To think charity is starting to steal Christmas!!

[KnightlyMyMan]

So to clarify - we are charitable- we donate generously via monthly direct debit to several good causes and in person (before anyone jumps on the scrouge bandwagon).

However, I’ve just (for the zillionth time) been faced with another ‘don’t buy gifts/ Christmas cards - just donate money in the persons name’ appeals.

This year seems to be really really pushy about this 😡 more so than ever before and it seems aimed to make people feel shitty/ selfish!

• I’ve noticed a trend in not sending cards - with several friends putting blanket messages on social media saying they won’t be sending any but donating instead so obviously it’s working!

Awesome- I’ll hang your Facebook message on my card tree shall I? 😒
Am I the only person who likes receiving cards (already in aid of good charities?), who actually enjoys opening them and displaying them? I recycle them all post Christmas and buy recycled cards each year so really don’t see the harm - it feels like a lazy cop out to say ‘I’ll just donate instead’ and not very festive or personal!

And no, I don’t really want you to donate in my name and present this to me as a gift. Charity is a personal thing and shouldn’t be inflicted on anyone! I have struggling family members who actually rather rely on Christmas gifts for rare luxury items but have too much pride to say anything if suddenly we started ‘donating in their name’!

Also- One ‘stuggling’ familiy member mentioned yesterday their anxiety over donating cash becoming the ‘social norm’ as they currently make very low cost gifts and wouldn’t be able to give cash. They felt that this becoming ‘the done thing’ It would highlight who can/can’t afford to write cheques! Like being the poor kid at non uniform day- adult edition.

Next it’ll be ‘don’t do a big fancy Christmas dinner or crackers- just donate the cost and have a burger instead!’

I get that it’s a good cause but can they just stop trying to steal Christmas out from under people who enjoy it ?!?!?

I am disabled as are many of my friends and don’t get out the house often. A card means such a lot to me to receive and I appreciate them very much. I also send them and often get charity cards to send.

I have noticed many of those putting that kind of status on Facebook are the ones who never sent them anyway - so it feels a bit like virtue signalling!

I understand cutting back on how many cards that get sent - but don’t underestimate how much they mean to some people including those feeling lonely or going through a difficult time.

i don’t give christmas cards or donate to charity. any cards i receive just get shoved in a drawer instead of them cluttering up the house and constantly falling over or falling off the sideboard. my kids have barely got any cards either this year because the school have introduced a policy where they won’t give out lists of kid’s name due to safeguarding issues.

Charity is an excuse - take it away and people might have to admit they just don't like doing it and they feeling forced into it. I stopped sending cards 5 years ago - not to give the money to charity but to give myself the gift of time to do other things I take more pleasure in. The people who like to send Christmas cards still do - even though I have told them I no longer wish to take part in this tradition. And I don't do presents anymore either because I bloody hate shopping for gifts that no one gives a shit about too - the dcs are the only ones getting gifts this year.

I don't think it's charity specifically, but the pressure to be seen to be doing. I think a lot of people prefer to opt out of Christmas cards or gifts but feel the need to have good enough reason for it other than 'I'd rather not' so use it or the environmental issues as a virtuous excuse.

I mean, seriously the impact of the cards in comparison to the typical meal or the presents - particularly the electronics and plastic types that are very popular, or the lights, let alone the tree whether it's natural or plastic - is almost laughable. Maybe from the few of us who don't do any of it could claim it without looking a bit silly, but I certainly don't not do Christmas out for environmental reasons.

I think the cash gifts are similar, it's very visible doing and showing and I can see how it would stress people out if that's becoming the norm. It isn't quite in my social circle - it's mostly food gifts - but I can see it being an issue for many.

Personally, if someone told me how much they enjoyed cards/having a card display for the holidays, I would probably make the effort to send them a seasonal card, but the only ones I get are from a couple family members who decades on don't remember that I stopped doing Christmas when I left home.

I have a friend who tries to sell her artwork. She posts a social media thing about not sending cards and donating to charity but then also expects her friends to buy the Christmas cards she makes. Haven’t got around to sending cards this year, but have had three bereavements in the last two months and not really feeling it.

I buy charity Christmas cards. Doesn’t cost in stamps as the people I give them to are people I see.

Why not just say “merry Xmas” or whatever to them then?

