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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think a train is not a playground

150 replies

lastqueenofscotland · 22/12/2018 14:16

Travelling home for Christmas woes!
Booked a train well in advance, two women with 6 children between them get on. Firstly they haven’t reserved seats (long haul train) and are quite shitty when people aren’t willing to give up their seats for them.

Then th kids spend most of the journey running riot with the mums just chatting to each other the whole time.
This is literally running up and down the carriage the whole time, including when the refreshment cart was coming down. Playing a game which involved seeing which one could scream the loudest.
Eventually one of them ran into a man and fell over, cue crying, cue mum having a go at him telling him to look where he was going. Man snapped and said maybe if they had bothered to parent their children it wouldn’t have happened.
Mum stops kids running riot but gives man daggers for the rest of the journey.

Why are people this bloody selfish?!

OP posts:

LoreleiPorelei · 24/12/2018 04:43

Mumsnet: "Why does the UK have a reputation for being an anti-child/child hating place? I don't think it is!"

Also Mumsnet: "Children having fun in public! Unacceptable!"

I have travelled far and wide and the British are the only nation I've ever met who consider the very sight and sound of children to be a public nuisance 😂😂😂

Runs away from thread before I get flamed

LoreleiPorelei · 24/12/2018 04:50

Mumsnet: "Why does the UK have a reputation for being an anti-child/child hating place? I don't think it is!"

Also Mumsnet: "Children having fun in public! Unacceptable!"

I have travelled far and wide and the British are the only nation I've ever met who consider the very sight and sound of children to be a public nuisance 😂😂😂

Runs away from thread before I get flamed

Hohomerrykittymania · 24/12/2018 05:00

Parrot, those trains and always sound fantastic! I actually think that's a very good idea.

I have traveled on very long distance trains, I'm talking about one's in Vietnam from Ho Chi Minh City to Hanoi that can be up to 40 hours sometimes. Children do sometimes gets a bit antsy and starts running up and down. I remember on one occasion, the five-year-old I was sharing a cabin with got sick from all of the running around and soft drinks he was taking in.

aconcertpianist · 24/12/2018 05:13

If a child suffers with PDA, it can be very, very difficult to persuade them to sit quietly.
It is horrible for the child, horrible for the onlookers and pretty damn horrible for the parent.

Please do bear in mind that special behavioural needs can make a negative impact on daily life and that 'feral little turd'-a charming phrase used upthread-can sometimes be a frightened child.

That phrase is very insulting. Children-all children-need understanding and respect, whatever their behaviour. They're children after all.

OliviaStabler · 24/12/2018 07:10

I have travelled far and wide and the British are the only nation I've ever met who consider the very sight and sound of children to be a public nuisance

Most people like children, what they don't like are badly behaved children.

Sockwomble · 24/12/2018 07:39

"If a child suffers with PDA, it can be very, very difficult to persuade them to sit quietly."

If the parents are actively parenting which of course will take different forms for different children then anyone judging the parents is being unreasonable.
My own child has severe disabilities and is never going to behave well enough for some people. I am always very aware of his behaviour and trying to occupy or distract him to minimise annoyance to others and that should be good enough.

Teateaandmoretea · 24/12/2018 08:16

I agree Lorelei. I got a train yesterday which had loads of DC on it, all behaving fine. It would have been a nice relaxing journey had it not been for the annoying adult who seemed to think it was reasonable to talk so loudly the whole coach could hear every word she said and who did not draw breath for the full hour and a half. Lots and lots of eye rolling throughout the carriage. Not a kid on a scooter in sight.

I quite simply do not believe the OP. I travel on trains all the time and have never ever seen anyone let their kids just run up and down.

Nanny0gg · 24/12/2018 08:24

NannyOg - child friendly screenings where kids are encouraged to run around and make noise. Our local Odeon does it. It's called 'KidsScreen

What's the point? I understand them not having to be quiet, but 'encoursged' to run around??

Take them to soft play!!

Nanny0gg · 24/12/2018 08:26

I quite simply do not believe the OP. I travel on trains all the time and have never ever seen anyone let their kids just run up and down.

You haven't see it, therefore it can't have happened?

Okay.

Sarcelle · 24/12/2018 08:32

Because you haven't seen any kids running amok, the OP must be lying? Arrogant, much?

I have seen a child run up and down the carriage annoying people, with an indulgent older woman (assume grandmother) failing to check him. My very easy going DH eventually told him to sit down because the child kept trying to lift the armrest of the chair that my DH was sitting in. Grandma was not pleased but the boy did sit down.

I have no problem with badly behaved children. It's their ineffectual parents and guardians that get my goat.

Teateaandmoretea · 24/12/2018 08:36

Yeah because everything on mumsnet is true

Sarcelle · 24/12/2018 08:40

Including your little story about the loud woman, tea?

