Partner went back to bed!!

[Maccy26]

So Christmas morning....kids really good and don't come into us until 7:30am(bloody amazing as they usually get up between 6-6:30) I get uo leaving dp to get up by 8am. I then go to work for 2 hours (carer) I come home to find Dp has gone back to bed leaving the kids downstairs!!!
I admit this does happen if I have work on a Sunday and the kids (6 and 4) were absolutely fine and happy but aibu to expect better today CHRISTMAS Day??? It just feels so mean!

You can't leave a four year old unattended whilst you sleep- that's just ridiculously shit parenting!

No, it's not. Four year olds don't need 24/7 supervision.

Thanks everyone.
I'm still a bit cross but determined to move on (for the moment!) and make sure the kids have a great Christmas.

It just felt a bit different that it was on Christmas day.
As for other times, the kids are happy and sensible, nothing is left out that could hurt them and they are up and down the stairs like a go-to if they want/need something (I think it's a waste of time personally and would rather go back to bed later so I'm not disturbed)
Thanks again and merry Christmas!

It's not a safeguarding issue it's a who is cooking the bloody dinner issue. Lazy sod could have at least had kids in room

Popping for a shower and 4 year olds being left in their room before bed are different scenarios - I'd do the same with my four year old. Would I hop back in bed and fall asleep properly (therefore unaware of what's going on for a protracted amount of time whilst my child is playing downstairs, with likely access to a kitchen and potential hazards)? No way. Irresponsible IMO, but only you know your children and the risks you'd take

My parents used to do this once we’d opened our presents - went back for a doze while we played! We were fine, we were happy - it want a problem. Definitely not a safeguarding risk

Wow, mumsnet at its finest. Safeguarding issue!
The op admits that she does it if she works on a Sunday and they are fine.
While it might be a bit mean on Christmas Day some of you need to get a grip. The kids are fine and happy in their own home

Actually during my recent training with nspcc on safeguarding, being left alone whilst the sole adult in charge is in bed asleep was highlighted as a cause for concern specifically because its happening so often

Never heard of someone leaving a 6&4 year old alone whilst they sleep UPSTAIRS, maybe on the sofa but not upstairs 🤔

How can you possibly compare a 4 & 6 year year old alone with a parent asleep upstairs with a 4& 6 asleep upstairs with parents awake downstairs. That’s crackers. I guess the question is how much potential is there for getting into mischief ? How long is he sleeping for and how deeply does he sleep? Any longer than a 20 minute nap I would say it was irresponsible. People generally overestimate children’s ability to respond appropriately in an emergency which is why you see children running and hiding in cupboards and under beds when there are fires etc ( when they could have got out the house). There Is also a difference between nodding off on the sofa and taking yourself off to bed since you’re much more likely to go into a deep sleep and miss the catastrophic event happening. And if you think nothing could happen my parents had a fire from an integrated appliance that couldn’t be stopped even though my dad found it very early. Half the house was damaged. So, pretty shit parenting all round I think ( PS I worked in child protection for 7 years)

Wow some of you lot must be really shit parents if you think this is ok?

Pottering around doing housework while keeping an ear out is completely different to going to sleep upstairs!

He sounds utterly useless OP. If my OH thought his precious beauty sleep was more important than watching our children I’d honestly bin him personally.

Four year olds don't need 24/7 supervision. good lord.

Are people mad saying this is okay?

Is the 6yo responsible?

What? Responsible for looking after a 4yo.

He was a lazy bastard going back to bed, and fucking your kids off on Christmas Day cos you want a kip is mean and selfish AF.

I would be fuming! And I would also never leave two very small children to their own devices whilst I went back to bed.

Can’t believe anyone thinks it’s ok
He’s irresponsible and lazy

How much sleep do you really think he's getting with two small children playing downstairs?

Wheyy people will common sense are on the thread

The issue is that for 2 hours a week a father can’t look after his children he leaves them alone to sleep

It’s awful behaviour

Yes finally, some people with common sense. Leaving a four and six year old downstairs for two hours because the adult decides to go back to bed to sleep is wrong. If anything did happen, there would be absolutely no justification for the children being unsupervised.

@adaline my DH can sleep for 3 hours on the sofa with DD playing next to him, so 2 hours im guessing

If they're running upstairs I doubt he's in a deep sleep.

four year olds don’t need 24 hour supervision
Err yes they do. Am hoping some people are just drunk tonight.

I wouldn't be able to sleep knowing my 4 year old was downstairs unattended with my 8 year old never mind a 6 year old. That's way too much responsibility to place on the 6 year old.
Kids can bicker and fight - a 6 year old might not be paying much or any attention to what the 4 year old is doing.
You can't rely on a 6 year old to come and wake you up when something bad happens - presumably by then the bad thing would have already happened and it's too late by then!
I'd be furious. And anyway it's Christmas Day ffs - it's all about the kids and spending time with them, not going back to bed!

I'd be livid. A 6 yr old cannot be responsible for a 4yr old. Sad and bad parenting. And for all that think this is not a safeguarding incident it most definitely would be if any harm had come to one of those kids.

I think it's pretty shit patenting on a normal day let alone on Xmas day. Why does he have to go back to bed? If he's tired go to bed earlier!

Err yes they do. Am hoping some people are just drunk tonight.

So you never leave your four year olds alone - ever? Never let them play in their rooms unattended or leave them alone to go to the toilet or have a shower or take the rubbish out @Mrskeats ?

How do you think single parents manage? Do they never do anything alone unless their kids are in bed? Don't be daft - four year olds can go to school, they can be left unattended in a child-proofed home for a couple of hours while their dad dozes upstairs!

No different to them playing in their rooms while mum naps on the sofa or similar.

Leaving a 4 year old to go for a wee is a completely different story and you know it, I'm a single parent, I should know

In the 5 mins it takes me to go for a wee if something happens I'm there like a shot, alert, wide awake and fully aware of what's going on. The same situation if they're playing in their room alone.

Asleep on the sofa? Same premise. Not that I ever have done it but I'm assuming it's the same.

Asleep in bed on a completely different level of the house in a deeper sleep? Not a chance of me being able to mitigate any disaster before it turns into a disaster, that's even if the 6 year old is fully aware enough to know to come and get me and explain whats going on.