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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let her open her presents?

64 replies

ThePeachPit · 25/12/2018 08:36

I know it’s Christmas morning and everyone’s probably busy.

But ex was supposed to come at 8 to see dd open her Christmas presents and have breakfast with her. I sent my new partner away after we did stockings and a few gifts upstairs and ex hasn’t even turned up. No calls/messages and he’s not responding to mine.
Am I unreasonable to just let her open her presents now and if he turns up, tough he’s too late!

OP posts:
Littleraindrop15 · 25/12/2018 08:37

If not here by 9 then go ahead

Eviecee · 25/12/2018 08:37

Did you have a time agreed that he'd arrive?

spugzbunny · 25/12/2018 08:37

I think you need to wait a bit longer. Maybe 9/9.30? He's an arse though - he should understand how important it is for children

harrypotterfan1604 · 25/12/2018 08:37

YANBU! let her open them. Merry Christmas

scarbados · 25/12/2018 08:37

He's the one who's BU. Let her open them.

happyasasandboy · 25/12/2018 08:38

Yup, let her open them. He can't expect her to wait for him with no idea when he'll be there on Christmas morning.

If he messaged at 7.50 to ask you to wait for 9am that'd be fair enough, but if he won't respond to messages then you have no responsibility to wait.

Original poster
ThePeachPit · 25/12/2018 08:42

He did pay towards them. Not in a gives me maintenance way, but actually gave separate present money, so he hasn’t got her any presents himself, well maybe a few things for his I’m not sure. But definitely not her main presents.

I might give him till 9! But we’re kinda stuck upstairs, which is annoying. Dds eating her satsuma and chocolate coins, because she’s hungry.

OP posts:
italiancortado · 25/12/2018 08:45

Take her downstairs and let her open them. Don't make the day about him. He isn't there so tough. This is for your DD. Her feelings are the most important. I would t have given him any more than 10-15 minutes.

Original poster
ThePeachPit · 25/12/2018 08:45

He’s a dickhead though! She keeps going to the bedroom window to look for his car.

OP posts:
Jackshouse · 25/12/2018 08:47

Maybe wait until 9 but yes he is a dick.

Does he pay child maintenance as well? If not get that sorted.

Neverunderfed · 25/12/2018 08:48

Why can't you go downstairs and get breakfast etc?

gamerchick · 25/12/2018 08:48

Take her down for breakfast. It's unfair to make her wait then I'd let her open.... Maybe holding a couple back if you're feeling generous.

PeroniZuchini · 25/12/2018 08:49

Can your dd just not wait to open her presents later? We’ve always done presents after (late) lunch in our house, and it does make the excitement stretch out for longer!

XmasPostmanBos · 25/12/2018 08:49

Get her to send him a text herself with a photo of her waiting.

TidyDancer · 25/12/2018 08:49

Wow he sounds fantastic doesn't he? I'd give him until 9, text and leave a message perhaps to say that, and then let her get on with it. Film it all. Don't give him any ammunition for having a row with you about it. You'll have done everything you can to give him a chance to be part of it.

Original poster
ThePeachPit · 25/12/2018 08:51

our stairs go down into our living room. So if we go down she sees her presents. He wanted to be here for that part, that’s what he said anyway.
Her main gift is a balance bike, so it’s set up with a ribbon on, not wrapped.

OP posts:
Original poster
ThePeachPit · 25/12/2018 08:53

She’s only two and a half.

OP posts:
MrsMoastyToasty · 25/12/2018 08:53

Do breakfast in bed for you and her. Just some toast will be enough. It can be her special treat.

Original poster
ThePeachPit · 25/12/2018 08:55

We’ll be at my parents for lunch Peroni and will have presents there.

I text a bit ago to say he’s got till 9 and he finally text back. Can you wait till 9:30, I’ve just got up. Dds been up since 6!

OP posts:
Marley45 · 25/12/2018 08:58

Honestly there is no way I’d keep my two year old hungry and restless upstairs because a grown man can’t be arsed to get out of bed on time to come and see his daughter on Christmas Day. Sod that!

Original poster
ThePeachPit · 25/12/2018 08:59

Ha, she’s not eating toast in my bed MrsMoasty.

I’m sure he’s doing it on purpose!

OP posts:
Original poster
ThePeachPit · 25/12/2018 09:01

I replied back 9:15 and I’m taking her down. He’s only 5 mins away, he can throw some clothes on and come straight here.

OP posts:
NameChangeOhNameChange1 · 25/12/2018 09:01

Take her downstairs. He's being a dick

GodrestyemerrySchadenfreud · 25/12/2018 09:01

The presents are from Santa!

Let her open them!

bridgetreilly · 25/12/2018 09:06

The presents are from Santa!

No, they are from her parents.

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