To not speak to the journalist

[justwantanopinion]

My son died due to cot death at 8 weeks old. The charity who has helped us featured our son as part of their Christmas campaign.
A journalist from The Sun messaged me very quickly asking if I wanted to 'do a story'. I don't think I do. AIBU to think the journalist is a CF?!

Definitely not!

A charity picked up my DSis story and wrote a very sensitive piece highlighting how so little funding went into brain tumour research. The Sun got in touch with her and interviewed her over the phone. The resulting piece was dreadful - embarrassingly incorrect and very critical of the HCPs.

As with many brain tumour cases, where an operation can have devastating consequences, the usual pathway is "watch and wait" before attempting surgery. The Sun accused the excellent medical team of neglect because they didn't operate right away, implying she had to give up her job because of poor medical care and suggesting her prognosis might have been better if they had acted more quickly. All untrue. Scum.

As someone who worked in charity PR, I'd say be very wary. Journos from these types of papers are absolutely ruthless and do not necessarily deal with these things sensitively. They know the way they want the story to go before they speak to you and you are unlikely to like the angle they chose. If you are unsure I would advise against it.

I'd get back to the charity and say you were happy to be an exemplar in the campaign but not to have random journo contact you. Then message the journo and say no thank you, but if you'd like more info on this v important issue please contact the charity press office.
You must feel the floodgates have been opened to people wanting more from you. I must warn you too that this will probably happen again. You're out there, in the ether - your name and story, and another journo will contact you sooner or later. It's the way of the world. They're just doing their job. But I'm sorry this is the case.

I'm a journo, I'm also a mum.

I can guarantee I wouldn't mess up your story.

However I work for a local paper covering my local community and with something as sensitive at this, and although my editor hates me for it, I would let you read the copy before print.

So not all of us are the same, some of us are human!!

Regarding her contacting you via fb - it's quite common in our business, often it give the person a chance to think about it before a flat out 'no' on the phone.

Would it be possible to ask the journo if she could send you your quotes if you agreed to go ahead with it?

It sounds as though the charity didn't explain what would happen once you agreed to take part in the campaign. That was very remiss of them.

As a former journalist and charity PR, I'd suggest you get back in touch with the charity. The journalist can run with the information in the campaign materials without your permission but if the charity can direct them to another family who are happy to be interviewed, etc, then the journalist is likely to go with them rather than focus on your story.

The journo probably messaged you privately through FB because the charity is closed for Christmas. It's not the most professional way to contact someone, but no doubt she had her editor screaming in her ear to get the story.

If you have even the slightest doubt, don't do it. Once your story is out there there's no taking it back and every time your name is Googled, the story will come up in the searches. Supporting the charity doesn't mean having to talk to the press.

Bless you, OP.

Journalist not a CF but doing their job. And of course you are in your rights to say no / to ignore.

But I wouldn't worry over much about the story. I would expect it to be a human interest story about an awful event which readers can relate to and sympathise with

It sounds as though the charity didn't explain what would happen once you agreed to take part in the campaign. That was very remiss of them.

Agreed. And I'm surprised they didn't, because I imagine this is one of the big national charities supporting parents who have experienced cot death, and therefore that they would be very experienced in putting case studies to the press. Once your name is on a press release, then it's a signal to journalists that you are willing to talk to the media. So the charity should have made that clear to you. (Of course, it still doesn't mean that you have to talk to journalists if you don't want to - I just mean that the charity should have explained to you that there would be media requests.)

OP, it’s completely up to you.

My DSis’s story was in our local paper but then The Times, Telegraph and Mail picked it up as well as a few online news sites as it was about organ donation. It was much bigger than we thought it would be.

After that we had lots of journalists contact us (via FB) for a more ‘human interest’ piece but that wasn’t why we’d allowed the original story and we certainly weren’t looking to tell more of it. The story we had told about organ donation was important, anything else more personal did not seem right.

It’s compleyely your call - you’ve already done something positive with the original story. You don’t have to share any more.

I’m so sorry for your loss

If you are unsure say no. IMO journalists just want to sell papers.

Absolutely do not engage, even to decline.
It was very brave of you, and such a positive thing to allow your DS' story to be featured as part of a campaign. I think it's completely understandable to want to leave it at that and be reluctant to line the pockets of 'people just doing their jobs' and have the story highjacked to flog copies of that low, low shitrag.

Thank you very much for all your replies. I've decided not to respond at all. I just don't feel it's something I could deal with if the article wasn't written how I liked.
I'll try to stop worrying about it now!

Sorry for your loss justwantanopinion
Personally I think you have made the right decision not to respond.
When my dd was murdered. It was reported in the papers and the local news.
The journalists joined my family for a story, when we didn't engage with them they made up their own stories.

As a local journalist the angle we tend to go with is tributes (if the family don't want to speak there is usually a FLO or a local councillor willing to give a few lines)

But as a mother myself, the last thing I would want is my story all over the place - unless it was to raise awareness - sepsis, cancer symptoms, heart defects etc.

I always try to write any article in a way family would be happy to read it and like I mentioned above, anything as sensitive as this would be given to a family member to approve. I'm aware that's not how the nationals do it- and it's also the reason I've been with the same local paper for 15 years.

@ParkheadParadise sorry have just seen your reply.
I'm so, so sorry for your loss. That is unimaginable pain. Big hugs to you x

Don't touch the Sun with a barge pole.