To think charity is starting to steal Christmas!!

[KnightlyMyMan]

So to clarify - we are charitable- we donate generously via monthly direct debit to several good causes and in person (before anyone jumps on the scrouge bandwagon).

However, I’ve just (for the zillionth time) been faced with another ‘don’t buy gifts/ Christmas cards - just donate money in the persons name’ appeals.

This year seems to be really really pushy about this 😡 more so than ever before and it seems aimed to make people feel shitty/ selfish!

• I’ve noticed a trend in not sending cards - with several friends putting blanket messages on social media saying they won’t be sending any but donating instead so obviously it’s working!

Awesome- I’ll hang your Facebook message on my card tree shall I? 😒
Am I the only person who likes receiving cards (already in aid of good charities?), who actually enjoys opening them and displaying them? I recycle them all post Christmas and buy recycled cards each year so really don’t see the harm - it feels like a lazy cop out to say ‘I’ll just donate instead’ and not very festive or personal!

And no, I don’t really want you to donate in my name and present this to me as a gift. Charity is a personal thing and shouldn’t be inflicted on anyone! I have struggling family members who actually rather rely on Christmas gifts for rare luxury items but have too much pride to say anything if suddenly we started ‘donating in their name’!

Also- One ‘stuggling’ familiy member mentioned yesterday their anxiety over donating cash becoming the ‘social norm’ as they currently make very low cost gifts and wouldn’t be able to give cash. They felt that this becoming ‘the done thing’ It would highlight who can/can’t afford to write cheques! Like being the poor kid at non uniform day- adult edition.

Next it’ll be ‘don’t do a big fancy Christmas dinner or crackers- just donate the cost and have a burger instead!’

I get that it’s a good cause but can they just stop trying to steal Christmas out from under people who enjoy it ?!?!?

ignore the snotty comments above

If that was directed at me, I wasn't making a snotty comment. I was saying that you can't take the moral high ground on anything really as every single thing you do has an impact somewhere. Everything needs to be manufactured and not everything can be recycled.

Vegans wear plastic shoes.

I don't think charity is stealing Christmas, as per your dramatic title. Rather, I think commercialism has stolen Christmas from charity for far to long. I think giving cash to a charity is more in the spirit than buying a box of supermarket cards for the office, for example.

And if people are using charity as an excuse to tone down Christmas, I won't blame them either. Too many people run themselves ragged trying to do everything and keep everyone happy. We can all do with a little more breathing room from things we only do from obligation, and focus on what really matters to us. And if a charity benefits, then it's win-win.

Exactly what AuntieStella said, four posts in.

I love getting a Christmas card. Not everyone's on social media. Plus I never update my status on there. I think it's nice having a card and thinking they've thought about me

@WaxOnFeckOff

The whole point of what I was saying is that I am using my fabric STASH. As in fabric I have bought over the years and not used as expected. So I am not adding anything to production pollution apart from a few watts of electricity to run my machine. I also do not buy presents for anybody that doesn't live within a 3 mile radius to me, if it isn't my kids then we see each other on boxing day and swap gifts face to face. I am sure it will be a terrible trauma to either ask that they use the fabric to re wrap their gifts or to pass it back to me there and then.

And moral high ground? I really do not think so :grin: The whole point of my post was to show that not everybody loves cards and most of the 900 million cards can't be recycled as these days they are covered in glitter and glue. Worse, some have foil stickers and electric components that not only cause harm but take forever to decompose.

I simply said I was making wraps instead of paper to try and offset some of the xmas pollution. I have also planted a nordman fir in my front garden and two holly bushes in the back but i'm hardly asking for a festive award .... Just trying to do my bit to help the planet, reduce waste and get away from the shitty commercialism of xmas.

I don't think people bother with cards so much these days, I'm not sure exactly why.

I like to get them too, but this year got hardly any!

Hells i'm not slagging you off. I don't think there is anything wrong with what you are doing, but it really isn't any more environmentally friendly. You might have a stash of material but it was still manufactured in the first place, has been lying unused and is equally as unlikely to be re-used. It's good that you are using up stuff you already have and I'm sure it will look equally as lovely. The point I was making is that just about every single thing we do has an impact so unless we are talking about the higher end of waste and rampant consumerism, most of us are making choices that might not necessarily be better than the choices others are making when you break it down. It's about having a balance between doing nice things for people (mental health)/enjoying your life and not making poor choices that ruin the planet. people would be perfectly happy with normal cards (glitter does my head in!) if that was what was available, same for paper. It's the manufacturers that are half the problem here. Creating demand for things that just aren't required.

We've massively cut back on Christmas cards. I'm no fan of the 'I've donated to charity instead', for me it's about the sheer waste and the price of stamps! Also, I find getting them a complete faff. The fewer we send, the fewer we get, which works well for me!

I don't send cards and I don't give to charity instead - I give to charity, but don't go around saying it's instead of cards. I love hearing from people & their news, so always pleased with that but it doesn't need to be in a Christmas card these days. They were for a time before the internet, when people sent each other letters!

There is only one purpose for Xmas cards. Exchanging them with your neighbours so you actually find out what their names are.

I can’t be doing with Xmas cards, expensive, time consuming and wasteful.

I don't send Christmas cards. I will openly admit that I am a lazy mare and would rather no one send me cards either.

