your loss.

Let the charity handle the press.

I should say I consented to his story being shared. My first instinct is to say FO to the journalist. I feel a bit vulnerable really and not sure what to do x

Don't think the journo is a CF, he's just doing his job. But you are well within your rights to refuse him access to your family or deny him permission to use your details.

The journalist should have approached the charity rather than you directly. Did the charity give them your number without your permission?

I'm confused why you think it was CFery of the journalist, though. How else are journalists to find stories if not by talking to people?

No, the journo is doing their job, and the charity will have provided a press release. Your contact details were either deliberately given out (did you consent to that?) or were readily discoverable.

The whole point of such campaigns is to raise awareness, and the charity will be delighted that a high circulation national newspaper is taking an interest (often an explicit aim to the planners).

But if on reflection you do not feel this is right for you, just say no. No-one wants to push someone, not even the reptiles of the press, when they are seeking a sympathetic story.

@knittingdad the journalist private messaged me on Facebook. Just felt it was a bit off. Maybe I'm too sensitive?

Don’t be pushed into anything you’re not comfortable with - journalists can be relentless and it’s easy to get swept up even if you’re not sure. If you’re uncomfortable replying maybe you could ask the charity to field the request for you?
Very Sorry for your loss

The journalist is just doing their job, it’s not being a CF. In the nicest way, you put the story out there and they’re just asking for your input in an article about it. You can just say no, the thing is it will probably be featured either way I imagine as it’s already out there, they’re just asking if you want to comment. It’s the same if they were from the guardian or the independent. OP, I’m so very sorry for your loss xx

Just say no, you owe the journo absolutely nothing. And nothing will happen if you refuse.

Really sorry for your loss, this must be a difficult time of year for you.

I’ve just seen your reply about a Facebook message, again this is pretty standard, the same way it would have been as going through the phone book and ringing you. It’s how basically all papers these days as it’s easiest. Tell them a firm no and ask they don’t contact you again if that’s what you’d prefer. X

Just to add: I'm a journalist and often contact people via FB because it's the most easy way to get in touch. I imagine the journo did it instead of going to the charity as the charity (rightly) wouldn't have given your details out.

I get a lot of "nos," which is fine - it's the nature of my job.

Agree 100% with @FruminousBandersnatch. (I used to work for a paper a couple of years ago, to be clear!)

I'm not being mean about the journalist, I get it's her job. Just hate offending anyone. Not sure if I'm doing the right thing, ever, even sharing his story on the charity's page I didn't even tell my DH I did it so he only knew when he saw it on FB. It's so bloody hard!!!!!

@justwantanopinion - I think private messaging you on Facebook was unprofessional of the journalist. For a story this sensitive they should go through the charity.

I wouldn't reply to them directly, but talk to the charity about it. If it upsets you then I would consider asking the charity to help you raise a complaint that the journalist didn't try to make contact through the charity.

@FruminousBandersnatch - Interesting. Do you not think it would be better to go through the charity and have them approach the individual to find out whether they want to talk to you directly?

I would have thought that an initial approach indirectly would be less stressful for people not used to speaking to the press.

Oh OP, it won’t offend. I know we’re all meant to hate journalists, but they are people and she won’t be offended at all I’m sure. I’m so sorry you’ve been through so much. But please be aware that it being on a public Facebook may mean it ends up in multiple papers. If you’ve had journalists asking you may want to speak to DH about it x

I just hate the thought of a horrible article where we look like bad parents. I know that irrational but that's my fear x

Sorry for your loss,how dreadful
Don’t do an interview if you have misgivings.if you don’t feel able to decline block the email and ask Charity to decline for yiu

Let the charity handle the press Well they're obviously not are they! It's all very well for charities to 'do' stories on bereaved parents to raise awareness but if they can't protect them from rags like The Sun then what?

So sorry for your loss but please be aware that once you consent to a story being public you lose all control over it. The journalist can still write the story now without your specific consent for it being in the Sun. public information is fair game for journalists

Sorry about your baby.
However, you consented to the story being used by the charity in publicity and have a Facebook account, I don't think he was being a CF in contacting you. Just say no.

@Piebeansandchips this is my fear! There's no suspicious circumstances or anything I just feel uncomfortable about it being printed in the paper. If I genuinely thought they were trying to promote the charity then fair enough but I feel it's more to get a sympathy/sensationalist thing going x

FortunesFave OP has a Facebook account- that is what they are used for - contact and promotion.Are you suggesting the charity should have told her she could not have one?