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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not tell my OH when dinners ready

80 replies

APositiveMind · 22/12/2018 18:49

And to let it go cold.
I text him to go to the shop and pick up something nice to cook for tea because it's nearly Christmas and were not spending it together.
He came home with two steaks and some potatoes.
I wondered why he didn't buy any veggies.. so asked "Didn't you get any veg?"
So he responded with "no we have frozen veg in the freezer if you want veg go and buy it your fucking self and not be ungrateful"
I wasn't being ungrateful I just wondered..

So now he's been upstairs for hours, had a 2 hour shower, has been satin the bedroom sulking for another hour.

Aibu to cook tea, eat mine and leave his out. If he wants to stay upstairs and sulk like a 5 year old then I know for a fact he'll smell the food and think I'll call him down whwnbits ready. Think again Mr.

OP posts:
GreatDuckCookery6211 · 22/12/2018 18:51

Don't make his. Make your own and watch a good film.
Is he always a twat?

Original poster
APositiveMind · 22/12/2018 18:51

I've been in a really good mood today, albeit stressed. I've done some Christmas shopping and wrapped everything ready.
It was less than 5 second of his coming through the door and easier his voice at me, making me feel ungrateful and shit. And now I'm back to feeling irritated.

OP posts:
SilverLining10 · 22/12/2018 18:52

I wouldn't be with anyone who spoke to me like that. I have way too much self respect to allow myself to be treated that way.

Original poster
APositiveMind · 22/12/2018 18:53

Most if the time no.
But he is SUCH a child.
He is the sulkiest grown man I've ever met in my entire life

OP posts:
BobTheDuvet · 22/12/2018 18:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
APositiveMind · 22/12/2018 18:56

Not really, he's pretty laid back and quite shy.
He's been doing some work on the side today so maybe he's tired. But I refuse to accept that as an excuse for talking down to me like so.

OP posts:
MrsJayy · 22/12/2018 18:56

What a waste of a Saturday night sulking like a kid ! I would make his tea tell him it is ready And eat yours not cooking his is just being petty, what an arsehole though.

Singlenotsingle · 22/12/2018 19:02

Absolutely not U. He's behaving like a child so he can expect to be treated like one.

Original poster
APositiveMind · 22/12/2018 19:04

@bobtheduvet
I'm usually stressed because of work and general life, I have anxiety which eggs me down a lot and this time of year doesn't help. But yes, he doesn't help. He comes home moaning about money when he earns a better diary than me, spend thousands on his car and other things that aren't necessary, then complains he can't afford his turn to do the food shopping.
He gets me absolutely riled sometimes.

OP posts:
UhUhUhDennis · 22/12/2018 19:04

Genuinely LTB. Not joking either.

Santaisonthesherry · 22/12/2018 19:05

Sounds very much like my exh.
Note the ex....

DonnaDarko · 22/12/2018 19:05

If my OH had spoken to me like that I would have told him not to, and to show me some respect. He would have apologised, I would have cooked dinner, we'd get over it.

Why couldn't you just do that instead of being equally childish?

68Anon · 22/12/2018 19:05

Not cooking his dinner will only make you as childish as he is being.
Life is too short for stupid games. Cook him dinner and call him down.
After all, it is the season of good will.

CmdrIvanova · 22/12/2018 19:07

I wonder whether your anxiety symptoms would improve dramatically if you binned off this financially irresponsible sulky brat?

mummmy2017 · 22/12/2018 19:08

Call up, ask is he coming down for food...
If he doesn't answer cook your own.
That way you can hold your head high, and tell him you did ask...

Original poster
APositiveMind · 22/12/2018 19:09

@donnadarko
I kept my cool, I said "I'm not being ungrateful I just saw you had bought those couple of bits and wondered why you didn't get veg, it didn't cross my mind we had any in the freezer"
To which he called me ungrateful again, huffed and puffed and went upstairs.

I used to be terrible for losing my temper but learned it only made things worse, but I can't stand being spoken to like that and then letting him get away with it.

OP posts:
Original poster
APositiveMind · 22/12/2018 19:10

But that being said I do admit that I don't want to cook him dinner just to watch him complain about it after. I know it's petty but he needs a taste of his own medicine once in a while surely?

OP posts:
MrsStrowman · 22/12/2018 19:12

Playing games makes you as immature as him. The things he said were unacceptable and I certainly would not tolerate it, as a PP said I would've did so there and then DH would've apologised and maybe recoding how he felt/why he snapped and we would've gotten over it and had a nice evening. I do wonder if you often criticise him? You asked him to get dinner, he got dinner after working over time, instead of 'ooh lovely a nice steak' he got 'why didn't you buy veg?' (you have some in the freezer so there's no need to ask that) . I wonder how you'd react if you'd been out working extra a couple of days before Christmas, picked up dinner on the way home, only to have your choice questioned? It would make me wonder why I'd bothered

Schmoobarb · 22/12/2018 19:12

I wouldn’t even cook his. Fuck him. I’ve got no time for adults who sulk like petulant brats.

Original poster
APositiveMind · 22/12/2018 19:13

I called up "If you're staying upstairs to sulk you can cook your dinner when your done but mingling to start making mine"

I got "I'm not in just resting -loud huff- goddd"

He plays the 'I'm just lying down/resting/sorting something out' card when he knows he's been shitty and it now embarrassed of his actions. I know him well.

OP posts:
brighteyeowl17 · 22/12/2018 19:14

Not a normal response. He could have been polite. Talk to him about it or throw his dinner at him. I know which I’d choose if someone spoke to me like that ! Wink

PaintingOwls · 22/12/2018 19:15

Agree that your anxiety would improve dramatically without this bellend around. I would go upstairs and look at him. See if he apologizes. If not, I'd make my own dinner. If yes I'd cook for the both of us.

ilovepinkgin33 · 22/12/2018 19:16

He sounds like Kevin the teenager to be honest leave his ingredients on the side for him to cook himself, possibly play "Manchild" on YouTube every time he's in earshot 😁

HolgerLowCarbingLoser · 22/12/2018 19:16

He sounds like a sulky teenager. Really not attractive in a man, is it.

Original poster
APositiveMind · 22/12/2018 19:18

@mrsstrowman
For a start, he hasn't worked overtime, he wasn't meant to work today, he went out to do some jobs on the side, he's a mechanic, he enjoys his job and often like to go out on the weekend to do jobs for people. I didn't question his choice at all, we often pick up dinner when one of us are out and it usually consists of meat, side and veg. So it was unusual he didn't pick any up.
It didn't cross my mind that we already had frozen veg here, it was a spur of the moment thought that I asked. When he corrected me (in a vile way) I accepted we had it, that's fine, we have veg, cool, I just wondered.

OP posts:
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