Am I being unreasonable to feel annoyed at no?

[chocolateandcocktails001]

So before I say anything to him I wanted to see why you guys feel as I do at times appear to over react according to people on here!!
I've been with my boyfriend for a year. We don't live together and we both have have children from previous relationships. I gave him a card which said to the 'one I love' for Christmas but it wasn't soppy at all and was very tasteful. Last year we hadn't been together long and if not met his kids so the card was put away so they couldn't see it. I've now met them quite a few times since then. On Sunday I asked if the kids had mentioned the card. He said they hadn't. They are 12 and 13 too so not little and can understand what's going on.
This morning he sent me a text of when he put the presents out under the tree and I could see the card wasn't in its place. I text and said 'no wonder the kids didn't mention the cards as it's not there is it.' He said that he moved it last night as he was lighting candles but there's another card next to where mine is so why would you move him be and not both? I mentioned that I thought it had been banished to the cupboard again but he just ignored it and changed the subject. I feel upset like after all this time he still feels the need to hide me from his kids. Although the kids know me I don't think he's outright told them I'm his girlfriend and he is never affectionate when at all when I'm there when they are. It just makes me feel rubbish. Am I unreasonable to feel like this?

Yeah you're overreacting

I'm sorry that I was rude, I didn't mean to be but kids are easily embarrassed and he might be embarrassed for his children to see the card. I would. It's understandable for him to be cautious.

Why can you not just enjoy the relationship for what it is at the moment and not try to push it further.

What an odd thing to notice.

His kids have met you a handful of times you bought a card saying to the one I love- whether you think it's tasteful or not, it's still a ststaement. He may not have had that conversation with the kids yet about you being in a serious relationship, and a card like that screams it in your face. The card was out. It's not been out away whilst the kids are there. You have been looking and asking where it is- so clearly it's a thing to you. Maybe look at your motives, and why it's so important he has a card up like that? It seems more about your statement than anything else.

I get that you feel a little bit rejected. Did you send the card as a gesture or because you wanted to see if he would put it out?

If it is the latter then I can see his frustration because he has probably already given you clear indications that he is very careful regarding his kids feelings and then annoyed that you want to push it.

If he is a good boyfriend then deal with your own insecurities and don't feed them with acts that are really tests. If, however, you feel he is not a good boyfriend then perhaps you need to reevaluate and not continue to test things.

I think you should leave it and stop worrying, he is caring for his children, my children went to see their dads new home, hadn't met her (an affair) but saw a card "to the one I love" on display, it upset them, and it was the 1st thing they told me about when they came home. Does it really matter. He didn't tell you the complete truth as he knew you would be upset. Tell him to hurt you with the truth on hurt you will lies.

It’s just a card!
The situation involves children, it’s not straightforward & he’s putting them first which is admirable. Stop looking for problems.

I think for you, this is about announcing to his Family/Friends that you are a proper couple.

How old are your children? His are at a tricky age, depending on what else is going on in their lives. It isn't about how long they've split or if their Mother has a Partner. He is tailoring how he handles this, to suit what his children need.

Speak to him on how you are going to be introduced more as his girlfriend next year.

He knows his Teens personalities and you need to take direction from him.

It's refreshing to hear of a Dad doing what he is.

It sounds like you wanted a reaction from his kids about the card. To the one I love sounds quite permanent and he maybe doesn’t want to disrupt them much with this.

I assume you think he's not that into you which is why you're fixated on the card

Agree with FlashByReputation it's not about the card.

Completely agree with DangoDays.

All these commemts sbout him caring for his kids! They are both almost teenagers. If he is sleeping with the OP and in a romantic relationship with her then I think the caring thing to do would be to be honest.

If he is hiding his relationship with her from them, pretending they are friends only then he is either scared to rock the boat or scared of reactions or perhaps simply doesn't feel the same way as the OP.

So it's clearly not all about a card, it's all about how he feels, how honest he is with the kids and the OP. And also about the OPs pen insecurities, which I think she said she was going to get hrlp with.

The OP may push him away with her indecurotirs5 or he may push her away with his unwillingness to own their relationship. IMHO.

Insecurities