To wonder if middle class children appear more ‘scruffy’

[Workingclass]

Went to a Childs party today for an old school friends DD (they are incredibly middle class) and her group of mum friends (who are equally as middle class)

I admit I don’t usually socialise in many middle class circles but I couldn’t help but notice that all of the children looked... scruffy, for want of a better word.

None of them had brushed their hair, they were all in mismatched clothes with muck on their faces. Didn’t look bathed..

I feel awful saying it, but I notice this also with the MC children at the DC school, has anyone else noticed it? I’m just curious as to why this seems to be a thing? Does my dds plaits and dresses ‘out’ her as having a working class family?

Is it more of a privilege thing? We don’t have much money so am weary of being judged as lazy by not doing her hair, I also make an effort to dress her nicely so she doesn’t look like ‘the poor kid’ is it that if your middle class you don’t have that fear?

Absolutely happy to be told IABU and judgemental but I am genuinely curious on the subject.

Perhaps 'working class' kids don't get dirty when they're sat in front of an IPad/Xbox all day

@mrsmiawallace oh yes, they do. All kids manage to get dirty. Some parents care enough about it to clean them, some do not.

Well, according to historical type measures I am resolutely working-class. My father worked in a factory, grandfather was a shepherd.

I don’t particularly identify with most of the working class measures listed here, though. I have a first-class degree and a post-graduate degree. I had a professional job until we had children and decided I would be a SAHM (due to DHs professional job requiring long hours/ international travel).

Our kids wear an eclectic mix of Boden, Jojo, Frugi, Tu, H&M etc, but always Startrite, barefoot or Geox shoes. They both have scruffy hair styles. We live in an old house that constantly looks like it needs some work doing, drive an older German estate car and our kids do horse riding, French lessons and Beavers.

Interestingly, I think living rurally makes a difference. We live in an affluent village which is a mix of London commuters and country estate workers. We mix with everyone from the family who own the big estate (children go to each other’s parties etc) to the guy who mills the cattle. Children wear a complete mix of things, but all the girls have long hair!

I'm established middle class 😂 that's mainly down to my interests I would say and not what I own!
I much prefer going to the theatre than watching a film and I love the ballet and the arts. I wish I had the savings to go with being established middle class too!
My dd wears dance wear, trackies, a cropped top under a t shirt then a hoodie with trainers or converse type clothes. She has her hair tied up and doeSn't wear make up for college . Sometime she wears a plain hat too.
Probably looks like she s about to slouch around town when she gets on the bus for college.

My dc have never had dirty messy hair. I really done like it. I always tied dds hair up for school, always. It was part of the strict uniform.

I have said this earlier on this thread. If you are a hardworking and generally busy person, you don’t really care what you wear. I wear whatever I feel like and makes me feel good. There was a time in my life when I didn’t have much money and couldn’t buy nice clothes and shoes. Now I can buy so I enjoy them. I most certainly don’t wear them to make others feel I have money or take care of my appearance. I honestly don’t care what my kids do or what others think about them when we are out and about.
However, one thing that I often wonder about now is how many clothes and accessories we are polluting this earth with. So I have started to buy things that will work as part of a capsule wardrobe even 20 years from now. I try and do the same for my DCs. They own a few pairs of jeans and the younger one wears hand me downs.
Either way, I don’t give a hoot about it all. Some days I look well-dresses and immaculate, some days I can’t be bothered. Not anybody’s business.

Absolutely, richer you are the less you care what people think. Lots of research done on it.

Being sensible I think some of it is just being practical as well.
In my old flat where everything dried quickly I was more relaxed about DS getting dirty.
In my new flat where things take ages to dry/ it feels a bit colder I am more likely to try and keep DS clean so he can wear clothes for 2 days sometimes and I have less washing to do.
Same as when we go out somewhere on public transport vs in the car...in the car it’s fine, get soaked I’ll change you in the car. If we have to get buses home I’m much stricter about him not jumping in puddles.