Teateaandmoretea · 24/12/2018 08:41

Well quite. No one knows what is made up and what isn't. Unfortunately she was real bit you have no way of knowing that......

luckiestgirl · 24/12/2018 08:49

My children are autistic. My youngest is three. We get the train to London every Friday. He will not sit still on a chair and likes to run up and down the aisle. If I enforce him sitting still he will scream and scream, so I let him run. I figure people would rather have an hour on a train with a smiley toddler running past them every few minutes than an hour of screaming.

I’m sure I look like an awful parent, but I just have to console myself with the knowledge that I know I’m not, I’m just doing what I can.

Raglansleeve · 24/12/2018 08:51

Masterandmargarita, there was a thread on Mumsnet many years ago. It was started by a woman who's elderly mother had been knocked over by a child on a scooter. The mother broke her hip and died in hospital a few weeks later. The woman who started the thread was distraught - her anger and grief were palpable. She begged parents to not allow their children to use scooters in inappropriate places. Like supermarkets.

DH and I were out for our work Christmas party last week (I'm self employed and insist on a work Christmas party.......) We went to a local pub, not quite gastro, but lovely food, and not really a family pub - no children's menu etc. There was a family sitting behind us celebrating a birthday, grandparents, parents and a little girl of about 3. The child spent 20 minutes shouting - not crying or upset in any way, just making a lot of loud noise. While the adults in the party looked indulgently on. Then the child spent half an hour wandering round the dining room waving a balloon about, next to tables with lit candles, an open fire, under the feet of busy waiting staff and people coming back from the bar with full pints. While the adults in the party looked indulgently on.

CaptainsYuleLog · 29/12/2018 07:59

I figure people would rather have an hour on a train with a smiley toddler running past them every few minutes than an hour of screaming.

But what if a disabled person needs to pass to go to the loo or the buffet? Do you watch your DC to make sure people are able to move around?

Crimson72 · 29/12/2018 08:16

There was a thread on Mumsnet many years ago. It was started by a woman who's elderly mother had been knocked over by a child on a scooter. The mother broke her hip and died in hospital a few weeks later. The woman who started the thread was distraught - her anger and grief were palpable.

God that’s terrible

SnuggyBuggy · 29/12/2018 09:22

Did the kids parents realize what had happened?

drspouse · 29/12/2018 09:31

My kids still colour in on the train or in restaurants.
One of mine would for a short journey.
One is in the "not very well behaved even on school trips" category. He does OK with a screen but gets sick too so sometimes e.g. on planes we struggle.

drspouse · 29/12/2018 09:32

But what if a disabled person needs to pass to go to the loo or the buffet? Do you watch your DC to make sure people are able to move around?
Yes I do. If mine need to run around they are closely supervised and we get out of people's way.

Aaaahfuck · 29/12/2018 09:38

I think you cam tell the difference between children with additional needs or even parents who are trying but not being successful and this type of thing. The parents who are trying are interacting with their children and not just ignoring them. That makes a huge difference to how annoyed I'd feel. I do also think if you pay attention for a little while you can often tell by the child's behaviour and the way the parents are with them if they have additional needs. So would hopefully be sympathetic in yjose circumstances.

PixieCutRegret · 29/12/2018 10:11

*Mumsnet: "Why does the UK have a reputation for being an anti-child/child hating place? I don't think it is!"

Also Mumsnet: "Children having fun in public! Unacceptable!"

I have travelled far and wide and the British are the only nation I've ever met who consider the very sight and sound of children to be a public nuisance 😂😂😂*

This!

My DSs are impeccably well behaved on public transport, it's probably down to luck more than anything else and because we are regular users of public transport they don't get over exited over a new experience.

The amount of adults who start tutting or actually get up and move further away before they have even made a sound is so depressing, some British people are that intolerant to children that they can't even be in close proximity to them. I can really see why some people develop a real 'fuck it' attitude when their kids do start playing up.

The trains in Switzerland sound amazing, a man on the train was telling me how much easier his ex-pat daughter has it over there as people are so much more tolerant to young human beings.

m0therofdragons · 29/12/2018 10:38

We travelled to London in the train with our 3 dc. Dd2's highlight of the trip was chatting with the very drunk man on the train (she didn't know he was drunk!). Public transport takes all sorts. I've seen worse than dc running about but I wouldn't think that acceptable behaviour for my dc.

Rememory · 29/12/2018 12:51

I went to the cinema recently with my eldest and there were two kids around five running around bored whilst they're parents watched the movie. It's so distracting when you're focusing on the screen and there's someone running around and you can see them out on the corner of your eye. I don't blame them though they were too young to be in the movie. So annoying. I can hand on heart say my kids would not have been allowed to do that.

Rememory · 29/12/2018 12:52

And I don't judge parents trying to parent their kids. I judge twats who let their kids get away with murder and do nothing.

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