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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To cancel New Year’s Eve plans at the last minute?

54 replies

whathaveidone814 · 26/12/2018 09:30

Our neighbours invited us to spend New Year’s Eve with them this year with one other couple, who they are good friends with but we have only met once.

We were planning to go out for dinner and dancing at a local restaurant and our neighbours kindly treated DH and I to the £20 deposit.

I then had a text from one of the neighbours on Christmas Eve to say that unfortunately, the other couple have had to drop out due to a bereavement and that it would now be just them and us going out on NYE.

I’m feeling rather anxious about this as we don’t know the neighbours particularly well (they only invited us as a spur of the moment thing after a chat over the fence when we said we had no plans). I thought that as we’d be part of a table of six it would be fine and less pressured, but now we’re facing the prospect of a four-hour sit-down meal plus embarrassing dancing with a couple we don’t even know very well.

I want to text back with an excuse as to why we can’t make it too, but DH says that’s rude and we have to go. All I want is to spend NYE on the sofa with DH and watch crap TV to be honest - especially as I’ve been feeling lousy for the past two days with a bad cold. DH and I are also quite reserved people and not particularly good at making banter/small talk - whereas our neighbours are more outgoing types.

Would it be unreasonable to pull out now (and offer to pay back the deposit of course)? I don’t want to upset the neighbours but I just don’t think I can face it!

OP posts:
sackrifice · 26/12/2018 11:39

I would say “I just wanted to check, are you still happy to go ahead wuth the night now XXX have dropped out? Or would you prefer to postpone until there is a date where we can all get together? I just wanted to give you the option, we are fine either way.”

AKA 'take a raincheck'.

Brits are so funny.

whathaveidone814 · 26/12/2018 12:38

I would say “I just wanted to check, are you still happy to go ahead wuth the night now XXX have dropped out? Or would you prefer to postpone until there is a date where we can all get together? I just wanted to give you the option, we are fine either way.”

This isn’t really an option now, as my neighbour already texted saying the other couple can’t come but that she’s really looking forward to it. So for me to text back now and ask this would sound a bit strange. Thanks for the suggestion though.

It’s probably a bit late to find another couple now - and I feel it’s the neighbours prerogative to invite another couple if they want to as it’s “their” night IYKWIM.

Yes they did say they’d treat us to the deposit - we had a discussion where we tried to pay but they insisted. I would obviously return that if we were to cancel.

OP posts:
LakeIsle48 · 26/12/2018 12:56

Your neighbour told you she's really looking forward to it. You committed to going. It would be very poor form not to go. It's only a few hours. Of course you should go.

Pollypopit · 26/12/2018 12:59

Don't cancel its so rude

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