AIBU Father Christmas can bring the kids whatever I want him to?

[BJacks86]

Aware this may of been posted and sorry if it has.

We have been doing elf on the shelf on the run up to Christmas over the period the elf has been slowly bringing the kids Christmas things - Pyjamas, Bedding, Christmas books and a Gingerbread making kit. I didn't think this was unreasonable and a great way to give them Christmas things before Christmas day.

After a conversation with my SIL she lectured me on what Father Christmas and the elf should bring my kids... so it's 'fair'. We aren't spending Christmas day with them so shouldn't I be allowed to give them scooters/tablets from Father Christmas if I want to, along with presents from the elf?

I kind of agree. I think it's awful when kids are all excited about their new bike or tablet and the other kid whose family are struggling is left wondering why Santa didn't bring him anything near as nice and whether he just wasn't good enough. I think it's a little considerate thing you can do to make sure all the children feel equal. Is it really so bad to just say mummy bought you this console but the games are from Santa?

Of course you can do what you like, but I agree with your SIL.

Father Christmas only fills stockings in our house.

To complicate matters as we live in Germany the "ChristKind" (who is a kind of fairy and not the Christ child, even though its name means the Christ child...) delivers the main presents, but they are all from actual people - so the Christ Kind is a kind of postal worker who works on Christmas eve...

No elves here though thank goodness, except DC3 who wears a Christmas hat to put decorations up and proclaims himself to be the decorating elf, and is a bit elfin...

I do think it's rather "I'm alright Jack" and egotistical to acknowledge that it's a bit shit for other children to believe that Father Christmas / Santa gives some children ipads and bikes and Nike trainers but others a new pack of felt tips from pound-land, yet shrug and say "Very Sad, but I can do what I want, so sod them and won't admit that my children's presents are bought by me just to save their cousins and school friends wondering why Father Christmas/ Santa brings mine so much".

Stockings from Santa in this house. Gifts are labeled from whoever gave them.

My parents used to do stockings and one gift from Santa and the rest labeled from whoever gave them.

Why would Santa get all the credit. He gets the credit for delivering them though.

To answer, my SIL is bothered just about the concept of even having the elf bring gifts - as hers doesn't bring gifts. And she likes Father Christmas to deliver and contribute a couple of presents. We most likely wouldn't spend Christmas with them anyway, as she has a lot of different views on family than me and DH.

I like attributing it to Santa we get the credit for birthdays, I don't need Christmas as well, as I've said in a few years they'll know its me so its only a little bit of time they can be all wrapped up in excitement of Santa.

Agree with sil. Maybe she worded it badly? I dont do the elf. I tell my kids its the naughty ones who have the elf visit as they need a closer eye kept on them! Its your business what you do obviously but i think some of the magic is taken away with these daily treats.

Have you read "Horrid Henry's Christmas"? (In "Horrid Henry gets rich quick":the book is a different story to the TV episode based on it). That should pretty much explain why your SIL doesn't want you coming over with loads of things for your child that gets won't get (You would be Rich Aunt Ruby in the tale).

I honestly think a series of presents in the run up to Christmas and then giving a 4 year old a tablet on Christmas Day is a bit much, but it’s your child, you can do what you like.

Who are you not spending the day with? Your kids or your SIL? Post can be read ambiguously.

Poppies - she obviously means she isn't likely to spend Christmas with her SIL and HER family, not that she won't be spending it with her own children 🤦‍♀️

At the end of the day, do what makes you and your family happy. There are no set rules and people do Santa differently. I think if you were spending Christmas Day with your in-laws then you do need to be a bit more equal in terms of how you approach things so one set of children don’t end up with a mountain and others little but otherwise crack on.

By trying to get you to change, your sil is implying her way is right and you’re wrong and a few of the posts above are like that too. You just approach things differently, that’s all. Unless someone regulates Christmas there will always be differences in value, quantity etc of gifts and there will be differences in the effort that different families make with various aspects of Christmas.

It's none of SIL's business what you do in your own home, she sounds very controlling. Hopefully you can just ignore her.