AIBU Father Christmas can bring the kids whatever I want him to?

[BJacks86]

Aware this may of been posted and sorry if it has.

We have been doing elf on the shelf on the run up to Christmas over the period the elf has been slowly bringing the kids Christmas things - Pyjamas, Bedding, Christmas books and a Gingerbread making kit. I didn't think this was unreasonable and a great way to give them Christmas things before Christmas day.

After a conversation with my SIL she lectured me on what Father Christmas and the elf should bring my kids... so it's 'fair'. We aren't spending Christmas day with them so shouldn't I be allowed to give them scooters/tablets from Father Christmas if I want to, along with presents from the elf?

SIL sounds like she has gone Christmas crazy. Do you own thing. It will all be over in a day or so.

You may do what ever you like, whilst being gently amused by your SIL!

Tell her to FTFO

Nothing to do with your SIL what you Santa choose to spend on or give to your DC.

I don't understand what she means by fair - fair to whom? Father Christmas, The Elf or your children ?

But whatever she means, it is none of her business. Just carry on with whatever you want to do.

I think you should do what you like BUT personally I think it’s nicest for Father Christmas to bring smaller gifts and bigger things to come from mum / dad etc as when kids go back to school some of those who didn’t get much can end up feeling upset as they wonder why FC can bring Bob etc an iPad and they didn’t get one.... when FC is meant to be magic etc.

But that’s just my personal view.

For clarification, I believe she means fair to her children as things aren't equal.

My and DH like to give the gifts from Santa rather than us, and with there being a limited amount of time the kids can enjoy Santa we sort of thing why not let them enjoy/help the magic as much as we can.

So that what is fair?
If my SIL had said that I'd have snorted tbh.

Do you live with SIL? How on earth does it affect her children?

Does she mean there should only be a couple of cheap presents from father Christmas/elves and more expensive things attributed to whoever actually bought them? My understanding of this is so that children from less privileged families don't feel that they've done something wrong or that santa doesn't like them as much as the well off child in their class, who got lots of expensive gifts from santa while they got a small puzzle and a chocolate orange (for example)

And I don't understand this 'giving Christmas things before Christmas' either. Why? Christmas is special. Because it's Christmas. Why give Christmas things beforehand?

I think the general attitude around Santa giving is... Kids go to school.

What did Santa get you?

He got me a tablet, a bike, a watch, a pony and a gold tiara. Mommy said its because I'm good. What did Santa buy you??

I got a wooden car and a box of maltesers.
I guess I just wasn't good enough

I’m love the idea of it not being fair on Father Christmas! Do what you want but personally I’d never give an imaginary fat man in a red suit the credit when it comes to the big ticket items. That’s all mine!

Hrm. You can do whatever you like, of course, but personally I think it's a bit of a dodgy message to send the kids - that Father Christmas likes rich kids more, and gives them more stuff. I think little things go in stockings and big things come from parents.

But your family, I guess, and your way.

As long as you don't make out other family members presents are from FC then do what you like.

Does she mean there should only be a couple of cheap presents from father Christmas/elves and more expensive things attributed to whoever actually bought them? My understanding of this is so that children from less privileged families don't feel that they've done something wrong or that santa doesn't like them as much as the well off child in their class, who got lots of expensive gifts from santa while they got a small puzzle and a chocolate orange (for example)

This can be an issue but not sure what can be done about it tbh.

The giving Christmas before Christmas. Christmas pyjamas to wear on the run up to Christmas rather than in January, bedding for the same reason, books again stories about father Christmas for the run up to Christmas, and ginger bread as an activity again before Christmas. Would of thought this bit was self explanatory.

I really think it’s unlikely that the average child thinks about these things in the same depth as people who are concerned about this think they do.

Do what you want in your own home with your own kids.

Although yes as a pp said don’t pass off granny’s presents as from Santa, that’s batshit.

My SIL kids are additionally getting similar presents to mine. We tell them all gifts from family are from them.

As for going to school, my kids are quite young and they've had different priced Christmas' as someone said I don't really know what the solution is unless someones going to start policing parents even more than they do already.

Our elves have brought loads of stuff. I don't care what anyone says, we all do things differently. Your SIL is being crazy.

We do all the kids presents that we buy from Santa, but they are told that Santa sends us an invoice in the new year.
My mum told me that (when I started asking questions around the time the band aid song was out, saying why doesn't Santa bring toys for every kid regardless of rich or poor?) and I believed until I was nine.

I knew that elf would be trouble...

we do the elf too, and also our elf has brought a few things- bedding, books, crafts, and today a Christmas eve bag with pj's etc, nothing to do with anyone else what so ever
regarding saying all presents are from Santa, that's not such a good idea, as your dc will question at some point as mine did, why everyone gives them gifts apart from you, and also to keep it 'fair' for poorer kids, so couple of presents from Santa, rest from you and everyone's happy (we do stockings and about 2 or 3 gifts from Santa, rest from us)

I used to give Xmas colouring books on 1st December rather than 25th. Much more exciting colouring during the run up than once 25th was over.

Do it however you like. Our presents come from FC and all you need to do is ensure your children know that Christmas is different in all families, many of the children where I live don’t celebrate Christmas at all.

Glad people agree she's being ridiculous, obviously what Santas up to may change over the years but currently my DD's are 4 and almost 3, so we don't need to come up with an extensive story.

Santas also bringing presents for 'bump' (I'm pregnant) and SIL thinks that Santa only brings presents to children, who are born?? Obviously not really getting that we are trying to increase the excitement/awareness of the impending arrival.