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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To cancel New Year’s Eve plans at the last minute?

54 replies

whathaveidone814 · 26/12/2018 09:30

Our neighbours invited us to spend New Year’s Eve with them this year with one other couple, who they are good friends with but we have only met once.

We were planning to go out for dinner and dancing at a local restaurant and our neighbours kindly treated DH and I to the £20 deposit.

I then had a text from one of the neighbours on Christmas Eve to say that unfortunately, the other couple have had to drop out due to a bereavement and that it would now be just them and us going out on NYE.

I’m feeling rather anxious about this as we don’t know the neighbours particularly well (they only invited us as a spur of the moment thing after a chat over the fence when we said we had no plans). I thought that as we’d be part of a table of six it would be fine and less pressured, but now we’re facing the prospect of a four-hour sit-down meal plus embarrassing dancing with a couple we don’t even know very well.

I want to text back with an excuse as to why we can’t make it too, but DH says that’s rude and we have to go. All I want is to spend NYE on the sofa with DH and watch crap TV to be honest - especially as I’ve been feeling lousy for the past two days with a bad cold. DH and I are also quite reserved people and not particularly good at making banter/small talk - whereas our neighbours are more outgoing types.

Would it be unreasonable to pull out now (and offer to pay back the deposit of course)? I don’t want to upset the neighbours but I just don’t think I can face it!

OP posts:
DayManChampionOfTheSun · 26/12/2018 09:33

I think it would be a bit of a shit thing to do tbh, why didn't you just say no when they asked originally?

DayManChampionOfTheSun · 26/12/2018 09:35

I mean, I appreciate you thought it would be 6 of you, but that wouldn't change the fact that would rather be at home watching TV with dp.

kaytee87 · 26/12/2018 09:36

It would be a really shitty thing to do.

Nanny0gg · 26/12/2018 09:36

It would be rude, hurtful and very unreasonable.

Do you want hostile neighbours for as long as you live there?

jelliebelly · 26/12/2018 09:38

Cancelling now would be a really shit thing to do. Why do people say yes to things they don't want to do?!? Just suck it up they might be great fun when you get to know them.

Bigkingdom · 26/12/2018 09:38

Don’t do that you will ruin their night out too!

starcrossedseahorse · 26/12/2018 09:38

OP - this is the exact situation that champagne was designed for! Have a few and you will relax a bit and probably have a lovely time.

milienhaus · 26/12/2018 09:39

I think it would be mean - you’re essentially taking away their plans too.

Nicknamesalltaken · 26/12/2018 09:40

Why don’t you ask them if they want to carry on? They might be feeling the same about you.

pasturesgreen · 26/12/2018 09:42

Do you want hostile neighbours for as long as you live there?

^ This!

It might be great fun and you might make friends with your neighbours. You might not, of course, but then you'll know for next year.

It's still five days away, you'll recover from your colds. It'd be pretty shitty to pull out now with a lame excuse, the time to decide you'd rather spend NYE on the sofa was before accepting the invitation.

Belindabauer · 26/12/2018 09:43

It would be very unkind of you to cancel. If I were your neighbour I would never speak to you again if you cancelled.
Why not go, you never know you might really enjoy it.
Also if you prefer to stay in on new years eve, then tell people that from the off, there is nothing wrong with it.

MarthasGinYard · 26/12/2018 09:45

You've let them 'treat you' to the deposit, but now decide you don't know them well enough.

Awful

newmun · 26/12/2018 09:46

I think you should still go. You might actually enjoy yourselves

kaytee87 · 26/12/2018 09:46

Exactly, you must know them well enough to let them spend money on you!?

WizardOfToss · 26/12/2018 09:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 26/12/2018 09:49

Can you find someone else to bolster the numbers? Maybe another neighbour?

luckylavender · 26/12/2018 09:49

I think you should go and your cold may be better by then.

FlippinNora1 · 26/12/2018 09:53

It would be a massively crappy thing to do to cancel on them.

TowerRingInferno · 26/12/2018 09:53

You must go imho. It’s the right thing to do and the fallout will be awful if you don’t.

Argonauts · 26/12/2018 09:55

In future, don’t say yes to things you don’t really want to do.

RCohle · 26/12/2018 09:55

Yep, it would be very rude to cancel. You'll have fun once you're out. Plus NYE is days away, you'll probably be over your cold by then.

BaaBaaBaaMoo · 26/12/2018 09:58

Do ye know another couple ye can drag along too?
You have to go.

Grannyannex · 26/12/2018 09:58

Too late to change your mind.

Tofurkey · 26/12/2018 09:59

YABU I thought it was going to be the other couple you didn't know that you had to go out with! You'll have fun, suck it up and go!

sackrifice · 26/12/2018 09:59

I would text back 'do you want to take a rain check? Happy to pop the £20 deposit over, which we were going to give you back anyway of course'.

i suspect they are telling you this so that you do cancel...