To wonder if middle class children appear more ‘scruffy’

[Workingclass]

Went to a Childs party today for an old school friends DD (they are incredibly middle class) and her group of mum friends (who are equally as middle class)

I admit I don’t usually socialise in many middle class circles but I couldn’t help but notice that all of the children looked... scruffy, for want of a better word.

None of them had brushed their hair, they were all in mismatched clothes with muck on their faces. Didn’t look bathed..

I feel awful saying it, but I notice this also with the MC children at the DC school, has anyone else noticed it? I’m just curious as to why this seems to be a thing? Does my dds plaits and dresses ‘out’ her as having a working class family?

Is it more of a privilege thing? We don’t have much money so am weary of being judged as lazy by not doing her hair, I also make an effort to dress her nicely so she doesn’t look like ‘the poor kid’ is it that if your middle class you don’t have that fear?

Absolutely happy to be told IABU and judgemental but I am genuinely curious on the subject.

@Yerroblemom1923 totally agree. And private school and money didn't equal middle class either

Don't not didn't sorry - predictive text

Totally agree, Scotmum1977.

And private school and money didn't equal middle class either Actually it pretty much does equal mc.by a country mile.its disingenuous to say anything else
Fettes and Loretto with money is a middle class upbringing

I’m trying to work out where I am on the scale. My DD wears a lot of jojo but always second hand and I either look a scuff with a mum bun and muddy shoes or make an effort other days. I think you’re right though op, mc people have less to prove I think.

Underclass: matching tracksuits, pierced ears on babies irregardless of sex, girls with tight plaits (the more intricate the better), boys same haircut as dad. Girls may also be dressed in very fussy frilly dresses and socks. Pink naturally.

Working class: lots of Disney, peppa, Spider-Man mixed in with some Next from the sale. Primark/H&M. Kids mostly clean and tidy. Girls long hair with bows and possible ear piercings. Boys, peaky blinder haircuts. Decent warm coat for the boys. Ridiculous furry thing for the girls.

Lower middle: JoJo, Boden, GAP, mixed in with plain basics from H&M. Girls exclusively have chin length bobs. Boys longer hair but not past the ears. Usually wearing a striped rugby top. Both genders can be found in Breton stripes in the summer with Birkenstock’s. If not sure, check the parents. Is the dad wearing past the knee shorts and a graphic tee from boden? Is the mum wearing a jaunty boden dress and fat face hoodie when it gets cooler? You’ve just found your lower middle class family.

Middle middle: see OPs description.

Upper middle: Some crossover with lower middle, except not so obvious. Boys have floppy hair but not long. Girls may have longer hair. If they have any overweight kids revert back to new lower middle.

Upper: are they on horses? Are they called bunny, binky, mouse or muffy? Is there a straw hat in their uniform list? You’ve just found your upper classes.

HTH

@LipstickHandbagCoffee maybe but @flossietoot defines it as a degree education with one parent also educated to degree level and the bbc definr it based on the occupations of people you know (solicitor or lorry drivers) if you have a pension and if you listen to jazz music or indie. I don't feel I fit into any
Class system based on what I've read!

This is an interesting one. May be true with everyday clothes but I'd say the opposite is true when it comes to the wearing of school uniform. You very often see 'working class' DC wearing trainers to school for example with shirts untucked and top buttons undone. In contrast, parents of 'middle class' DC usually make sure they wear smart black school shoes, shirts tucked in, top buttons done up and blazers on.

I'm not sure why there's a difference but it certainly exists.

No maybe about it,if you’re at Fettes,Loretta et al with money you’re mc
As an aside scotmum You are over invested in protesting how you simply,don’t fit into any class classification. You’re not exempt from it. We are all class bound and defined by it

@Fuckyousanta thanks! I'm still I further forward!
My dd never had her ears pierced but I did love frilly socks and bows!

Don't worry about where you are on the class scale folks, as healthcare professionals really don't care - Just ensure your kids are safe, loved, fed, clean, happy and well-adjusted.

On all of this
I concur

MUMSNET IS MIDDLE CLASS

Really weirdly I have no idea but
We live in a pretty “ middle class / upper class “ area but are “ working / lower class”
I have to admit that my child genuinely looks immaculate and matching I don’t think I put effort in as such but I genuinely just do it without thinking.
We socialise at clubs /school with a lot of open middle class people who probably don’t actually match clothes etc this has not bearing on costs though
One mum I particularly talk to shops in more expensive shops than I do has more expensive clothes for the kids but just doesn’t match them correctly , make hair neat etc.

@lazylumpylou, hmmmmmm. Did you style her hair every morning before school? I think you’re going to have to be working class. The underclass won’t accept you without the pierced ears. Sorry Hun

Will say to a few points

We don’t have many character clothes just pyjamas / odd Tshirr / dress that she chooses.
Only wears tracksuit to dance class
And always in correct school uniform/ shoes.
Cleaned and ironed.

@LipstickHandbagCoffee that's true the "class system" everyone talks about on netmums must exist. I can't escape it. It's just that I don't tick the boxes of any but that doesn't matter as I don't really care either. It isn't something that comes up in my life. I only ever here about it on netmums abc perhaps as a definition for people to describe where they come from etc,

@Fuckyousanta well we can't possibly leave the house unless her hair is in an immaculate french pleat! Don't bath her though

Fuckyousanta that did make me laugh! One thing we can all agree on.is MN is snobby as he'll!

*hell

@Lifecanbeabeach2, lower middle for you. Teetering on the edge of WC/LM unless you bought the character clothes from a charity shop?

I've just found this handy guide, which amused me:

RICH HALL, a US stand-up comic, explained: when you go to work in the morning, if your name is on the front of the building, you're upper class; if your name is on your desk, you're middle class; and if your name is on your shirt, you're working class.

Oh and shop choices

• I don’t shop at next at all for reasons I won’t get in to ha

• shoes - normally Charles clinkard / startrite for school shoes

Boots - kickers / dr martens Trainers - vans or any trainers we see we like as only wear to park and Dance

• clothes

Boden, joules, trotters, monsoon, marks and Spencer, very , H&M, primark, gap, mango , Zara.

You’re still over protesting scotmum
Class comes up as soon as you speak,interact,your demeanour,job,where you live
Yet You seem to think you’re able to opt out or not be judged by such troublesome markers
You are judged daily and you judge too consciously and unconsciously
Are you going to come back and protest,no you don’t enact class?

I grew up working class
Got an ok education. Went to university and a qualified music therapist.
Now stay at home in a council flat in a middle of very middle class area.
( daughter is disabled )
Hahaha I’m basically lower class in a middle class work !

@Lifecanbeabeach2, do any of your children own a wooden sword?

This will be the deciding factor