DH threw tea towel at me

[Wingingthis]

Baby was kicking off in high chair and I DH was trying to wipe her face etc. I said “just get her out” (not in an aggressive way at all) and he threw the tea towel at me a shouted ‘i hate it when you tell me what to do!!!”
I know this obviously didn’t hurt me physically but AIBU that this is still not okay. Am I over reacting

If he was trying to clean your baby up, presumably after eating, then best keep it contained in the highchair.

Wait a while, make some tea and reset. It's probably not worth falling out over.

He sounds a petulant little twat

Jeeze, so many here ready to get the DH bashing stick out.

I don't condone any violent act but daily life isn't always black and white, good guys and bad guys.

But OP you say he has a short temper. How so? Do arguments always get heated? And has he apologised?

What Starlight said

I think this crosses a line and if the unacceptability of it isn't made clear, and acknowledged on his part, then you risk this escalating over time.

I think the only important thing here is that you feel it's unacceptable. It doesn't matter if posters on here are OK with their partners flinging stuff at them or like to stay quiet when being treated badly so they don't 'ruin Christmas'. For you, it was upsetting and obviously gave you a fright and you don't feel like it's something you can just brush under the carpet. And that is a perfectly legitimate way to feel. I would be the same. A partner throwing something at me in anger, I don't care what it is, is not OK with me. Aggressive behaviour is not something I would accept from a partner.

I'd suggest giving you both some time to cool off and then approaching it calmly and explain how it made you feel. And then his reaction to that can guide your next steps.

Jeeze, so many here ready to get the DH bashing stick out Nope. Anyone who lashes a tea towel at someone's face in anger is a petulant twat. Could not give a shiny shit whether it's someone's DH, DD, DM . Who it is is completely irrelevant.

Both of need to take a chill pill.

Both of you I guess are stressed, chill out and be friendly.

Anyone who lashes a tea towel at someone's face in anger is a petulant twat.

Like a PP said, there's a big difference between throwing toward and throwing at.

OP clearly feels the incident was upsetting and has said DH has a short temper so clearly there are issues, you can't label everyone that loses their cool a bit a petulant twat.

Or the world would be full of petulant twats.

Oh, hang on...

Ok, so if he did this to a cashier at the supermarket, would that be acceptable?

If he did this to a nurse telling him to hold his arm still while she took blood, would that be acceptable?

If he did this to a random person in the street, would that be acceptable?

Nope.

I love how its escalated from someone chucking a tea towel at someone to "lashing". Classic MN.

OP didn't say 'lashing it at her face' . She said he threw it at her. She also hasn't clarified if he was throwing it to her so she could wipe the baby which makes sense since OP was interfering and implying she could handle the situation better.

"He never hits me" sets the bar way too low, op.

It's disrespectful and I'd be annoyed but no more than that.

What odd comparisons Anouk
It's more like if the cashier said 'you're holding the plastic bag wrong' implying they'd rather do it so you throw the bag over to them. There's absolutely no comparison with a nurse taking blood or a random person in the street. The tea towel was connected to the action OP was trying to direct and manage.

Anouk- someone possibly nagging him? Acceptable.
He probably chucked it at her so she could wipe the baby down. Sounds like she thought she'd do it better.

But All kinds he didn't throw towards he threw it AT the OPs face. The throwing towards comment was in relation to a pp chucking some hair clips to her dd. Throwing something at someone's face is not `losing your cool a bit' It's strange that anyone would think this was acceptable.

Why you using a tea towel to wash a babies face.(misses point of post)

YANBU your DH was being a dick and having a childish tantrum. We all learn how to deal with people saying things in different tones of voice without having a tantrum if we don't like what we hear, throwing stuff at people you claim to love is tosser behaviour

Sounds like baby was upset and stressing you both out. Two people trying to sort out a situation like that never really works imo. One of you could probably have stepped back and let the other one resolve it rather than taking joint frustration out on each other.

Not really a strong analogy. I probably wouldn’t hump a checkout worker either but...

Sounds like an overreaction from you both but no harm done.

Throwing things and shouting in anger is not ok, especially in front of a baby.

Difficult to tell from this though whether it’s the kind of ‘vicious circle of stupid arguments and frayed tempers’ kind of not-ok, in which it’s possibly fixable, or the ‘him having a tendency to get angry at you specifically’ kind, in which it’s probably not.

He sounds frustrated.
Do you tell him what to do a lot?
Sounds like he was trying to stop the baby from crying and your input wasn’t what he needed at that moment. It is stressful when a kid cry’s.
Just let it go and talk sensibly when you have some peace

Or you could take the stance that he’s a shit and get yourself down the local woman’s refuge to safeguard yourself and your child from his angry mood swings.

Split up, its the only thing you can do when the relationship is at this stage.

that way he doesn't have someone telling him what to do all the time and the OP doesn't have to put up with his temper.

Its a win win solution.

This wouldnt bother me but then half the stuff that happens on here wouldnt. Im sure people will tell you to leave him over it though, not that anyone actually does in real life! its so minor its unreal.