AIBU not wanting MIL popping in Xmas morning?

[1Mumwhowingsit]

I really don’t want MIL round Xmas morning. She wants to pop in early morning because apparently that suits her.
Reason I don’t want her popping round is she is so judgmental! She always says how messy the house is and if I’m not looking great (I have bad skin) she makes it clear ... last time I opened the door to her, her first comment was ‘JEEZ LOOK AT
YOU’ I just want to enjoy Christmas morning with my little family and not worry about her coming round! DH says I am being overly sensitive etc...and that’s just the way his mum is and she doesn’t mean to be mean blah blah..
MIL lives 2min walk away from our house
Can’t my DH and my son pop to hers!? Really want to put my foot down on this one as it’s my home and i want to feel happy and relaxed on Christmas morning! AIBU?

YANBU. Though it would be kind to see her later on, in the evening perhaps

Our morning is just for our little family. I would invite MIL over later in the day once you’ve had a chance to relax, shower and get dressed.

Why don't you be just as rude back?

tell her youll visit mid morning keep her at bay and off your turf

I suggested popping into hers on our way home later, after lunch at my mums but she told DH she didn’t want anyone round who wasn’t there for Christmas dinner (we didn’t get invited round for dinner) she always tells my DH that we should have a family Christmas just the 4 of us!!

If you don't want her there, then say no. And have a serious conversation with your husband about support and not allowing his mother to be rude to you.
It's lazy and shitty of him to say it is just her way.

You don't have to let her in. Lock the door (if she has a key try to get the locks changed before Christmas if you can) and don't answer the door.

Feel happy and relaxed then - get a couple of glasses of bubbly into yourself early on and pretend she's one of those fuckawful singing fish things. You know, a poor choice of Christmas present from someone that you're going to bin after Boxing day...

Or open the door and greet her with a sympathetic hiss and an "ooh, late night?" Then insist she comes in and sits down in the warm because she shouldn't be on her feet too long at her age

If you are going to your DM's for lunch, and she is hosting Christmas dinner for others later, then, yes, it would seem unreasonable to not let such a local Grandma pop in to see the dc enjoy their excitement on Christmas day morning.

Her rudeness / personal comments I would tackle at the time / would have tackled at the time. You should not be putting up with that.

JEEZ LOOK AT YOU

If she is 2 mins away do you ever use her for child care? Not having a pop at you but it can't be when it suits you only

YABU
She wants to pop round, not move in.
Some people are quite blunt and tactless (me ) So long as she can take it as well as give it, just accept that how she is.

Depends what she means by early morning. You might still be in bed, mightn't you? Followed by a luxurious bath. That's what I do on Christmas morning, and I wouldn't get downstairs a minute before midday. Let dh entertain his dm...

How annoying! I had this last year. PIL coming round for Christmas lunch like they do every year, I just want the morning to slob around in Pjs but no they rock up a good hour before the time I told them.

I fear she’ll just ignore whatever you say and turn up but you should try and give her a later time or send DP and DS round to hers.

We never use her for childcare, she has looked after DC a handful of times and he’s over 5 years old. This is because we have asked but are always flexible as to what time/day. It’s not so we can go out, more wanting to encourage a relationship for our child with his grandma.
She never invites DH/DC to hers and it makes me feel sad tbh.

Just the way she is? Inexcusably rude, he means? Your husband needs to stop making excuses for unreasonable behavior.

I'd be tempted to tell him you can't help it it's just the way you are but you can't stand having people make rude comments to your face on Christmas Day, so you won't be able to have her come by, this time. Such a shame!

Yes maybe I should stop being so sensitive. Maybe I should just chill and be rude if she says anything rude....could be the way forward

Let her see her grandchildren. It's Christmas, ffs.

@Bluelady OP has suggested options. But her MIL only wants to do what suits her, being rude to OP in the process.

Sorry but that's just plain rude and nasty! So what if your skin is bad ... she's got a bad bloody attitude at least you're condition can change - she's clearly a fucking bitch to her soul

Send your DH round to her and get him to speak up and tell her she's offended you too many times and needs to correct her shitty cunty nasty greetings before she's welcome back to your home
Big hugs re the skin - I had horrible skin as a teen and now it's red and crap, albeit not acne or scarring - but It really bothered me even though it wasn't too bad
Btw I don't use the 'c' word in real true life lol 😆

@Limensoda
“Blunt and tactless”
Is just another way of saying I’m rude.
Why does OP have to tolerate someone being rude to her on Christmas morning in her own house.

I think saying no to your kids grandma visiting Christmas morn is a bit much however she does sound horrible. If she starts on you just quickky shush her and say its christmas

Wait, she didn't invite you for Xmas dinner? Was that because she knew you were already going to your parents or for (cue ominous music) some other reason?

If the former, let her drop by and just pull out the old 'Well, that was very rude!" if she criticizes, or be hide in bed when she gets there as you are 'not feeling well'.

If it's the latter, tell her (and DH) to fuck off that it's not convenient.

OP, YANBU, or indeed being sensitive. Your DH needs to start standing up for your when your MIL is being rude. I certainly wouldn't be happy if I was told "that's just the way she is", and expected to suck it up.

The Christmas spirit is alive and well I see.