Charity is an excuse - take it away and people might have to admit they just don't like doing it and they feeling forced into it. I stopped sending cards 5 years ago - not to give the money to charity but to give myself the gift of time to do other things I take more pleasure in. The people who like to send Christmas cards still do - even though I have told them I no longer wish to take part in this tradition. And I don't do presents anymore either because I bloody hate shopping for gifts that no one gives a shit about too - the dcs are the only ones getting gifts this year.

Me too. It fucking rocks.

I like receiving and sending christmas cards. I always buy the cards from a local charity and they go in the recyling box when I take down the christmas decorations, although I do concede that the recycling does use energy. However, the amounts of cards I receive/send is reducing each year so I don't feel too bad. I send money/gifts to young relatives and a couple of close friends and I swop presents. Separately I donate to a couple of charities throughout the year, but do not feel the need to advertise this on social media. I will continue doing what I do now, and will not be listerning to any wanky, virtue signalling media whores trying to influence me to do things their way. It is like most things on social media, a case of the emperor's new clothes.

I send cards to just a few people who I know value them. People I see regularly I wish a merry Christmas in person, can't see a card makes a difference.

I agree with mostly what you say OP.

Just a few years ago I used to send and receive cards from pretty much every man and his dog is ever met. I get the environmental impact and I get the cost of postage and I get that social media has played a part in the reduced need to send that card once a year as a means of keeping in touch BUT I still send a few cards to the people I never get to see (We are ex military and have some lovely friends all over the globe and UK). I also send card to the older generation who don't get or have social media and are still doing xmas old school. I feel very sorry for some old people who may not get hardly any cards anymore when they dont have FB or other social media to see the 'no cards tgis year but makinga donation' posts. They just don't get it. I think a card in this technological age is putting in a little more personal effort to keep on touch with those you rarely see.

Charity wise I support 2 on a monthly basis. Do 2 charity events a year and volunteer in a local charity shop. I don't feel the need to support even more st Christmas, although this year I did help out at a homeless event locally.

It is guilt trip city all the way around here. I can't walk very far in our local town without being approached by someone with a tin or trying to sell me raffle tickets. I hate it.

I hate Christmas cards. They are so very wasteful. I really don't need one from the neighbours and their dog. Not when I saw them yesterday and they wished me a merry Christmas. I've sent a handful to relatives who aren't on social media and who I won't see over Christmas. I'm not particularly worried that someone's Christmas card tree is half empty, surely the whole point is to pass on best wishes for the season, whatever form that takes.

It's nothing to do with charity, it's just the tradition is changing.

Fine if the person is sincere, but I suspect many use this excuse to make a virtue out of 'I can't be arsed'.

I've stopped giving cards to people I see regularly. We don't exchange cards at work and do send round a collection envelope instead and we donate a few hundred pounds that way and we choose a different charity each year..

I do still send cards to family and friends that we don't see often, usually to older relatives who aren't on social media. A friend was telling me his widowed dad had only received 5 cards this year and was feeling quite down about it. There are people who still appreciate a card.

I don't really care about them myself but there is a happy medium I think.

I saw a thing on TV about how glittery, 3d and decorated cards can't be recycled due to the glue/ribbon/glitter/foam etc. And then consider that multiple card factories spend all year producing cards for easter, birthdays, xmas etc and you can see why people WANT to reduce this with a view to eradicating it totally.

It is a process that is purely for vanity......"oh look at how any cards I got".....and in an age of global warming it's just not needed.Imagine all the fuel and water/paper/card that's used for production. The plastic for packaging. The fuel to transport them. The pens to fill them. The stamps to send them. The lorries to deliver them and the energy to recycled the few that CAN be recycled .

Just no.

This year instead of buying cards I bought 150 school kids in Ghana a school dinner of rice and fish. it cost me £15 . And I did not need to share it on FB. I just did it. I am also in the process of using my festive fabric stash to make reusable wrappings for christmas gifts. I am just cutting various sized squares and hemming it. Will be using ribbons to secure them and then that is wrapping that can be reused and further reduces production and pollution. The wrapping paper money will be donated to the local dogs home.

I hate cards.
The colours all clash and seldom match my decor!
Do NOT send me any.

I think Xmas cards are more for elderly people, younger people don't seem to do it that much now.
My Mums whos 86 sends them to relatives we don't see from one decade to the next. I don't see the point, they don't give a fuck and neither do I.

