To not go to the ballet with dd

[MozzchopsThirty]

I've booked us tickets for ballet tonight, I've never seen a ballet.
I've got loads to do, been in work all day, came home to find my house stinks of curry, her and her boyfriend have left all the cartons, plates etc all over worktops, they've bought yet another takeaway despite pleading poverty
She hasn't answered her phone all day
I get home they're in bed
It's like a bloody student house

I lost my shit big time
And now she says she won't go

Quite frankly although I've paid £50 I could quite happily climb into bed and sleep until the morning

AIBU to do that?

Anyone else you can take? Anyone else want the tickets?

I'd go and tell her that the house better be clean and tidy when you get back.

Better idea is to go by yourself . I love going to the theatre alone I get totally enthralled without having to think of anyone else .
You might be able to return the spare ticket as well. Win win .

Go, by yourself or with someone else. All you have to do is sit, watch lovely dancing and listen to beautiful music.

As long as you don’t sub DD then if she wants to buy endless takeaways that’s up to her. If you do give her money then it’s a different matter.

Perfect! Take someone else!

It WILL be worth it!

Another vote for going by yourself or with someone else.
Your DD needs a kick up the arse and a serious conversation about behaving decently.

This is about your dd more than the ballet isn’t it?

Talk to us more about that. You say the pleading poverty bit like it’s a big deal - is she living with you and not contributing?

Get her to clean up the mess. Or would she not even if you asked her to?

This has been an issue sine she moved home from uni in June.
Her room is like a bomb site.
I clean once a week and hoover daily but things are so much more messy with her here.
She thinks sleeping and watching the Kardashian's is a reasonable way to spend the day
She's got 2 jobs and pays me £60 per week for food, bedroom, sky, broadband, washing done etc
She bought a £700 puppy when she came back which she doesn't care for

I can't get anyone to go, it's Black Friday here so city is rammed with piss heads, people are either out or staying away
I wouldn't go alone

I would most definitely go alone and really enjoy the down time.
I would ask her to move out. She needs to be living in shared accommodation so she can negotiate her lifestyle with flat mates and not her mother.

Go OP - put on your glad rags, head off and and have a g&t or a glass of bubbles and relax!

Definitely go. Tell her to get ready and make and effort. Confront her after you have enjoyed the show.

Offer the tickets up on local sell sites for sale someone might want them.

And hand her here one months notice unless she improves.

If she wants to spend her days off sleeping and watching the Kardashian’s that’s fair enough her time is hers to spend as she wishes however she now has the following rules:

• kitchen needs to be cleaned within an hour of a meal.
• dog needs to be cared for, puppy classes, walk three times a day pooper scooping in the garden daily.
• she can hoover daily cos dogs are a mess of hair and just dogness. Said as the owner of a sweaty very much loved dog mess.

-her room can be as messy as she likes but it will be hygienic so bin emptied by her every other day and no pots in there.

• her boyfriend is welcome to stay 2 days a week.
• she can do her own laundry.

It’s hard as a boomerang kid coming back from independent living but that doesn’t mean she gets to take the piss. She wants a £60 a week bargain then it’s going to cost her.

I think your daughter is taking the proverbial, frankly. She's not a child any more.

Buying an expensive puppy, especially as she doesn't care for it, is ridiculous at her age, she hasn't got her own home.

Why the heck are you doing a young woman's washing for her? Has she no self respect?

I sincerely hope the boyfriend doesn't live there with you both.

Please do try to go on your own, you will be safe in crowds. Take the other ticket with you, you may be able to sell it on the door, I've seen that done. Go and have a nice time. Though between now and going out time, she may have changed her mind - I hope so.

Sort daughter out tomorrow, lay down the law. Do you have anyone who could give you some support, if not a partner, a brother, sister, good friend? It would help.

And you wouldn’t be the only person there alone. It’s awkward as arse for the minute or two while you grab your seat but once he baller starts no one is looking at you anyway. And the while your getting sat no one is looking at you then either that’s just paranoia

OP please go! Normally I am not comfortable about doing "going out" things alone but this is different and magical.

I just can't face it
I'm exhausted and that just tipped me over the edge I would love to sleep 😴😴

She never goes to her boyfriends house, they're here lounging around

She said 'oh it's fine for your boyfriend to come over'
I screamed 'ITS MY FUCKING HOUSE'

Op where are you? I'll go with you! Me Eric been to a ballet before. Would love to go at Christmas. ( Probably too late to start looking now )

I've never ( not me Eric)

Go on your own and tell your DD to make the house spotless while you are out.

(The ballet is wonderful)

Poor puppy.

Take Eric!!! 😂😂

This is the thing. She’s behaving like a little kid in her home. And it’s time for her to learn she’s an adult. If she doesn’t like it she can leave. She has options. Very few as a dog owner but options she has. A dose of the real world may help her appreciate what your offering.

Did you post before about the puppy?

If its your fucking house, then what in god's name possessed you to allow her to bring a dog into it? You sound immature.

You sound at the end of your tether. Give her notice, tell her if she thinks she can act like this by paying £60 per week for everything she’s welcome to go and do so somewhere else.

If you don’t want to go to the ballet, don’t go.

Kick the boyfriend out, tell him he has to leave your house. It’s yours he needs to leave. And clean up first.

See if you can put the tickets on fb see if anyone wants them last minute? Or call the venue tell them you can’t make it see if they can sell your tickets on at the box office, you may get some money back.

Your daughter sounds very entitled and lazy. I’d stop doing her washing or anything.

Who’s taking care of the puppy? Can you re-home it?

Send your dd and her boyfriend, when they are gone change the locks

I'd ask her for the money for her ticket and then either go yourself/take a friend/go to bed. Up to you which one!

When you've decided on which option make sure she knows to tidy up all her mess, sort out the smell and whatever else.

She's taking the piss - well and truly. Don't allow it anymore.
Set some rules about washing/cleaning/guests/chores/the dog and general respect.
If she doesn't stick to them then she needs to leave.
Totally not fair for you to feel so shit in your own home.