I think people’s attitudes to germs is really interesting as well. I’m not sure it’s class based though, I think it’s more (in my friends cases anyway) more down to individual circumstances....my friend who had a premature DD cleans everything even though her kids her older, my friend who is a risk analyst (so thinks of what could go wrong) was terrified of weaning. I grew up in the countryside’s and let DS eat brambles but used to hate visiting pils in east London when he was little because of the pollution. DH hasn’t no such worries but still won’t eat anything off the bush!

And I also don’t get this Mumsnet thing of ‘professional’ be ‘nonprofessional’ jobs. I call this bullshit. Every hardworking person who earns an honest living is a professional and that should be it. Class system of UK is bullshit.

All kids manage to get dirty. Some parents care enough about it to clean them, some do not.

I also think it's the type of dirt. I absolutely hate DS with snit, good and sticky stuff on him but mud I couldn't care less about (plus it's good for him). So he can be playing in the garden and come in filthy and I won't bat an eye-lid, but I'll wipe the milk from round his mouth the second he finishes!

Should have said ‘vs’, not ‘be’.

*snot not snit!

Our kids wear an eclectic mix of Boden, Jojo, Frugi, Tu, H&M etc, but always Startrite, barefoot or Geox shoes. They both have scruffy hair styles. We live in an old house that constantly looks like it needs some work doing, drive an older German estate car and our kids do horse riding, French lessons and Beavers

This is the epitome of middle classness @equimum

*food, not good! Do not know what is wrong with me today!

There is a high number of “elites” on this thread so those with incomes of 160k plus & defo pushing their scruffy credentials. This is why I love MN!!

formerbabe, I do kind of agree with you, based on lots of measures, but it’s not something we have consciously strived to achieve, and neither DH or I come from a m/c background, which was sort of the point of my post.

I'm fairly lazy . I suppose I'm MC. My daughter's hair is regularly unbrushed because I'm lazy. My children wear the clothes they choose. So usually mismatched. I pick my battles and would rather the children left the house happy than crying because I've forced them into wearing what I want them to look like. I honestly couldn't give a flying fuck who judges us. I certainly don't judge those who do prioritise making their kids smart. Good on them. So don't judge me and my priorities. Ta.

Is anyone actually familiar with any real 'working class' children?
From what I've seen the last thing their parents would do is ensure clean clothes, maintained cut hair etc.

You're confusing working class with the underclass.

True working class people are generally hard working, conscious of the image they present and aspirational.

People from the underclass live chaotic lives, are more likely to never work and have addiction problems.

They are two very distinct groups of people.

camomila I think ‘being sensible’ is a big part of being in the middle class. We are rural, and you can babarely move in the school playground at drop-off for kids in Mountain warehouse waterproof coats and parents in (ancient) French wellies! It’s certainly not high heels and smart coats round here!

SantaClauseMightWork
Whereas I don't get those on mumsnet who claim there's no real thing as a class system and that there's no difference between having a job and being a member of a profession.
The fact is the class system does exist and some jobs are jobs and others are professions. Much as it might be nice to be super cool and pretend otherwise that's the reality of the world.

I got elite in the test canigetaliein and our household income is £60k!

*You're confusing working class with the underclass.

True working class people are generally hard working, conscious of the image they present and aspirational.

People from the underclass live chaotic lives, are more likely to never work and have addiction problems.

They are two very distinct groups of people*

Wow.

My children’s hair is always brushed and they’re always clean, to be honest I think that’s just basic standards.
More than happy for them to wear hand me downs etc though, and the hand me downs are often Joules/Boden etc as thats what we’re given! No point spending lots of money on stuff that’s going to get trashed. I supplement hand me downs with supermarket stuff, H&M, Zara etc. Parties... well it depends what the party is. Soft play/bouncy castles will be leggings and a top so they can move freely. A ‘disco’ type party and they’ll probably choose a party dress.
I think we fall somewhere in the middle to be honest.

@FestiveNut

Why 'wow'?

i would have that upper mc (elites) would be more into this look