To think a train is not a playground

[lastqueenofscotland]

Travelling home for Christmas woes!
Booked a train well in advance, two women with 6 children between them get on. Firstly they haven’t reserved seats (long haul train) and are quite shitty when people aren’t willing to give up their seats for them.

Then th kids spend most of the journey running riot with the mums just chatting to each other the whole time.
This is literally running up and down the carriage the whole time, including when the refreshment cart was coming down. Playing a game which involved seeing which one could scream the loudest.
Eventually one of them ran into a man and fell over, cue crying, cue mum having a go at him telling him to look where he was going. Man snapped and said maybe if they had bothered to parent their children it wouldn’t have happened.
Mum stops kids running riot but gives man daggers for the rest of the journey.

Why are people this bloody selfish?!

The places themselves need to stop the activity if the parents are not going too. Security guards, train guards, shop staff, waiters etc. A representative of the business should ask parents to control their kids. I am not sure why scooters are allowed in supermarkets. Supermarkets could just stop people from bringing them in.

There is a clear distinction between parents trying to control their kids (most people are sympathetic) to those who do nothing or even encourage them to misbehave.

A busy restaurant is not the best place for kids sleeping either

my sleeping child is not having any effect whatsoever on your lunch masterandmargarita

unlike the feral brats

We went to Norway this summer. The trains we travelled on had family carriages WITH built in playgrounds
They have these in Switzerland, too.

I see the usual whining 'mean spirited' accusation has been made.

No it is not mean spirited to object to kids scooting in unsuitable places where they could cause serious injury to elderly people in particular. But there is something seriously annoying about parents who whinge that anyone who objects to anti social or irritating behaviour from their children is 'just being mean'.

Im sure ebeneezer would have agreed with you

So now anyone who objects to children being allowed scoot in supermarkets and other places where they put other people's safety at risk, and could cause an elderly person to end up in hospital with broken bones is a scrooge.

I sometimes wonder about the mindset of the type of parent who puts their Childs wants before the needs of others. I've just had an insight.

Oh yes the 'mean spirited' whinge.

I can always kind of picture the parents who come out with that one.

This is why I now travel first class when I can afford it (book in advance). Sick of parents not controlling their children's behaviour in public.

OliviaStableR

I do the same, unfortunately, booking first class doesn’t always mean you will be sat amongst parents who know how to parent.

I've lost count of the number of parents (usually men) who don't look after their children in car parks. They just let them amble along without holding their hand, presumably hoping that every driver has supersonic senses and can miraculously stop in time if heir child runs out in front of them.

First class doesn't avoid this sort of thing. Last time I was in First, the kids at the back of my coach started singing loudly. There was a sudden flurry of movement as everyone put on headphones. The parents didn't even try to shush her a little, and this was an older child, not a toddler.

I haven't come across kids using scooters in supermarkets in NI but can't believe anyone would find that ok! I have seen plenty of kids using those heelies, the shoes with wheels and that's bad enough, most of them don't care who or what they knock into and parents seem to care even less. I used to work in New Look and on evening and weekend shifts it felt like we spent a good chunk of every shift trying to control children running riot, pulling clothes off hangers, climbing through clothes rails and throwing sweets around, parents never seemed to give a shit. That's where I soon learnt to speak up to both kids and parents.

On the other hand I will always make sure to thank a child in a shop etc if they do something nice. One little boy recently who must have been about 6/7 was steering his mum's trolley with her beside him, they were at the end of an aisle and when I came to need past he moved it straight away without a word from his mum so I thanked him and told him what a great job he was doing. Another time in the same shop a boy of about 10/11 was shopping with his mum and their lovely service dog, it seemed like the dog was his. I was coming down the aisle and his mum was stopped looking at something, the dog was lying down, he apologised and got the dog to move (wasn't even really in the way) but again I made sure to thank him and told him what a lovely dog he had, I'm not sure why he had the dog but that interaction could've been a very big deal for him.

I don't think any of us has time for parents who clearly don't give a shit, we only have a short time of inconvenience because of their sprogs, they'll have to deal with that all the time and slap it up them.

I really sympathise with parents of kids who are on the spectrum who get lumped in the same category. I usually find there's little signs to show the difference, especially in the way the parents respond to their kids, some are clearly using taught tactics etc. The way other shoppers react could make or break their day and maybe a positive response from a fellow shopper when the kid is being good or helpful could make a real difference.

Mushroomsarehorrible

I'm lucky that so far only twice have I had young children in the carriage with me and both were quite well behaved.

I think that one of the problems these days is that parents don't take children to places where they can run/skip/dance/climb off some energy or not enough anyway. My DC weren't allowed to do any of those things on trains or in shops or cafes but they knew that they would be able to when we went to the park/woods/beach. I made sure that we went somewhere like this every day as part of our routine, usually the park.

