To be pissed off that my mother has JUST changed her mind about coming for Christmas dinner

[yesmelord]

I need a rant. DH is at work all day today, so I'm doing a later Christmas dinner for about 7:30.

It was originally just me, my DD and my DH that I was cooking for but my mum and Dad thought it would be nice if they could come along too and see DD's presents and spend some time with us, along with my little sister.

I couldn't say no to that so agreed that of course they could come for Christmas dinner too.

So I ordered loads more food and a joint beef because they don't like turkey, puddings etc and they have just told me they are really full from lunch and don't want to come to mine for dinner anymore.

It was their idea in the first place!

AIBU to just want to bloody cry. I'm 6 months pregnant. Been alone all day (since 4 am when DD woke up) with a rowdy 2 year old who's been crying for daddy and I've been prepping the food as I've been going.

DD has only just gone for a nap.

There is so much food chopped and cut up ready and my meat is all cooked and for what? It's all going to go to waste.
The table has looked all beautifully set since yesterday. I'm so angry and frustrated with them.

NEVER AGAIN!

YANBU. Even if they were full they should have come and just had a small amount (or better still not got so bloody full if they knew someone was preparing a special meal for their dinner).

Hope you called your sister, and hope she is coming.

Really hope you have a lovely evening.

They are selfish and horrible. Almost like it's been done on purpose. The left overs will be lovely all fried up tomorrow though. Bubble and squeak mmmmmm!

We had a lovely Christmas last year, just the 3 of us, we were also lucky last year as DH wasn't on duty.

Sod it. I'm going to take my bra off (my ribs are in agony) and put my pjs on.

I won't bother in coming years. Lesson learned!
I'll save the food somehow. I'm sure DH will eat a fair bit tonight too. I haven't told him about parents yet, I know he'll be very angry.

Thank you everyone for being so kind!

That is awful! You are pregnant with a toddler and doing Christmas Day on your own. Hard, hard work. They should have been at your house as early as possible this morning HELPING you, not hindering you by deciding really late not to come. Hope your sister comes .

So rude of them

If they were elsewhere for lunch they should have known they wouldn’t eat twice and just arranged to come for sandwiches or a cheese board later.

I would be livid.

Oh you poor thing, that is just so incredibly rude and shitty.
I think I'd distance myself for quite a while a bit and see how they behave.
Outrageous behaviour

We’re all here with you as virtual Christmas guests 🌲💐

there's masses of cheese too for the cheese boards! I forgot all about the cheese boards!

They don't deserve my cheese!

Your posts reek if wanting to please your parents and keep the peace, OP. I don't mean it judgementally but your relationship with your parents is way off balance - you're an adult, with commitments and a family of your own, and it sounds like your parents still see you as a child!

I couldn't say no to that so agreed

Yes, you can.

You don't have to do what they want!

You also don't have to quietly seethe with justified anger when they (rudely, inconsiderately) bail on agreed plans.

Why are you putting up with this and not challenging their behaviour?

If doesn't have to be a screaming match fight, but not do you have to be a doormat and accept shitty behaviour. There is a middle ground which I suspect you've never explored. Maybe a new year resolution?

I completely sympathise with you, I'm also 6 months pregnant and currently elbow deep in Christmas Dinner, with 4 kiddies running round shouting 'why isn't it ready yet' lol I've been up since six and on my feet since 8, I just want to sit and put my feet up lol I just keep chanting, it's only for one day!

That's so fucking rude - poor you.

Wipe your eyes, take your bra off and get comfy.

Get sorted for your DH coming come, tell him what happened and agree that if the cheeky fuckers ask again next year, then they'll be told to sod off because they couldn't be arsed to turn up last time.

Enjoy the rest of your day and don't let them get you down

There's a positive, you don't have to share your cheeseboard.

And agree, it's not hormones making you upset its shitty behaviour from your parents.

How bloody rude! So unfair on you, i cant believe your mums attitude. Use the extra veg for a really nice bubble and squeak tmr morning with a fried egg for breakfast.
And extra cheese is just a win all round tbf, eat what you are allowed to and the non unpasteurized stuff can be cooked to use in some recipes. Enjoy knowing you dont have to make any efdort to socialise this eve

Next year, just don't invite them at all. If they say last minute they want to come, plan for nothing more than a few sandwiches.

Or say sure you can come next year - I have all the food waiting for you from last year!!!!

Well, that's darn rude!!! But, if they'd come they'd probably just have picked or pushed the food around their plates moaning "I'm still full from lunch". You'd still have massive leftovers to deal with. Look round and freeze everything you don't want to bother with. Shred cheese freezes fine for mac cheese or other melted cheese dishes. Even cooked veg will freeze, puree and add it to soup or dump in stew at the last minute.

At least this way you'll be able to wear your jams all day. And today is the day to let your toddler have snacks and watch telly or videos as much as she wants. One day isn't going to hurt her and may buy you some peace.

I can't believe your parents did that to you! I'd be really upset too. Why on earth did they stuff themselves silly all day. I'm so sorry OP. I bet you were looking forward to it too. I think your sister should have a word with them. Don't offer them dinner next time. If they pop in..just a mince pie & cheese board will do for them!

You are absolutely right OP, they don’t bloody deserve your cheese. Enjoy your PJs, put the TVon for the DC and have a lovely time with DH when he gets back.

That's rude and ungracious, I hope your dd or your sister tells them. You can have a delicious bubble n squeak tomorrow, the cheese will keep, put your feet up, relax when you can and enjoy yourselves tonight, is your sister coming over.

My sister is only 15 and won't really go against what our mum has said.

Left overs for the next week I think! All this has put me in such a spin that I don't feel hungry at all my self now.

DD is having an extra long nap but I just need some peace and quiet. I'll get it in the neck tonight though, she can watch as much tv and have as many goodies as she likes today and tomorrow though.

DH is Home! I'm going to try cheer up now and have some fun this evening!

Thanks again everyone! You've all been really lovely and cheered me up loads!

That is just so incredibly rude of them especially knowing you are pregnant and doing the day all your own 💐
Hope DH will be back soon so you can put your feet up ☕️

We don't have the best relationship but I always try really hard with her - I was going to say stop fucking trying, but your poor little sister. I haven't had dinner yet either, I started on the wine so the meat is cooked potatoes are in and we are hoping for parsnips ...!!

Just think twice about everything with your parents in future. I assume they have form. I would be so honoured if one of my daughters said I could come for dinner, they are only teenagers now but very independent and I can imagine them kayaking up the Andes or something on Christmas day whilst I am sat with a cracker. So to be invited to their houses, what utter bliss that would be. Your parents sound so ungrateful and selfish.

Have to stop typing now I have had quite a LOT of prosecco.

That was so bloody rude of them.

I hope you have a lovely evening with your DH now.

Leftover or unused veg - make soup and freeze. Cheese can also be frozen. Job's a good'n. Nothing needs to be wasted.
Enjoy not having to entertain them!

with the veggies:soup.bubble and squeak.roast and make into a pasta sauce and with the cheese make a veggie lasagne?you could put some of the beef in that even.
beef curry.
stiry fry.
stew and dumplings.
cheese fondue.
just a few practical things there.
im sorry this happened today.its just not a nice way to spend your day when its been shat on.but don't react to it her shitty behaviour doesn't deserve ur good heart being in pain and misery.
react by saying "no you cant have my chrismtas,you cant have my emotions in turmoil" and go do whatever it is that will make you calm,smiling and feeling good again.