Wedding 10th November, No Thank You...yet

[PlainVanilla]

Went to a wedding in the UK on 10th November. I have not yet had a thank you for my present, not very exciting just GBP250 in cash. Cannot have been lost as went to the mother of the groom's house and I saw it in situ.
This is a bit off, isn't it?

Wedding etiquette says within 6 months. We waited till we had our professional photos back and had to get the cards made and wrote.

My BIL was married in March. We gave them £2000 towards their honeymoon. Received a thank you note inside a Christmas card! So I’d give them the benefit of the doubt. My BIL is a nice enough chap, just chronically disorganised.

We married 8 weeks or so ago and we have only just sent out our thank you cards as we were waiting for the photographer to send through the high resolution photos so that we could have the cards printed.

As the photographer took 6 weeks to finish the edit and then the printers took a week to actually produce the cards & send them to us, there wasn’t much we could do to speed things up. I guess we could’ve used generic thank you cards but we felt strongly that we wanted personalised cards

Honeymoon not until next year.
Mother of the groom had a wedding photo on her window sill the day after.
I would be happy with an e-mail or text message, just to know they actually got the present.

@PlainVanilla YABVVVU. It's only been a few weeks, get a grip.

We went to a wedding in September of a lovely couple we know, and gave them cash in an envelope. (I won't be so vulgar as to say how much it was.) They thanked us when we popped the envelope with the money in it into the 'letterbox' at the wedding, and their parents thanked us too.

I never even expected a thank you card or letter as they had already thanked me in person! I think in 2018, it's a bit precious to kick off about not getting a thank you letter, especially if they thanked you in person! I have heard a couple of people whine about not getting a thank you card for a gift they gave for a wedding or birthday, (even though the receiver thanked them in person!) And yet these same people don't give Christmas cards, because we are giving to charity instead...

The couple in question actually did pop a thank you card through our door in early December - 10 weeks after the event. I was surprised as i didn't expect it. And I certainly hadn't stewed over it for two and a half months.

Goodness, I had no idea I was being unreasonable. We sent thank you letters, handwritten, not printed cards, as soon as we received a present.

My niece, who married in August, also sent very prompt thank you letters.

Well bully for you, and your niece!

A lot of people have better things to do than sit and hand write multiple dozens of letters to people as soon as they have got married, especially if they thanked everyone in person.

To those, who think a thank you letter is out of date, you and I would probably not get along! What happened to plain "good manners"?

Yeah you're right, you definitely would not be someone I would want in my friendship group. Can't be doing with precious, high maintenance people. There are a few posters on here who would be ghosted VERY quickly if they were my friend! So many precious, entitled, grabby people, kicking off and throwing their toys out of the pram because a person who thanked them for a gift IN PERSON, didn't send a card too. Pathetic. High maintenance much?!

Personally, I think leaving it longer than a month is a bit rude. Unless they are waiting for wedding photos to come through, which takes a few weeks for most people.

We got married on the Friday, had our photographer send our posed "thank you" photos over the weekend which I had express printed on card and sent next day delivery. Wrote up the thank you cards and posted them all before we left for our honeymoon on the Wednesday morning.

A lot of people have better things to do than sit and hand write multiple dozens of letters to people as soon as they have got married

There was nothing more important to us than showing our genuine gratitude to our closest friends and family for everything they have done for us. The fact that this is so far down on some people's list of priorities is genuinely baffling to me. Seeing as some people had given us money to spend on our honeymoon, I wouldn't have been able to properly enjoy my holiday without having thanked everyone in advance, but perhaps that's just me - I understand different people have different priorities.

AH, but they didn't thank me in person because they were never physically handed the present. It went with other "stuff" (also presents, cards etc.) to the mother of the groom's house.
And actually, especially in this day and age of instant communication, I think it is very rude indeed not to thank people promptly.

I went to a friend's wedding reception in May (after being demoted from day guest to evening). Gave £50 in a card, in the wedding post box they'd set up for purpose.
Saw a post on fb weeks later about them sorting out their Thank you notes. Not heard a thing.

Ah well.