Would it really be a bad thing is charity took over Christmas? Less shite going to landfill less folk moaning about how busy town centres are less moaning all round!

the people who post on Facebook to explain why they aren’t sending cards are ridiculously arrogant.

Like as if their pals are standing waiting at the letterbox for their card to drop through.

I don’t send cards. I just don’t. No one has ever queried it.

I am not fussed either way. I typically dont send cards except for 'special" birthdays. they are mostly not really that cheap, ( i can think of better more important things to spend £1each + on, then times that by the amount of family members etc- one year i went all out and did cards for family and close friends £35 and that was from the reduced section) and the cheap ones look shit and tacky. I hate the clutter/falling over when you walk past and they end up in the bin/recycling after a couple of days. I give to charity where i can but charity cards are mostly from big corporations ( yes some local charites do them but not always easy to find etc )-most of whom pocket a massive % and the charity /people who should benifit get 10p. It is nice to get a card from a distant relative/old acquaintance but i personally dont see the point for people you see most days and can pass your wishes over in person

this thread is kind of hilarious

how very dare charity steal xmas from commerce!

I only send cards to people I rarely see, about 10 cards in total this year. I don’t send them to anyone else but don’t donate to charity in place of cards, I donate all year round

Wax I think that you are missing the point. We can't have a world in which nothing is made as people need clothes, shoes, furniture etc - even in the stone age they killed animals for meat and fur etc. However, we can do what Hells has suggested and look for ways to cut down the amount that we manufacture - if that means taking an item of surplus consumption and using it in a creative way that means it can be reused many many times over and prevent a lot of non-recyclable paper being consumed instead that is a good thing. You might not have meant it but your post did read as quite condescending - I'm sure Hells knows about how fabric is made - surely it would have been far better to have encouraged others to take similar steps to reduce wrapping paper consumption.

Realised I hadn't answered your Aibu. The original statement I think is totally U! Christmas is about giving & that means also to those less fortunate not just our friends and families, I don't know about you but I've been doing quite a bit for certain charities in the run up and a lot of my friends do things for the homeless and lonely at this time of the year - giving time / organising Christmas lunches that sort of thing, not just donating money or things.

I guess I (we?) should or could do more all year, but it's still a kindness to do it now when a lot of us are going to be having big family celebrations - must be an especially awful time for those who have nothing / are struggling / are lonely. There but for the grace of God and all that.

Not sending cards - not u at all! Not making a public statement saying the reason you haven't sent cards is because you are donating the money to charity, also not U! Sending cards - sure if it floats your boat, but I'm increasingly worried and guilty about over consumption of resources and waste as I said on another thread.. so I'm not going to start now!

I have no issue with donating to charity. The problem is people who use it as an excuse for their lazy behaviour and/or to virtue signal. I bet few actually donate anyway.

Charity is something that should be the business of the giver. No need to whinge if you don’t like it.

I don’t write cards, not for any altruistic reason but because I don’t like spending hours writing cards. They’re not important to me, so I don’t bother (with the exception of my parents).

Awesome- I’ll hang your Facebook message on my card tree shall I?

You're not entitled to receive things from other people to decorate your house with. If you want to send cards, send them and do so unselfishly, but you cannot expect other people to also engage in the custom just because you like it.

Rather than deny friends/family the pleasure of a Christmas greeting, people who want to give to charity instead of indulge could cut their own expensive treats- food, booze, cost of presents, size of tree, new decorations etc) and then they'd have a much bigger sum to give.

This argument always gets trotted out, and the card senders lap it up for obvious reasons. But it's fundamentally flawed, because it assumes that the people who would otherwise have been sent cards would all actually want and like them. Which is pretty unlikely.

In reality, some people love getting Christmas cards and are sad not to receive them, others have an issue with the waste or would like to not feel obliged, still others are in the middle. So if you don't send cards, unless you have a pretty unrepresentative circle, you'll be denying some people a pleasure and making others happy because they think it's pointless crap. The idea that sending cards out results in a net gain in happiness to the people receiving them needs to be interrogated a bit more critically.

I’ve never understood it, cards cost me 2.50 I will just match it for a charity and still send cards

I thi k card of any kind are a total waste of money and time, never send Christmas cards and don't donate the money I would spend on them to charity, it would hardly make me a hero if I donated card money once a year. I give money to charity through the year.
The amount we all spend at Christmas on crap to give to each other is pretty ridiculous. I like to ask everyone what they want so I can give them something useful to them.
I am absolutely no eco hero, just don't see the point.

Having walked through several stores yesterday and still seen stacks and stacks of christmas card boxes on their shelves, it does rather point out the massive waste that goes hand in hand with the holiday...

www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/more-than-103000-tonnes-of-plastic-waste-predicted-to-go-to-landfill-this-christmas_uk_5c1b744fe4b08aaf7a8566b8?utm_hp_ref=uk-sourced&ncid=fcbklnkukhpmg00000001&fbclid=IwAR0sGp-jU1u-cKrG2DMBhp9Z33UHnjxSaw4uhb5HiWZYBUvbqUuCMxSARmA

I don't see the point of Xmas cards on the whole. I love getting the odd one with a personal handwritten message or photos or kid's drawings. But the vast majority are just my name at the top and their name at the bottom. What is the point in this? Both of us spending time and money to swap bits of paper with our names on. I can see why some people like them but for most people I know it's just another chore