AUBU to say Christmas has left me feeling a bit... icky

[M0reGinPlease]

DD is 3.5. This is her first Christmas where she has really properly understood what was going on. We bought her a lovely selection of presents plus a stocking, without going overboard in terms of money or stuff.

But she has been given so many presents from family and friends. She hasn't even opened half of them as we didn't want today to descend into 'unwrap... next... unwrap... next' etc. She has three sets of grandparents and two sets of great grandparents plus aunts and uncles and kind friends. She is the baby of the family and I understand people want to spoil her.

But I'm sitting here now looking around the sitting room at it all and it's making me feel kind of... icky. I don't even know the name for what I am feeling to be honest, people have been so kind and generous but she has SO much. Things she will barely play with. It seems excessive and I can't help but think there are children today who will have received nothing.

I will take a selection of things to the charity shops, things she really doesn't need or has barely noticed, or toys she already has that she wants to replace with the new ones. But I can't help but feel that she's only three and it's only going to get worse each year. Short of asking people not to buy her anything, which I don't think is realistic, plus I don't want to seem ungrateful, I don't know how to avoid this next year. It just feels excessive and has left me feeling a bit weird about it all.

I remember speaking to a mum who said she only spent £20 each on her DC as she had such a large extended family. They all bought quite a lot for their DNs. I thought it was quite sad as it meant that wider family who wouldn't know exactly what the child was desperate for were spending so much that really the parents became excluded in order for the child not to become overwhelmed.

I sympathise. We really dialled it back with presents this year, just giving things that they really needed or wanted. Got them (ds6 and dd3) one large present to share in the hope that it will teach them cooperation a bit. My family are pretty good at listening to instructions, so easy to direct. DH’s parents are unimaginative so just want a list - we asked for money that went on a cinema trip and new clothes. Still feels overwhelming and totally unnecessary, though.

I did this last year. I just said to all the family that it was lovely of them to buy a gift for DDs and it was really appreciated, however with the amount of people that bought we were quickly running out of room and I was concerned that toys were only bieng played with a hand full of times before being discarded as there were so many.

I just asked if they still wanted to get them gifts, for Christmas would they possibly be able to buy an item of clothing such as a pair of boots or a dressing gown or pjs and if they wanted to add something 'fun' maybe a selection box, colouring book or magazine.

Then for birthdays would they be able to take them out somewhere whether that be to park for an ice cream, cinema or farm visit whatever budget they wanted to spend on a gift.

I just pointed out that I couldn't pinpoint any 1 gift I'd been given when I was little but still to this day treasured the memories of bieng taken out by aunts and uncles, grand parents etc I do still remember that even now. Nobody thought I was rude at all and I think they quite liked the idea.

I do also like another posters idea of putting money towards swimming lessons/dance class etc they could give them some goggles/tutu to unwrap if they really wanted them to have a physical thing to unwrap, that's a really nice idea.

Yanbu. Dp and I really disagree on this as I would like to take about 50% of Ds1 toys to charity or a food bank etc but apparently I am being a Christmas grinch and “to let kids be kids”!

Whereas I agree w OP, it’s actually pretty disgusting the amount of toys the kids have got, most of which will be opened played once and then discarded. And that’s on top of the toys for birthdays and previous Christmases etc