I hate parents like those. If they have no thought or consideration for others, there is little chance their children will either. Well done to the man for saying something.
I had daggers given to me in debenhams a few moths ago by one mum. We were in the restaurant and a child was screaming. Not because they were upset, but because they thought it funny. The child was about 3 and the more they were told no, the more they did it. It was a feeble attempt at saying no though, with no consequence.

There were three adults and an older child. This must have been going on for about 10 minutes as she was doing it while we were waiting to order and after they had brought over some of the food.
A number of people looked, but no one said anything. We sat as far away as possible but it got so my daughter winced when she screamed. (she is not overly sensitive to noise either).

In the end I went over and explained that whilst I know children will make some noise, every time she screamed my child winced. They said they had tried to stop her but couldn't. My response to that was that if my child had been told to stop and hadn't I would have taken her out.

Other people nearby looked relieved someone had said something. It was lovely when they left.

With all the toys children will get for Christmas, it us not hard to take something to keep a child occupied of you know they are going to be on a journey. It makes the journey easier and less stressful for the parent too.

How is not wanting people to treat the supermarket like a playground grinchy and mean spirited? Come on! I had an energetic one and the supermarket trips were a hassle but you have to suck it up and try your best you can't just screw everyone else and let the kids scoot around into people. Do those people let them ride their bikes around tesco? Or have a nerf gun war too? Are we mean spirited if we object to a water fight in Sainsburys?

I told a young boy off in my shop (pulling chairs over, pouring salt and sugar on the tables, even grabbed another customers handbag causing a tug of war) as his mother was so ineffectual at disciplining him...she stormed out slamming the door so I presume she thought I was in the wrong! My coffee shop is very family friendly but it is not a playground and anyone acting like it is will be told, I'm afraid

It's not just elderly people either. I went to my local shopping centre when recovering from a spinal op, surgeon said loads of walking on a flat surface so I spent ages walking around town!
Went when it was quiet and was technically recovered but any bump to my hip etc meant a shit load of pain
Kid cannoned into me on a scooter from behind because they weren't looking where they were going. So so painful

I told a mother off because her young child was scooting on a Tube platform near the tail wall (where the train comes into the station so it’s going pretty fast)...she wasn’t very impressed. I may have reacted to her ‘none of your business’ by asking if she’d ever seen what forty tons of Underground train can do to a person if they fall in front of it. She called the child over to her after that.

I have two DC with special needs. Eldest is a little easier since she became a tween but the DC7 will pirouette, leap about, and that sort of thing when we are out.

I try my best to stop her and I know people notice my efforts, I'm used to the looks of pity and understanding.

My kids follow what other kids do and it's hard for me explaining they can't take you buggies and scooters shopping with us. But my DC7 can be very naughty and violent with or without objects such as these, there's no way I'm sending her out with something inappropriate for a shop environment.

I'm disabled and find kids on scooters and Heelys to be an absolute nightmare. I've had kids ram into me or my kids. It leaves me flinching round people. Can't help it.

My strategies for dealing with my DCs who are both being assessed for ADHD and ASD among other things, is a) avoid shopping when they're with me and b) if it can't be avoided, I bung the Dc7 in a big trolley in the main compartment sat down and pretend she has to hold the more special items. It's a pain specially when the trolley gets fuller, but it's a strategy.

NannyOg - child friendly screenings where kids are encouraged to run around and make noise. Our local
Odeon does it. It's called 'KidsScreen'

OMG the winds that sometimes blow through the tube are enough to knock a kid on a scooter off balance. WTF was that mum thinking.
Unfortunately I have a SIL and inlaws who activity encourage my nephew to be annoying.

He runs around in pubs and restaurants etc and they do nothing, not only that they think it’s great to hand him a little notebook and pen so he can go round asking people at other tables what they want and pretending to be a waiter. He will stay at a table for ages and bug people and my inlaws think it is sweet.

Me and DH walked into a cafe once to meet them and nephew was asking a lady in a very loud voice how the milk comes out of her boobs (she was breastfeeding) and does it hurt her nipples!!!!
At this point DH grabbed nephew, apologised to the lady and made nephew sit down. SIL told DH to mind his own business and nephew was only talking to people!!! We left and have not been in an eating place with them since.
Oh an apparently they let nephew wander round with his notebook on trains and planes as well.

Kids were crawling around the tables on their hands and knees at a packed spoons the other day. Parent your fucking children!!

@MrsTerryPratchet thanks for that, it made me giggle-I’m a tartar! Although if we are going to be quite frank tartar women tend to be fairly obedient, Muslim men having the right to punish their wives with beating a and all but hey ho.

Well done to the man on the train. Nothing worse than parents who don’t teach their children situation appropriate behaviour. It makes me worry for children and how they will turn out.