I agreed with DH that we wouldn't 'do Santa' and now I want to. Aibu?

[Ineedtonamechangenow]

DH had a JW upbringing. He's no longer JW and had his first Christmas with me.

He's intensely uncomfortable with the idea of father Christmas. We agreed we would do stockings but not perpetuate the myth that santa exists.

My boys are now one and two and today I realised that I really want to put out a carrot and mince pie and large glass of whiskey . DH straight away and said he didn't want to.

Aibu? We agreed before we had kids and now I'm here I just feel so sad. He's also on about doing a 'deep clean' on boxing Day as we're hosting on the 27th. It doesn't feel like Christmas

I don't like the lies at all, either.

Next year OP, I would talk to him in advance and suggest that you would like to talk to the children about the story of Father Christmas. Then you can do lots of the fun things, but everyone will know that it is pretend. Pretending is still very fun for children!

I’m a bit uncomfortable with the lying too. But we’ve gone with ds’s lead. He’s 5 now and this is the first year we’ve put out snacks for Santa and rudolf.

I mean, it's got to be hard for him to basically change his whole culture and upbringing about Christmas. I think it'll take some time for him to enjoy it (if ever), and you knew his views beforehand. Watching the children get excited over Father Christmas as they get a bit older and understand more might make him see how it's just a bit of Christmas magic and a white lie. Or he might never embrace it but he can't really stop the kids from enjoying it if all their classmates/peers do

We don't "do Santa", but my kids still enjoy the magic of Christmas. We talk about st Nicholas and what he did and how that created the story that people tell now. We talk about how we can all be Santa and make Christmas about being kind to the people around us and especially those who may not be as lucky as us - we give gifts to wishing trees and charities, we volunteer, we do random acts of kindness etc. We also go out and see the lights, go to Christmas carols, have Christmas dance parties in the lounge, watch Christmas movies etc.

We make sure the whole month is magical and not just about gifts they might receive and definitely don't lie to them about a jolly man in a red suit.

As an addition, they obviously pick up on a lot of these "traditions" from movies. Our son has started leaving out a cup of tea for mummy Santa on Christmas Eve.

So we didn't go overboard on Santa but my family really did yesterday. They bought the boys big ticket items - my nan, mum and brother. It's ridiculous. We have ride ons (plural), two car garages, duplicates of cars that we already have.

I feel so ungrateful but it's so upsetting. We don't have much cash but the amount spent is crazy. Not to mention the waste of plastic. It's excessive. We're going to charity shop our existing ride on to make room for two more.

DH says it's over the top and this is what's bad about Christmas. He's right.

All my work reassuring him it won't be a big deal has basically been ruined

You are not BU, but neither is your dh.
My youngest just outgrew Santa, and it was a very pleasant experience in our house. We never went overboard with pretending, other than putting the presents under the tree. Never threatened with Santa not coming, or making up stories about Santa. When they would ask, we just said we don’t know the specifics, and went with their version of Santa story.

My youngest ( who is 9) just declared she doesn’t believe in Santa the morning of Christmas Eve, and in the evening she insisted on putting out milk and cookies for him. I had the same experience with my oldest when he stopped believing.