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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School pick up, child not there!

106 replies

Russell19 · 22/12/2018 16:21

My friends DD (reception aged 5) finishes school at 3.15. My friend finishes work at 3pm and rushes straight to school to pick her child up. She has to park quite far away, as there is no school car park, on a community centre car park that is used by the school and parents.

She normally arrives around 3.30. Yesterday she arrived just after 3.30 and went to the classroom door and her DD was not there, the teacher said she had taken her to the main office. When asked why she said school pick up time was 3.15 and beyond 3.30 all remaining children get taken to the office for supervision and the office ladies call parents to see where they are. (The issue is that the office is a 5 min walk around the other side of the school)

My friend was very annoyed and was rude to the teacher. Who is being unreasonable? The teacher or my friend?

OP posts:
Bouncebacker · 22/12/2018 16:26

Your friend - the timings are unfortunate but she needs to renegotiate her work ours or pay someone to pick up her child. Not schools job to cope with the shortfall if it happens often

TinselAndKnickers · 22/12/2018 16:26

The friend is unreasonable. Yes, it’s annoying but fair enough and a better option than a teacher with work to do standing outside with the child in the cold for god knows how long after 3:30

TeenTimesTwo · 22/12/2018 16:26

What ^^they all said. No brainer.

Thesearmsofmine · 22/12/2018 16:26

Your friend of course. Poor child being left waiting for her mum

insancerre · 22/12/2018 16:27

Child was there
It was the parent who wasn’t there

tillytrotter1 · 22/12/2018 16:29

and was rude to the teacher

This in addition to using the school as a free creche and you have to ask who's unreasonable? It was Friday, it was the last day of a term when hours of extra work would have gone into school plays, parties and general festive fun.
Were I the Head I would inform her formally that if her child is not collected on time in the new year then social services would be involved in her neglect. Her work hours are her problems, not the school's. Unbelievable arrogance!

Zucker · 22/12/2018 16:30

The child was there the parent wasn't! Your friend is completely the one in the wrong here.

OddBoots · 22/12/2018 16:31

Your friend needs to finish work earlier of arrange a childminder or after school care until she can get there.

JacquesHammer · 22/12/2018 16:31

Your friend is being massively unreasonable.

She needs to look into proper after school care. She also owes the teacher a massive apology.

stellavisionandunderstanding · 22/12/2018 16:31

As a primary school teacher, I hope your friend is buying lots of biscuits/wine/came for the poor teachers who are doing your friend's childcare at their expense, for the entire term, that has gone buy. It's so very unfair. And to be rude back to the teacher. Honestly. She needs to go grovelling.

stellavisionandunderstanding · 22/12/2018 16:32

*Cake!

DoneLikeAKipper · 22/12/2018 16:32

According to other threads, the op is apparently a primary school teacher. So I’ll take a guess that this is at least a sort-of reverse?

KatharinaRosalie · 22/12/2018 16:33

This is a reverse and of course the parent is unreasonable turning up 15 min late every day.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 22/12/2018 16:34

This has got to be reverse
(I hate reverses)

PumpkinPie2016 · 22/12/2018 16:36

The friend is being massively unreasonable. She cannot rock up late for pick up every single day!! Totally unfair on the teacher and the child!

She needs to sort out proper after school care.

Aragog · 22/12/2018 16:37

Your friend is in the wrong.

We finish at 3:20.
We expect parents and caters to collect at 3:20.
Children are taken to the office at 3:30, where there is a member of staff in late duty.
If a parent is persistently late collecting we will, after a warning, be placed in after school care and charged the full rate for attending. Every time.

Your friend needs to make better arrangements. She knows when school finishes. It isn't the teachers job to look after her child longer than that, the teacher will have several jobs to be getting on with, or need to leave herself/himself.

DobbinsVeil · 22/12/2018 16:38

elbanosaernu yrev si dneirf rouy

Dimsumlosesum · 22/12/2018 16:39

Poor teachers, having to face rude, horrible parents like that.

Original poster
Russell19 · 22/12/2018 16:39

Well done pp I am the teacher! My faith in parents is restored and the responses have gone some way to make me feel better. After being shouted at and told I was unfair and lazy it really got to me and wondered if I was wrong. She also said it was my job to wait for her! (All in front of the child)

And no, no present (I don't expect presents) or even a thanks for 15 mins extra each day. I've been sucking it up for a whole term, maybe let her get away with it too much, but got tired on the last day of term. I think based on all of your replies I will take this up with the head teacher and get some advice!

Thanks lovely ladies x

OP posts:
brizzledrizzle · 22/12/2018 16:42

The teacher is very unreasonable. Of course she should provide free child care for parents who are doing such important jobs that they can't be expected to organised child care for when they arrive late. Teachers should know that it is part of their job to personally supervise all children when their parents are out Christmas shopping late leaving work.

School pick up, child not there!
Dollymixture22 · 22/12/2018 16:43

This is brilliant! Of course your friend is unreasonable. And to be ride to the teacher in these circumstances demonstrates Very poor manners. Poor teacher having to deal with her.

MorningCuppa · 22/12/2018 16:43

If this happened at my dc school the child would be taken to after school club and the parent would be charged.

UpsideDownAndRoundTheBend · 22/12/2018 16:43

Russel19! She's definitely in the wrong! I've been late once or twice (literally), always profusely apologetic and happy teachers took DC to after school club and happy to pay the full price for that as my own fault I was 10 mins late, not the schools! I can't believe a parent would be angry with you for being late! Bonkers! She should be apologising!

LittleLlamaontheduskyroad · 22/12/2018 16:44

Urm sorry what? This lady is CF in the extreme! She needs to pay for after school club.

I feel sorry for the poor child, imagine how it feels when all your little friends have gone home and there's no-one there for you? Every single day. Abandoned, I imagine.

Oddsocksandmeatballs · 22/12/2018 16:45

I cannot believe the question needs to be asked. School finishes at 3.15, there was no-one there to collect the child she'd kick off soon enough if her daughter had been sent into the playground to wait.