To expect DH to buy a present from baby

[eyesbiggerthanstomach]

I feel ungrateful even mentioning this but it has upset me.

DS is 11 months old and I made it clear to DH that I would be getting him a card from DS and a little token gift. DH got me a lovely card from DS but no gift from him. I did mention it and he just made excuses. I wasn't expecting anything expensive...I bought him socks that said best daddy ever, that is the kind of gift I was thinking of.

This is a regular thing though, no present from DS on my birthday or Mother's Day.

All I want is a little something that says 'mummy'. A tacky key ring, mug, socks....anything! AIBU and spoilt and ungrateful to feel hurt?

YABU. Why do you need tacky stuff that you’re unlikely to use? Sounds like pointless consumerism tbh. He bought you a card which sounds far more thoughtful than plastic shit.

Yes. It’s a very strange idea

I think yanbu and it is good for the child to be involved in gift giving from an early age. I think parents should get something on behalf of their kids til they're old enough to do so themselves. I get DD almost 3 to scribble in cards to people but I still pick the gift.

I've seen posts like this before and people will say you're not your DH's mum.

for you.

Why?? give it a year or so and he’ll make stuff that means something. nursery and school will provide you with mountains of stuff. giving gifts from somebody who has no idea what is going on is a bit strange i think (but then i also don’t understand gifts supposedly from the family cat etc).

I honestly see both sides but I think YABU if you expect DH to find it an important thing to do just because you do it for him.

YABU. DCs have to be old enough to understand gift giving, want to do it and choose the gift. I expect my DCs to use their pocket money for this as well but help them I find they run out before buying for everyone in the family. Seems pointless and silly to expect a gift from a baby.

Bonkers. I'd have thought DH had a screw loose if he expected me to get him a present from the baby.

I think gifts from babies are a bit silly and pointless, they can't choose them so how are they meaningful? Like sending a card any gift from the cat!
Christmas is already wasteful and commercialised, why add to it?

it is good for the child to be involved in gift giving from an early age.

He's 11 months old, for fuck's sake.

Never did that and can’t see the point. When they’re old enough to give then it’s lovely if they choose to do so. But pretend cards and pretend gifts feel a bit odd

Yabu. When the kid is in school you get great stuff from them - I love all their pasta calendars and handprint Christmas stuff. I treasure that way way more than some token gift my partner felt forced to get me.

I think yanbu and it is good for the child to be involved in gift giving from an early age

they are 11 months old.

I think yabu as well. You got a card. Gifts from the baby, the bump, the dog etc are weird and pointless.

How can it be a regular thing when you’ve only had one birthday and mother’s day since the your baby was born? Have you actually told your dh you want something from ds?

What??? Your husband didn’t get you a gift from a baby? Did he get one from him to you? That would be enough I think.

I also find the idea of a card from an 11 months old ridiculous. But each to their own.

Really immature, do you expect cards and gifts to and from the pets?
The baby is a baby...the gift or card isn’t from the baby.
YABU

I agree with you. A mug that said Mum would have been nice for example, you could have drunk your tea from it.

After the season is over I would explain it what you would like in future to your DP. In the meantime get yourself a mug or whatever you fancy.

Happy Christmas.

YANBU. Your DH knew it was important to you. You should be even more explicit about wanting one on the next occasion.

This is a regular thing though, no present from DS on my birthday or Mother's Day.

Take it up with your 11 month old then. After all, the presents are supposed to be "from" him.

How absurd.

We've always done presents from my son since he was born so I think YANBU

I think there's a lot of value in giving gifts "from" a very young child. It adds to the good feeling you develop for your children. The early years can be particularly thankless and it's an opportunity to have that work acknowledged even if the baby isn't aware of it. Recognizing the effort and love put into parenting by your partner towards your child and using a traditional opportunity for gift giving like this to acknowledge that on your child's behalf helps people feel appreciated and like they aren't in on their own. Gifts like worlds best parent socks or mugs with the baby's handprint on give the parent something to look at throughout the year at those points when they just want to scream.

And while, at 11 months, the baby won't have any idea at all of what's given on their behalf or even that it's been given, by next year they will begin to recognise what gifts are and it's important they also begin to realise that they give gifts as well as getting them. Both parents need to provide guidance on this - initially helping them create, choose and pay for the presents, eventually prodding them to do it all themselves. It's the way kids learn that it's important and how to choose a gift for someone else.

We do the same in encouraging our children to get gifts for each other. Initially buying something and having them help wrap, then guiding them in their choices, eventually encouraging them to get gifts for each other themselves.

Parents all seem to know that the fact their child is only 5 and can't buy a gift themselves doesn't mean they don't take a gift to a birthday party. I don't really see this as different. It's both facilitating relationships and teaching social etiquette.

"Parents all seem to know that the fact their child is only 5 and can't buy a gift themselves doesn't mean they don't take a gift to a birthday party."

That's because the party is for a child of a similar age, not a grown adult.

Christmas isn't about presents. They cause so much bother - most of the negative Christmas threads on here are about mismatched present expectations. It's a shame.

You are not BU! Our son is 8months old and my DH got me two presents from him, a Pandora mother/son charm and a locket with his hand/foot print on - I understand where you're coming from OP, it's so nice to have a present that you can say is from the baby (even though they have no idea)

YABU. Everything like that is tat, I can't imagine why anyone would want it. You know you're his mummy, do you really need a mug or keyring to prove it? As others have said, he'll be making you stuff at nursery soon enough, which will actually be from him and you'll treasure.

Before Christmas I was seeing sponsored Facebook ads for cards from 'the bump'. There is no limit to the crap people can be sold.

It's thoughtless of him not to get anything when you've got him something so yanbu

I get you! We always do presents from dd (she's four now but we've done it for a few years before she really knew about it.) I think it's nice.