I am just cutting various sized squares and hemming it. Will be using ribbons to secure them and then that is wrapping that can be reused and further reduces production and pollution. The wrapping paper money will be donated to the local dogs home.

Well. you know, it's difficult to take a moral high ground on anything. What about the processes used to produce that material and the energy it took to ship it to you and the petrol you used to get it and the potential sweat shops used to make/print it? And then energy you are using to hem it and do you really think that everyone you send it to will reuse it? Or is it more likely that it will end up in landfill taking longer to rot than paper?

I'm not saying you are the problem here, just that you can apply the same principles to anything other than sitting naked and dirty in the forest foraging for berries.

I would love it if someone made a donation to charity in my name instead of gifts - I specifically ask people to do this and they ignore me. I have so much tat I need to store until I can give it to charity. Often I can't even do that as I need to show the person I've used it and get it out of the box etc. So wasteful!

This is the first year I have not sent cards, but I did post some to my old uni friends who are not on social media & who I write to every Christmas. I also sent one to each child in my class because they love to get a card from their teacher.
I've had a lot of money difficulties this year, plus my role at work changed & I've been much busier & more tired & stressed than usual.
I've thought about stopping cards for a few years but worried about postal workers jobs.
However, with concerns about being eco friendly & my financial situation, I decided not to send cards.
I did put it on fb as I didn't want people sending to me....I've felt quite guilty when some still have.
I donate to various charities all year round. This Christmas though, instead of spending on cards, DD10 & I bought cat & dog food, treats & toys, which we put in recycled gift bags and took to a local animal shelter. I think this will become an annual tradition.

Charity is taken.care of through constantly subbing my kids and my form for charity events in school.

This is exactly what I am expecting to happen. People stopping sending cards (and also buying charity cards) but not actually guv8ng more than they were before the charities.

One ‘stuggling’ familiy member mentioned yesterday their anxiety over donating cash becoming the ‘social norm’
I think that is an issue. Bith for people who can receive nice fancybthings they would never have otherwise and for those on a tight budget who will feel they HAVE to give in cash.

As for the environmental impact.... we’ll yes but seriously, if you want to protect the environment, stop eating red meat (and all related products) as well dairy/cheese as they are responsible for about 30% of the greenhòuse emissions. Much more effective that nit sending Christmas cards.

There are lots of people to whom the sending and receiving of cards is important. I use it as a way of letting people we care about but don’t get to see as often as we would like know that we love them and are thinking of them. A phone call or visit would be even better but a card is quicker at this very busy time of year.
I am going to be completely honest and admit that I judge people that don’t make the effort to send them to people who they know would be pleased to receive one (and it is a bit of a chore) as being a tiny bit selfish or lazy (sorry, but I’m being honest there!) and it makes me like them a very tiny bit less. Obviously, each to their own.

I wouldn't like to see the tradition of Christmas cards die out entirely, although I suspect it will before too long. I definitely send far fewer than I used to (and have barely got round to any this year).

I have long suspected that the concerns around environment and charity are thinly veiling a lack of inclination to write them, though.

For those who speak about the environmental aspect - what would the impact of a complete lack of Christmas cards be given that if there was no requirement for the card, the trees that everyone worries about being cut down wouldn't exist in the first place? They are only grown as commercial crops.

Surely there is some balance in the benefit of trees on the environment and wildlife?

Most other Christian countries don't send Christmas cards. I think it is just one more thing we have been suckered and guilted into to make us part with our money.

Aside from close family I sent out about 10 cards. Next year I will do even less. I still receive cards from people I stopped sending to years ago. One of them is the same age as me and I met her once 13 years ago. I wouldn't know her if I fell over her. Why am I on her list? Is it like having FB friends? Look at me and how many people send me cards.

I've always thought cards wasteful when people actually hand them over in person - just say you hope they have a nice Christmas! I've done charity instead for years, but if a friend moved away and I wouldn't see them over the holidays I would send one.

I haven't seen so much about the gifts. I've seen a lot about giving charity donations OR home made, locally made, small business, eco friendly gifts in general though and think that's no bad thing.

Just googled and in 2016 it is estimated 900 million Christmas cards and envelopes were made, transported to retailers, posted, delivered and then discarded in the UK.