To think a large grown man shouldn't shout at a child this way

[truthtopower]

For context, I'm sharing Christmas with a friend's family. From my side, me and my dd age 5. From hers 3 generations, I know them all reasonably well, more the women than men.

We had a lovely lunch at theirs, then present opening for them when my dd got a bit bored as they had left her present and mine elsewhere so nothing to open, they did apologise, all was fine.

I played with my DD and another same age, both giggling, running, tickling. Unfortunately they ran behind the Christmas tree which is not too tall on plastic stand, it began to topple. At this point my friend's OH shouted, and I mean really shouted, with a lot of anger and force to them to stop. Everyone went silent noone said anything, it completely changed the mood.

AIBU to be really mad at this guy? The way he shouted was completely disproportionate to what the girls did. It's not a fussy house or carefully set up tree, at all. Bit of tinsel, few plastic baubles and flashing lights. He is well over 6 foot, shouting this way at 2 girls under 5. Not adults, so the power balance is completely off. My DD sees him a few times a year, so doesn't know or trust him enough to be parented by him. And has no male in her life, so I'm aware this is one of hey only interactions with an adult man, I don't want her to think this is normal.

No one said anything. Conversation gradually regards started but not as comfortably as before. I'm very conflict averse. Still wondering whether I should have said something if so what. I was aware of not wanting to spoil the day by causing a row. Still thinking maybe I should have stuck up for dd. Or would others accept this as 'discipline'? I could have taken DD and walked out, I didn't. Would that have been an over reaction on my part? She doesn't have anyone else to stick up for her.

The guy made some comment a whole ago about the kids owing him an apology, whereas if anything I think he owes the girls one for being so aggressive towards 2 children. AIBU?

Reminds me of an incident that happened at our house a few years ago. My brother and his family had come to visit and my niece and nephew (they are about 10 and 8, so not small children) decided to literally jump on the furniture and start bouncing on it. Their own parents said nothing. I politely asked them to sit down and was ignored. DH came into the room and said very loudly (some might have described it as shouting) "Oi, get off the furniture". They got off instantly and never did it again.

I have to admit I am imagining something similar happening in OP's situation.

If the kids (presumably only one of which is OP'S) shouldn't have been running he should have said so before something got knocked over. I don't think it's appropriate to shout aggressively at young children.

I agree with @Oblomov18 - shouting is not necessarily abusive or aggressive - sometimes it is what is needed.

It is not unreasonable for an adult to find that a houseful of other adults and children on Christmas day, is becoming stressful, and then when you add in children and an adult, playing a loud, boisterous, shrieky game that results in the tree falling over, I can see how that would be the final straw and would result in someone shouting.

There is nothing terribly wrong with boisterous, loud games, but the OP was the adult, and should have made sure that the boisterous loudness was happening somewhere suitable - not the front room, around the Christmas tree!!