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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to say no to family staying

58 replies

Needtostartsayingno123 · 22/12/2018 14:32

I work part time, have 2 DC and my partner works away one month at a time.

My partner has relatives who stay 3-4 hours away and maybe 4-5 times a year they will come and stay. They always leave an absolute mess when they come, expect to have their favourite food in the fridge waiting for them and just cause chaos pretty much.

Last night I got a message telling me they were going to come up tonight and stay for 1 night. They weren’t asking me to stay at my house, they were telling me. I have flat out refused as my partner is away, I’ve been working this week, it’s 3 days till Christmas, I have 2 DC (1 x still not walking and a massive handful) and I have guests round for Christmas Day. I also told them that the spare room isn’t ready as I have Christmas presents everywhere and I am currently trying to build one of my DC main present. She replied “we only need a bed”.

I just know that I will be getting slagged off left, right and centre and the rest of the family will know by now. WIBU to say no?

P.s - they already came up a few weeks ago (stayed at my house then) to deliver Christmas presents so it’s not to take up any presents, they never even said why they were coming up.

OP posts:
Santaisonthesherry · 22/12/2018 14:33

Send them a link to local travel lodge or similar. Cf of the week!!

SnuggyBuggy · 22/12/2018 14:33

YANBU. I wouldn't answer the door when they turn up.

Confusedbeetle · 22/12/2018 14:33

You dont need to make any excuses. Just say I am sorry it is not convenient this time

juneau · 22/12/2018 14:34

Nah - tell 'em to piss off. You're not a bloody hotel. If all they want is a bed then they can go to the Premier Inn.

WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo · 22/12/2018 14:36

YANBU. But just keep saying no. Don't give excuses as they'll find ways around them. They are very rude to invite themselves, especially at this time of you. Hopefully the rest of the family know what they're like...

Holidayshopping · 22/12/2018 14:36

*My partner has relatives who stay 3-4 hours away and maybe 4-5 times a year they will come and stay.

They stay 3 hours away or love 3 hours away?

Who are they to you? I’d say no as well-that’s rude.

Are they not coming now?

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 22/12/2018 14:37

YANBU - just say it's not convenient for you on this occasion also say there is no point them coming if your partner isn't there. Where is he by the way? on the Saturday night before Christmas?

MissCalamity · 22/12/2018 14:38

Move your car round the corner & switch all the lights off when they are due to arrive. Cheeky fu**ers, I certainly wouldn't be entertaining the thought!

ChipsAreLife · 22/12/2018 14:38

Tell them youve got plans and you need more notice in future. They sound dreadful

savagebaggagemaster · 22/12/2018 14:39

If they ask again do not say sorry and just say it's not possible. YWNBU!!

trojanpony · 22/12/2018 14:39

Yanbu

When they next come do not buy in their favourites either. Xmas Envy

Auntiepatricia · 22/12/2018 14:41

I’d just say you’ve a vomiting big and can’t this time. I’m not too chicken to tell them no but sometimes the fall out isn’t worth it.

Sexnotgender · 22/12/2018 14:43

That’s not convenient... x 100

No apologies not reasons just no.

Original poster
Needtostartsayingno123 · 22/12/2018 14:43

Holidayshopping - they live 3-4 hours away, sorry

Notsuchasmugworriednow1 - he works on the oil rigs. Left last week and won’t be home until the middle of January Sad my DD is very sad

OP posts:
Crimbobimbo · 22/12/2018 14:44

They've asked, you said no. End of.

Tobebythesea · 22/12/2018 14:46

No, no, no!

sevensatsumas · 22/12/2018 14:46

How rude of them to 'tell' you that they were staying! Are they dh's parents?

bastardkitty · 22/12/2018 14:48

'It's not possible. Try the Ibis/premier inn/some other sucker you CF '

Original poster
Needtostartsayingno123 · 22/12/2018 14:49

No, partners aunt and uncle!

OP posts:
YoThePussy · 22/12/2018 14:52

If they turn up lie on the floor until they have gone. Always liked this idea since reading ‘The Pursuit Of Love’ by Nancy Mitford. Would do myself but might never get up off the floor again, crap knees sadly.

rabbitfoodadvocate · 22/12/2018 14:54

Absolute arsehats! Say a big NO!

CantSleepClownsWillEatMe · 22/12/2018 14:56

Just reply saying 'no it's just not convenient this time' and stick to that. They might well be bitching about you to all and sundry but I suspect most of their audience will be thinking that actually they've a bit of a cheek.

In the future I suggest you turn them down a bit more often and when you do have them to stay open your mouth and ask them to eg not eat in bedroom/put used towels in the laundry or whatever it is they're doing to leave th3 place in a mess. They're treating your home as though it's theirs and have become very presumptuous! I mean who the fuck just informs someone that they are staying in that persons home Confused?

RangeRider · 22/12/2018 14:57

'Sorry it's not convenient'. Repeat. Lock doors & draw curtains. Refuse to answer door if doorbell goes.

whiteworld · 22/12/2018 14:57

Are you Aberdonian, op? I say ‘stay’ to mean ‘live’ too.

And just say it’s not convenient for you! They are CFs.

blueskiesandforests · 22/12/2018 14:58

YANBU