To be annoyed re: sympathy card.

[Cheeeeislifenow]

Very long long story but, I was really really good friends with a woman, ten years plus. I was her bridesmaid. She was a godmother to my child. We lived in each other pockets. Very very close. About three years ago we had a terrible falling out. I won't go into it but I ended the friendship and she made it clear I was not welcome to contact her, she blocked me on everything.
Fast forward to now.
I found out on the grapevine that her mother was terminally ill.
Her mother died yesterday I am very upset she was a great lady and I would not want to wish such an horrific thing on anyone.
I am not going to the funeral as I feel it would only upset my ex friend and I would not be well received.
My husband thinks I should go to pay my respects,I think it is more respectful to keep my distance as funeral's are for the living and not the dead.
He has dropped in a sympathy card signed by me this evening. I am very annoyed. He had no right to.
By the way DH had very little relationship with ex friend..only knew her through me etc.
Aibu to be annoyed with him! Do you think I should go to funeral?

Perhaps you could write to her in a few weeks' time. That might be when she most needs support and kindness, as the momentum of the funeral and administration which can carry people through will have ceased, and the immediate offers of help and support which surround a death will have fallen off.

The thing is ..I really don't want to speak to her..I have no regrets over our friendship ending. She behaved appallingly and I don't want to be friends with someone who thinks bullying is okay v

What is the matter with ppl? Bending over backwards making things worse trying to be kind. Jesus. Op is right, her partner is wrong, what's done is done, leave it there. Sometimes you have to sit with unpleasant feelings. It passes.

daffodil shes not going she sad about the mum but the onylrason people turn up at funerals is to make themselves feel better after a row or some such

like i said at my mums funeral i nearly told someone to fuck off for turning up