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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH threw tea towel at me

75 replies

Wingingthis · 23/12/2018 18:05

Baby was kicking off in high chair and I DH was trying to wipe her face etc. I said “just get her out” (not in an aggressive way at all) and he threw the tea towel at me a shouted ‘i hate it when you tell me what to do!!!”
I know this obviously didn’t hurt me physically but AIBU that this is still not okay. Am I over reacting

OP posts:
YepImafraidIchangeditagain · 23/12/2018 18:09

Yes

Lovingbenidorm · 23/12/2018 18:10

As long as it wasn’t wrapped round a brick

Original poster
Wingingthis · 23/12/2018 18:11

Really? He threw it at my face

OP posts:
Theunreasonableone · 23/12/2018 18:11

You are

PurpleDaisies · 23/12/2018 18:11

It isn’t ok. Tea towel thrown in fun - fine. Anything thrown in anger - not fine.

AllKinds · 23/12/2018 18:11

If this totally out of character and your DH is normally supportive, patient send caring then consider if you have been telling him what to do a lot recently.

But if he's got form for being aggressive, snappy or has thrown things before, then YANBU and he needs anger issue help ASAP.

Has he apologised? Are you both under quite a bit of stress at the moment?

itsalmostfriday · 23/12/2018 18:12

Yabu
And dramatic
Unless there is more of a back story

AllKinds · 23/12/2018 18:12

*and caring, not 'send'.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 23/12/2018 18:12

Well your husband was dealing with the situation so there was no need for you to say or do anything. Why did you feel the need to tell him what to do?

Ifeelreallylow · 23/12/2018 18:12

I agree, anything thrown in anger is not ok.

Has he got form for being angry and aggressive?

mummmy2017 · 23/12/2018 18:12

Don't pick a fightbover some thing small like this so near to Xmas, nothing good will come from it.

Original poster
Wingingthis · 23/12/2018 18:13

I was also dealing with the situation and was going to clear her up before he said “take this” (the Bib) and “take this” (the tray) both times that I went to reach in for her

OP posts:
Celebelly · 23/12/2018 18:13

Throwing stuff at someone in anger is never okay. Especially in front of a child.

XmasHolly · 23/12/2018 18:13

He wipes your baby's face with a tea towel? That you use to dry up dishes? Hope the tea towel was then going in the wash and not back on the hook to be used again.

You were over reacting about him btw.

YepImafraidIchangeditagain · 23/12/2018 18:13

You said . I said “just get her out” (not in an aggressive way at all)

Any reason you couldn't have asked nicely, done it yourself, or let him parent without instructions?

He threw a tea towel, not a knife, plate or the baby. Tell him you didn't appreciate it, but you won't talk to him like a child again and move on.

Original poster
Wingingthis · 23/12/2018 18:13

And yes he does have a short temper but has never hit me or anything

OP posts:
Starlight456 · 23/12/2018 18:14

Tbh sounds highly stressed baby is screaming , he is trying to clean them and you are demanding he gets her out. I can’t read it said in a nice tone at all.

What are you hoping for a Ltb comment .

ScrumpyBetty · 23/12/2018 18:15

Not okay

sweeneytoddsrazor · 23/12/2018 18:15

Did he just throw it as in angry wanting to hurt you or was it more I am trying to deal with this if I am not doing it to your high standards heres the tea towel do it your bloody self type throw.

AtrociousCircumstance · 23/12/2018 18:15

Throwing in anger is never ok.

XiCi · 23/12/2018 18:15

I don't think it's ever ok to throw something at someone else in anger, it's an aggressive act. You were lucky it was only a tea towel in his hand at the time. He sounds a petulant little twat.

LEMtheoriginal · 23/12/2018 18:16

Just let it go. Unless you want to ruin christmas. You was stressed he was stressed.

Thingsdogetbetter · 23/12/2018 18:17

Bloody hell, throwing anything and shouting at you are not ok. If this is a first you need to sit down calmly and talk. Are you constantly giving him 'helpful' instructions about dc. Does he see this as undermining him? He needs to realise if there is an issue a grown up would discuss it before flipping out. Does he realise how aggressive his actions were? What if he had something else in his hands? Something heavier?

If it's not a first and you want to continue you need to law down the law: anything aggressive again and he's out. And mean it!

lanbro · 23/12/2018 18:18

Well I threw some hairclips towards my dd the other day after she repeatedly said she couldn't find them, frustration, knackeredness and being busy caused me to fling them, I imagine your dh was feeling similar...just forget it

PurpleDaisies · 23/12/2018 18:19

There’s a difference between throwing towards and throwing at.