What is the 'thing' about waiting for photos? Why should that stop people from writing a thank you note? Ludicrous and pretentious nonsense! Just buy a bloody notepad!!

heatherjayne1972 you still could have sent thank you cards, you knew they'd got you something, just not what they got you

We went to a wedding in July and the thank you cards were sent out in November.

Bollocks to that. I wrote a couple of thank you LETTERS each day while on honeymoon!

Rock and roll \m/

I’m getting married next year and our photographer will send us thank you cards- we’ve been quoted 6-10 weeks. So we are tied to that- this seems to be the norm for all the weddings I’ve been to.

Give it 3 months OP, if it still doesn’t show they Abu!

Someone once told me that the thank you cards should be sent within the first year of marriage. To be honest with a wedding in November, depending in the lenght of honeymoon I woukd not be expecting one till January.

You sound quite aggressive about this , calm down , they wil thank you in due course . Do you think £250 was a huge amount and you should get priority ?

That's my wedding anniversary. That aside it's rude for you not to have received a thank you by now

No one needs a photo of the bride & groom as a thank you card, that comes across as a little arrogant as if we all want to see a picture of the happy couple . I can just about understand it if the present giver was not at the actual wedding but for everyone else a plain card or letter is absolutely fine,
And lots of brides & grooms don’t know who has given them a gift on the day so there isn’t an opportunity to say thank you at the time.

Between the two of you can you really not get your acts together to write 'thank you for your gift of xxxx ' to 50 people. How precious. !
Perhaps if people decided they couldn't be arsed to take their time to buy you a wedding present then attitudes might change.
When I got married we also wrote our thank yous on Honeymoon. We 'managed' to fit it in between sightseeing , sunbathing and shagging really not hard and all this '3-4 months' 'a year' is just pathetic . It's about priorities and manners. These shouldn't be put to the back of the queue.

We squeezed in a week's holiday leaving the day after our wedding- we were constrained because the day we got back DH went on a month-long exercise in preparation for a six month tour which he left for two and a half months after we got married. So unfortunately I didn't have any help in designing, ordering, writing (personalised messages referencing each guest's kind gift) or posting the 50+ cards, whilst also working FT, running the house on my own and preparing for exams. I'm generally pretty prompt with thank you notes etc but thankfully our guests understood that in this instance we had other things on our minds before they eventually went out 5 months post-wedding. As long as I got a sincere thank you of some form within a year I wouldn't give a fuck.

Someone told me that the rule was 1 year limit on thank you cards and gifts... think sometimes people have a lot of random admin or things to catch up with after the wedding and the cards can take a while.

That said 250 is a big present so it would have been nice if they had dropped even a quick msg to say thanks.
( my dh’s Aunt and uncle gave us 200 gbp and I left it to him to say thanks, befire we got the cards sorted as only he has their contact details. Not 100 pct sure he ever did it befire we sent their card, 10 months later though!!)

We got married in June, our thank yous probably didn’t get sent until mid-July at least and that’s without having Christmas to plan and sort for. Personally I probably would have killed two birds with one stone and sent thank you/Christmas cards as one combined thing but maybe they have other plans.

We had a week gap between our wedding and honeymoon. I wrote all thank you card during that week (and I was working).

We went to a wedding 18 months ago and another 9 months ago and have not received a thank you from either. I think it's rude.

Yes I generally get a thank you card a few months after going to a wedding however I have never, ever waited for one counting the days. If one didn’t arrive I don’t think I’d notice, I certainly wouldn’t be posting an AIBU.

Also £250?!

I am disappointed but not terribly surprised by the views here. It's a one way street isn't it? All take take take, me me me. Good manners cost nothing & whilst a written thank you card is so obviously the gold standard, in these days of instant communication, a phone call a text or an email us better than not thanking at all. Waiting for wedding photos is just more bridezilla behaviour. If it takes that long then you're in the wrong, so clearly.

You know, if I'd got married in November, I'd probably be thinking the week between Christmas and New Year was a perfect time to sit down and write my thank you cards. I wouldn't be thinking, oh I must do all of those before Christmas, when I have a ton of other things that also have to meet that deadline.

Sad that some people think thank you cards are outdated. But not surprising. I have not received any kind of thanks, text or card, for several wedding/new baby presents in recent years. So rude.